Life is not an option, it's given
by Milady Doll
Summary: Was it death or something else? A story of a normal girl from this world who ends up in the harsh Hunter world. A parallel universe. How can she start her life a new and what road will she take to live through it all without becoming a piece of meat for the animals around her. Story sticks to the Zoldyck family, Hisoka, Gon and who ever could pop up to make my fantasy interesting.
1. Chapter 1 - The forgotten day

Hi there. This will by my first story that I have ever tried to create in my life. Over all as far as my creativity goes it doesn't go further from drawing. Whenever I discover a really good plot that I like from animes I just can't help myself and have the need to start a story of my own. I'm going to be honest. I'm not here to try and win a reward. All I want to do is write down these bothersome thoughts that have gathered up in my head so that I could also enlighten my own inner world. I am definitely not a professional writer so I'm not going to be writing a book here(I already have enough chapters and I do see mistakes.I will take them up and fix them). But that is it for this long ass guide incase this story won't live up to your expectations. I do not own any rights to Hunter x Hunter, this is only for my own entertainment in creativity.

The text in _Italic_ will be a persons thought. I will change the point of view of a character every now and then so I hope it won't end up being too confusing. This story definitely will not be meant for minors or people who cannot stand gruesome storylines. I do not have all of the plot out and ready so I can't guarantee what sort of text will wait ahead. Also I might use some Japanese terms time to time. *bows and opens the door to my imaginative side* Itterasshai~

* * *

^- This line will cut the persons point of view

**The forgotten day**

It was getting rather dim outside. The change could be seen clearly.

The weather is dull as always. ''I_s this supposed to be summer? So pathetic. Its only 4pm and there is not even a single soul outside. My work day will be so boring for the rest of the day_'', I complained to myself almost every day now.

While my body and facial expression never changed from calm or happy, I was a rather hateful person inside towards the world. Not that I could ever complain about my life. I have a warm home where I live with my mother and my cat. I have a job that pays well and a best friend who I could never lose to anything on this miserable planet. And yet again, everything irked me.

Oh how I wanted to be home right now. Drinking tea and harassing my cat while watching some anime. Or just teasing my friend, if I could ever be as good as she was at it.

''..ru.'', a faint sound from the back of the kitchen echoed, but I didn't pay attention to it since I wasn't the only person in this café at the moment.

''_I wonder if I should go grab something to eat after work. If I manage to get off early enough to run to the store that is.'' _

''ARU!_.._''

I jumped up from the counter to look behind me, and I could literally feel that uneasy feeling leaving my chest of being scared to death.

''Jesus fucking Christ..'' I huffed out loud as I calmed down, after seeing my manager walk up to me from the kitchen. ''I thought I was gonna die for a moment there, don't scare me like that Kate'' She laughed as she approached me and reached her hand out to ruffle my hair.

''You won't though.''

I didn't really mind people messing up my hair, because it was naturally silky and smooth. It never took me long to fix it, considering I have short hair anyway.

A couple of strokes and my hair looked like it did before.

She was shorter than me, so when she looked up to me I couldn't help but smile at this simple action.'' You know very well that that won't be enough to annoy me'' I finished fixing up the last strands of hair from my face and looked out of the window again.

'' By the way, did you call me before? I think I heard something but I guess I wasn't paying attention'' I looked back at the spot where she had been standing only a moment ago, but saw that she had already walked to the other side of the counter.

''_I'm really spacing out if I didn't even notice her moving'' _I leaned on the counter which was on the level with my ribcage, and took a step back to lay my upper body down against my arms, also crossing one foot behind the other. ''Looks like the weather won't change much for the time being'', I said with a bored tone while again looking around the place, and back at her.

''Pretty much yeah. I saw the weather report, and it is most likely going to stay like this for another two weeks''

I sighed out deeply, while showing a bored and an annoyed expression, that clearly showed my displease with the news.

''This sucks. I was hoping to go to the circus at least some upcoming day, before they take a hike from this city. Guess I have to wait for another time.'' I stepped back a bit more, to lower my body even further, so I could lay my head on my arms.

She looked back at me while I whined about such small matters.

She rested her head against her palm that was on the counter and kept gazing back and forth from me and the clock.

Light raindrops could be seen on the windows.

''What is it ?'' I asked, after seeing her look back and forth. I laughed a little while asking the question and she just pointed at the computer, that was next to me. I glanced at it, still looking at her confused. Her smile broadened and she tapped the screen with her pen. ''You can sign out for today. There won't be any guests today I'm sure, and even if there will be, I think I can manage. I don't have the title ''manager'' for nothing you know.'' She giggled after saying that and I smiled back at her, straightening my back to the sides I brought my hands above my head and stretched some more.

'' Hmmm if you say so, but don't come calling me in an hour saying it's a full house and that I need to come back. Because you know I won't.'' I tapped on the computer screen several times to check out. Patting her shoulder once, I took my leave towards the ''Staff Only'' door and walked with my hand in mid air, waving, ''Cya around tomorrow then.''

'' Bye Aru, don't die on your way home!'' She teased and giggled at the same time.

''As if anything in this world can kill me. Unless it's a zombie apocalypse, I won't have anything big to worry about''. I shouted my last two words at her before closing the changing room door behind me and locking it. I still heard Kate say something, but I didn't quite hear what so I just started changing out of my work clothes. I put on my black shirt which was tight around the body, but wavy and wider from the bottom. It could almost be viewed as a dress. Along with black tights and a pair of white creamy colored shorts that had ribbons at the side of my legs so I could pull the leg openings together and tie them up.

I made two bows from that and took my warm and quite a fluffy looking jacket with me while grabbing my bag and headed out of the changing room. I looked at the mirror one final time, ''Cya guys! Have fun at work, and don't tease Kate so much when I'm not around. You're gonna make me miss all the fun that way.'' I shouted out to Riku and Kain, our chefs who made the best food in my opinion.

I didn't cook for myself, but depended on my best friend Aya to make delicious dishes for me.

She loved to cook anyway, unlike me.

''Ja ne, Aru!'' Riku and Kain both yelled after me when I was basically running out of the door and waving at them.

'' _Finally I'm out of this place. Now..my music, I need my own little world, I can't stand acting any more casual than I already have to everything fucking day..'' _I was looking around in my bag for my player, while walking towards the bus stop that was ten minutes away from the cafe I worked at.

''_Now I can block myself out of this world and the noise._'' As much as I never had anything against any of the people who I interacted with I never found most of them interesting enough to truly enjoy their company. For me they were just humans I could talk to; just to kill some time. The only person I could ever truly be myself with was Aya. I have known her for more than half of my life because of school years. And I'm already 21.

Time goes so fast nowadays I don't even know how I can manage to do so much in my life that I have planned ahead for now. ''_I'm going to be so old once I finish with university and get our business running_.''

I walked down a familiar street that I always did, when going home, while listening to anime sound tracks and theme songs.

''_Yogoto kanageru… re~quiem-u,kanjita yo sosoritatsu hodo ni, oishisou de ne~ mitsuketa~.'' _

Yes I was singing along in my head. It is Hisokas character theme song and the lyrics are pretty gruesome in many ways. Not to mention just plain Hisoka like.

The lyrics are utterly creepy and that's just the reason why I like the song. There are many weird and twisted things in this world that I like. One being the person I just mentioned.

When you ask me what kind of a person is attractive, then my only answer will be: '' weird ''. In my case, if the person is in control of their thoughts and actions, has a strong personality and has a few kinks then yes, you will have my full attention.

I felt goose bumps going down my spine. That's what to expect from this weather.

I looked up to the sky and only saw dark gray. ''_hmph, ye, just float around there. Stupid clouds.''_ I pocketed my hands because I could feel the cold wind slowly biting on my skin and started to walk faster through the alley way that I had turned to a few seconds ago, to hide from the ghostly wind.'' _I'll just go around then. I'm not having that shitty wind blow in my face for another 10 minutes.'' _I walked by some old dumpsters and a whole lot of newspaper stacks. This place was literally a dump.

Suddenly something hit me from the inside and I stopped. Immense pain.

My face went pale and I stood in shock.

I narrowed my eyebrows in confusion. I didn't understand why I felt like that all of a sudden. My whole body trembled for a minute, before I started to notice that my breathing kicked in and my heart rate slowed down faster than I had noticed. It made me feel sick to my stomach.

''_What the fuck.. Is this the same thing that happened a long time ago? I only felt like this once in my life and that was only because I was stressed out and hadn't eaten anything. Why is my pulse so low right now.'' _ I had a million questions going through me in that short time I was standing there. My body became colder as I stood there, feeling so damn weak.

I needed to sit down before I would actually fall and hit my head. ''_This is not good at all. I hope it fades away, I don't want to be sitting here forever in this weather.'' _I started to slowly panic in my head when I saw my hands shaking and it felt hard to move my muscles.''_It's like I would be sitting in a snow blizzard, that my muscles are freezing up like this. What in the fuck is going on with my body.'' _

I just sat there staring at my hands.

''_Now I feel sick to my stomach too. Great. Just wonderful. I swear if I get sick now or get some illness I'm gonna beat myself up for catching something. I know very well my body is not this weak to catch some dumb cold.'' _All I knew, what to do, was to either wait for it to go away or actually find some place warm to go.

''_I guess I should try and go back to the cafe for now and drink tea. I can just call a taxi if I feel like I can't go home anymore.'' _As heavy as my body felt at the moment, I tried my best to push myself off the cardboard box that I had stumped on to take a break.

My legs failed me and crumbled back down on the box. Now that I had sat down though, it was likely that my body would give in to the gravitational pull.

I started to feel lightheaded and I tried to take deeper breaths, so that my blood flow would reach my brain.

I lifted my hands to hold onto my head, and rub it slowly, while lowering it down on my bent knees. ''UGH! I feel so crap!'' I almost shouted out loud, hoping that my voice would make this feeling go away.

I gripped onto my head more when I actually felt like I couldn't bring myself to even hold my balance while sitting. ''_I wanna sleep in my warm bed right now. This is not how I wanted to end up, after getting off from work early. Should I call Kate?'' _

That seemed like the best option and I tried to reach for my bag. It was hard to move my arms, not to mention to get the zipper between my fingers to get the bag open even. All of my muscles felt frozen.

''_This is just pathetic. Come on Aru, you're not this weak. People die of diseases and get killed, and here I am, struggling to open a zipper.'' _I was having a battle with my mind and body. Whilst I knew it was such a simple task to accomplish, my body was denying any action.

''I feel like a rock.'' I sighed in and out deeply, giving up on the priority in getting the phone out of my bag.

''Is anyone there!?'' I shouted out a bit louder than I normally would, knowing there wouldn't be many people out in this weather, especially around the place where I walked by from.

''Ugh. Just whatever.'' I closed my eyes and rested my hands on my knees holding them out in front of me. I put my head on my knees as well and in between my arms. I took deep breaths, hoping that my vision and blood flow would stabilize.

It was't happening.

I suddenly felt my heart ache.

''_what in the world…''_ I still had my head down on my knees and I lifted one of my arms really slowly and as fast as possible at the same time as my body allowed me to.

Placing my hand on my chest, I took the time to feel the rhythm of my heartbeat. It was drastically slow, too slow. My eyes widened in shock and I started to tremble. ''T_his is a joke right… I'm not that old to be having heart issues. Why is this happening!'' _I kept asking myself that in my head.

There was another rough beat. I gripped onto my jacket as tightly as I could manage.

This time it felt like electricity went through my body.

''_Maybe this happens when a persons pulse is too low, that it's giving out signals to the body. It has to be. There is nothing wrong with me!'' _I kept reassuring myself with that thought alone, when suddenly noticing that my hearing had dimmed. All I could hear from my music was low sounds, like someone had stuffed cotton in my ear and I was unable to make out the words.

I took the headphones off after struggling to get my hand as far as my head was. They fell on the ground, but the player was still stuffed in my pocket. The ground was wet and I couldn't care less that they were in the muddy wet puddle below my feet.

It hit me again. The electrical pulsing. I was holding onto my chest tighter with both hands, from pure reflex. Like trying to keep something from popping out. ''_This is not happening, it just can't be.''_

A small passing thought came in my head.

''_What if I die… what if I die in this fucking alley and nobody will come. I can't even move myself..'_' I was panicking too much to even notice that it started to rain a few minutes ago. All I could feel were those electric pulses going through my body and my body was trembling from the shocks. ''_I don't want to die here. Not now. PLEASE!''_

The need to cry was crippling in my throat, but I had absolutely no strength to even do so. All I could feel were the warm tears forming in my eyes, that began to fall along side the rain.

''It ..hurts…'' I managed to whisper. I could barely hear my own words and I began to silently cry to myself.

It slightly hurt to breathe.

The electric pulses did not stop.

I felt my head spin and I was not able to even focus what was in front of me anymore. Everything was happening so slowly. The pain felt like an eternity, but then again it all happened so fast I was not able to understand why this occurred.

Why I had not moved in the beginning, was still a mystery to myself. Why did I stay there and sit like an idiot. Why didn't I do anything ..

That's when I felt all rationality leaving me and I lost my balance completely. Everything went black, but my mind was still clear.

I couldn't see.

I felt my head hit the wet solid rock and my body following the movement. All I could manage, was to lay there in the dirt with the rain pouring over my stiff body. My eyes were blank, my face had no emotion. I could still feel tears on my cheeks.

The pulsing stopped. ''_My heart stopped.'' _It was the last thing my mind could tell me_._

_._

_._

_._

''_It's dark.. What was I doing again? Why am I even thinking. I don't understand..''_

_''If I'm able to think, that means I'm something, right? My entity exists as something. What am I exactly? It's so dark I can't see.'' _

_''See? Should I be able to see something? Does that mean I am something that has more than an intellectual entity? _

_Intellectual ..The mind, body and…'' I_ saw something flash before me_. ''The soul?'' _

I felt like a thousand needles had pierced through my being. I had images going through me in a blink of an eye. This was shown like a movie.

''_Is that my life?.. life…what is life?..i don't know what I need to know at the moment.'' _I had more images go past.

My whole life was going by in a short instant like it was nothing. The time I had spent seeing my life pass me, felt like a programming code was being copied into my mind in a millisecond.

''_It feels so dull, this world that I am seeing. What do people fight for in such a place. People? Humans? Is that what I am. Am I a living being that can think for myself? I have the right to think, don't I ?'' _Everything started to make sense again. But why? What made me see these images? Why am I in such a situation?

Half the questions that a person, who would have forgotten about a lot of things while having this experience, would not be skipping a lot of things that I did. That meant that my trail of thought was still fresh and something had happened just a moment ago. Right?

I felt something. ''_I can feel. My body has a nerve system. Am I a biological creature that is able to feel emotion and objects through contact with others? Why am I like this. This place, what is it?'' _

I felt a small sting in my vision. ''_What was that!?'' _

There it was again.

It's like something is burning through me. Something was burning me? I felt it all too clear to think that I was senile. There was no sound, just the painful stings of needles and being burned. It felt like I was moving in lightspeed. Everything was going forwards so fast that the images were just mere light now.

I was burning up.

I knew I didn't have a body, I couldn't feel anything else around me except for my thoughts, and the rushing feeling of being pushed forward.

More like pulled towards something.

_''It hurts so much its unbearable. I want to stop this at once.''_ I felt like I was going to explode from the surge of pressure that was being pushed on me from the speed.

It went pitch black.

I lost consciousness with my mind completely. Disconnected from everything.

* * *

''Do you think it worked?''

''The body should be functioning just fine in some time. This took a lot of energy from Alluka and also from us. If this experiment is a success then she won't need to suffer anymore. We can't have anymore failures.''

''I hope so. If the wish we made now was the correct one, then that means our effort in this case was not in vain.''

''That is true. I'm afraid if this is a fluke then we need to make changes in our plans. We will not be getting that amount sent to us for more experiments and overall the ties will be cut. We literally can't afford to make any more mistakes than we already have. Those people are valuable customers, after all.''

''I agree, they have been generous with their funding up until now. I am actually surprised of that. But that just shows how eager they are to see results in this matter.''

''For now we need to take every move as a risk. As generous as they have been I highly doubt they will continue to be so. Even if they cannot do anything to harm us or our business, it will still have damage on our given resources and that would only be a complete waste of time and effort on something that we were originally not meant to do in the first place.''

''I will head back up for now. I suggest for now, stay here. It would be best to monitor such faint movements and reactions in case there is any change.'' The older man started heading towards a small staircase that was in the cold basement room. The room itself could be mistaken for a secret agency hideout with all the tech laying around the place.

''I will report back as soon as I notice anything unusual, if it's progress to the experiment then I will not leave. If you think you have the need to come back then please, bring something edible with you.'' The mans tone was emotionless but firm. The older one laughed in low tone and opened the door in front of the staircase.

'' To think I only now need food. My old age is paying the price I suppose. Unlike you I will go and eat now, my body cannot sustain functioning without food for more than 10 days anymore unfortunately.'' The older man stepped out of the damp room and into the hallway while finishing his sentence in a relaxed, pleased tone. ''I do hope you know your limits Illumi, I do not want to end up finding two unconscious bodies when I return.'' He closed the door and walked away soundlessly.

Illumi stared at the door for a moment in the dim light that the monitors and other tech machinery gave off before reverting his eyes back at the lifeless like body in the middle of the room.

The body was hooked up to all kinds of wires. Ones that were stuck on the body and the others that were in and out of the body. For now even he didn't know what connected to what. So he made sure not to approach any cable or wire in the room. His emotionless black eyes moved to the hand of the pale body laying on the surgery table immediately after noticing a twitch in the fingers that could not be seen by a normal person from such a distance. The movement had been faint but it was enough to reassure him that all was well for now. The body had life.

Illumi approached the body in a careful manner. Paying attention to any obstacle that might catch his feet. He never took his eyes off of the body, still scanning for movements.

''_Nothing can interfere, if anyone besides Zeno tries to even enter this place and take even a moment of my work, they will not see anything besides my face again.'' _At the moment he was fairly focused on the mission in front of him and if anything would even dare to disturb him then the person wouldn't even have a second to live after opening that door.

He took a seat next to the table that was meant for Zeno if the old man would grow tired of waiting too long, but would still need to stay there to check on things.

* * *

There was faint a noise, more like an echo that could be felt.

It felt horrible.

Feeling anything at the moment felt like going through Hells pain._'' I want to move.'' _

That is the moment when Illumi had noticed the finger movement.

''_There is something there. Another person? Why can't I call out or move?'' _ It was frustrating to know that I felt like I was laying down, but had no strength or power to even open my eyes.

''_This body feels so cold, just like before. Am I dying still? Is this why I can't move at all? Wait..what happened exactly..''_I was getting beyond annoyed. My mind was clear as it could be, but I couldn't see or hear. Not to mention moving this stiff body. All I could do was feel my slowly functioning body and the sound waves that surrounded me.

''_This place feels warm, but my body is cold. I wish I could move. I need to move. I feel so sick.''_

* * *

Illumi noticed another movement from the body but this time it was the lips._ ''Could this body be recovering from such shock so soon?''_ He saw more movement and his eyes widened in amazement. ''_This person has a lot of will power to be able to move a half dead body.'' _He kept his focus on the girls face and was taken aback when he saw the lips parting.

* * *

''_I need to move. This is killing me. Please for fuck sake. Voice! I need my voice! SOMEONE.'' _

Out came a heavier huff than my body managed at the moment. It was more like a cry for help in a really silent way.

I needed to know why I was still in this stiff mode. I wanted to know I was laying in a hospital bed and that I was under narcosis. That's why I wasn't able to move.

While I was frantically pushing my mind to move my body, I felt something behind my head. It was warm. '_'A contact with..something?'' _I stopped any trace of thought and kept my focus on what was happening to my body. Something was pushing my head up a bit.

In that moment there was a ray of light piercing through my eyes.

I panicked.

It burned. The light.

Something was trying to prey my eyelids open, and it was too bright and so I desperately wanted it to stop. ''_My fucking god, stop, please just STOP…'' _My eyes closed at that point, and it was dark again, but I felt movement in my eyes. I could move them.

Could the shock have activated my nerves? I do hope so.

I started feeling my body better now.

Fingers, my breath,chest, feet.

Everything that seemed normal to check over seemed to be there. Nothing was missing. And I'm guessing since my mind was clear enough to know what is right and wrong, that there shouldn't be anything wrong with me. ''_I must have been found after quite a while if my body is in this terrible shape, I feel so weak.'' _

In that trace of thought I felt something brush against my cheek and then my ear.

It felt weird because not all feeling in my skin was back yet, and the sensation left it tingly.

''..an.. u.. ar me.''

Was that sound? ''_What?.. Is someone actually there? How did I not notice.'' _There was a touch on my ear again and I felt it more now. It was a tingling feeling, but I felt it.

''Can you hear me?''

I was calm for a second, being happy over the fact I had no injury to my sight or hearing. But who?

It seemed to be a male, according to the low voice. I went through the words again in my head.

''_That is strange, I understood him but I can't recall knowing this language. In instinctive ways I understand perfectly fine. But I can't bring any letter images in my head of what language it could be. Maybe there is something wrong in my head after all.'' _

''IF you can hear me, try moving any part of your body twice so I know it's a positive answer,'' the low almost silent voice echoed in my mind for a moment before thinking over what was easier for me to move in this state.

''_I think I'm capable of moving my eyes.. everything else seems too much effort. Ill just go with that.'' _I slowly wanted to open my eyes, but the light was too much for me.

The blue hue burned into my mind and I felt my eyes starting to water. ''_That was a shitty thing to do. And it hurts so much for fuck sake.'' _

I decided to just leave my eyes closed for now and just faintly enough moved them left and right.

It hurt to do it only once. _''I need to do this a second time as well? Fuck me.''_ As much as it burned and stinged, I managed to move them the same way I did before.

''_If this is only to move my eyes, then I can't imagine moving any other part of my body.''_ For now I didn't hear or feel anything after giving my movement response to the person.

I had to wait. There is no faster recovery than that.

''I confirmed your current status to someone else who is dealing with your case. Rest assure, your body is healing just fine and in a very fast pace. You should concentrate your will into getting your system to work fully and rest.''

There were so many words I couldn't picture as exact words in my head, but I understood what he said._ ''So I'm recovering from what ever happened to me. That is good to hear.''_ I felt relieved.

I relaxed my body from any pressure I might of caused it in my panic mode for wanting to move.

This was so tiring.

I could hear faint noises.

The soothing low noises were relaxing for the background and I started to grow tired all of a sudden.

Someone was typing on a keyboard.

_''Tired, so so tired. ''_ The next second my mind fell asleep and everything seemed to be in place, for now.


	2. Chapter 2 - To believe or not to believe

**To believe or not to believe, neither are an option**

I opened my eyes slowly.

Everything was really hazy.

I could only make out a few objects in the current room I was in, as much as my vision could let me focus.

My mind was still clouded by my sleepy state and I wanted to turn my head, but failed at it.

I didn't want to know what sort of a face I had at the moment, because I knew I never looked that appealing when I woke up. Especially now since I've had this shit happening to me out of the blue. ''_What time is it. I feel like I've been sleeping forever.'' _

I looked around the room and my eyes widened._ ''….I..can see.'' _My eyes shot wide open when I realized this and I had the urge to get up, but that's when I felt my body protest again. '' _..oh..right. I can't really move. But damn am I happy.'' _I felt huge relief come over me and I was utterly happy to finally be able to take one step towards recovery. '' _Yokatta!_'' I sighed and relaxed into the soft fabric that was under my body to keep it comfortable.

I closed my eyes for a brief moment, enjoying the feel of the soft warm bed. I also noticed that my body temperature had turned back to normal; it was still a little low; I had a good thick layer of blankets over me to keep the heat from leaving.

I opened my eyes once again to hover over the room.

It was fairly dark in here. ''_How can I see so well? There are no lights on and I can't spot any windows.''_ The door frame shape that caught my eyes was shut.

My expression turned a bit sour from that thought. ''_Must be because my sight just returned and everything is so sensitive still.''_

Looking around, my expression hardened even more. ''_Now that I think about it. Why are there so many computers and wires around? Am I not in a hospital? According to my information , as much as I've seen a normal recovery room, this looks nothing like one.'' _There of course were things to measure my heart rate and all sort of physical detection programs on the screens in case something in my current state should go wrong, but there were a lot of other machinery I could possible not find a suitable use for in this situation. They just looked like some items you'd see in a sci-fi movie. The items looked completely ridiculous. They things that you would not dare to touch if you valued to keep your limbs attached.

I started noticing other small details that brought more curiosity, anxiety and fear.

The ceiling was made from marble. You could make out the stones natural decor and light tone.

The walls were from heavy stone or brick. Everything looked old and the material and design for such a place would mean that this was not even a room.

The smell of moss and dirt started lingering in my nose very faintly and I had to take a moment to gather myself.

''_ Are you fucking kidding me? I'm in a basement? …no no no, this can't be right. What sort of a place would be made for patients in a basement. Unless some sick bastard took my limp half dead body and started experimenting on me. Oh god. I better fucking hope not. I swear I will take what ever means to kill myself off then.'' _ I went through a lot of ridiculous ideas before I started to analyze my situation again slowly. ''_Maybe there actually is something wrong with me and this is just some safety backup room for people who need treatment beyond normal circumstances .'' _I narrowed my eyes knowing exactly that what I had just thought of was probably the most stupid and senile thing I could come up with. ''_Now I'm starting to think like those idiots from movies who exaggerate about everything. I'm sure there's a perfectly good reason for my situation. ''_

I looked up to the ceiling and emptied my head of any thought. I concentrated on the lowly shimmering stone pigment above me and relaxed. The thing I knew for certain was that something went very wrong in my body. All I could do now, was just wait and keep on recovering. If anything were to happen, be it good or bad, I wouldn't want to be tired and pass out.

My focus was still on the ceiling and I just kept my eyes there for now. Many minutes had passed, since I was used to keeping track in time after spending time in the café and waiting on guests. ''_All this thinking and exaggerating would not do me any good anyway. I'll just relax for now.'' _My pulse was calm and steady, so much I could tell. It would only do my weakened state harm if it got ragged up now.

More minutes passed and I could feel myself getting uneasy.

My frail body became stiff in an instant. It was the feeling you got after watching a horror movie and you knew, if you turned to look at any dark corner, you would see something horrifying staring right back at you.

I could feel someone keeping an eye on me. Their focus was clearly on my presence only and it scared the shit out of me.

The feeling was burning in to my skull and I felt like if I made any movement at all, the being would come out and I would see something that would mentally scar me for life. I was beyond terrified.

I dared not to do anything but keep staring up in the ceiling. ''_There's nothing there, I'm just imagining things. I'm just getting used to the dark so my imagination is taking its route.'' _As much as my mind stayed rational, my body did not. I was still feeling very much terrified. My eyes shifted to the monitor that kept a reading on my pulse. ''_It went higher.'' _As I said that, it went higher even more.''_Why, thank you for showing me that I'm a wimp.''_ I could feel my insides turning from the feeling I was getting, and I closed my eyes to try and calm myself down.

There still hadn't been anything in the room. No movement of any kind. Just the machines doing their work.

I tried thinking of nature for a moment, calming forests, soft breezes and beautiful songs that birds sang early in the morning.

I no longer had that prickling feeling crawling up my spine, and I slowly opened my eyes, feeling a little bit more calm.

This time I heard a faint sound. It was ticking.

''_Is it coming from above?'' _I stared at the ceiling for a moment before listening again. ''_No, even if it was from upstairs, there is no way that sound could come through this marble ceiling.'' _

I looked around the room for a moment before diverting my eyes to the door. ''_Something's outside? Maybe it's the person before who mentioned about my recovery. I'm guessing a doctor then.'' _It was clear now that they were footsteps. Not loud ones, but still steps. They were slowing down and finally came to a halt. I kept my eyes on the door when it opened.

In came a rather tall, but an older man. His hair was dark with the shade of brown, and his face was slim.

The man looked to be a rather serious person, but I could not see any evil signs in his expression.

It was a rather normal human, is what I got from my calculation. My expression changed from being alert to calm. I relaxed and my over all stance became less tense when I saw that the man had given me fairly minimum attention, because his nose was in a pile of papers that he was browsing through.

He walked in slowly, not taking his eyes off the papers in front of him.

Shutting the door with his foot, he took careful steps down the small staircase.

I kept my eyes on him.

''_His observation is cunning even if he isn't looking where he's going.''_ He walked to the table that was already covered in a mass of papers and over all working material I guess.

My eyes were fairly open when I saw him stopping to take off his black leather coat and slowly putting it aside on the chair that was further away from me to the right. He took his time in lowering himself to the chair, before glancing over at me for a second. His expression changed and immediately shot back up from his half sitting pose.

He was stumped to see me staring at him. I only blinked slowly because I didn't see anything special in this.

'' Oh my, you're awake. I'm terribly sorry for not noticing sooner!'' The man talked fast and walked towards me while turning on one of the monitors for some light before reaching me. I never took my eyes off of him.

I couldn't figure out how to use my voice yet so it made it harder to face this man. Was he a bad person?

'' How are you feeling young miss. I'm your nerve puncture doctor for a short period of time, this will make things faster in your recovery.'' he scratched the back of his head a bit and had a smug smile on his face. ''I apologize again for not noticing sooner, but you were awfully quiet so I figured you were sound asleep.''

I narrowed my eyes only a little at this.''_Well..duh. I cant exactly speak as of what I just found out myself.'' _

He leaned forward to lower himself, and sat on the small wooden chair that was next to the bed I was laying on. He sat and pulled on the chair to come closer.

'' Let me take a look at you first and then we'll get to fixing you up.''

He lowered the blanket a bit to take a hold of my arm and started feeling around the wrist area to around my elbow. He moved his right hand to my shoulder and then to the back of my neck, still keeping a hold on my arm with his left hand. '' This won't hurt at all, I'm just feeling around your nerves to see how much work there is to be done.''

I slowly closed my eyes to give him a signal that I confirmed what he told me. He took the chance to look at my eyes for a brief moment for my answer and then continued with his work on my nerves.

I couldn't tell how long it took, since I got lost in observing what he was doing. It all seemed so interesting. To be able to know the nerve system so well so you could easily just analyze in how to treat a person.

There weren't many places that he went over, but the amount of ways he touched certain nerve spots was more than enough to know, that he got what he was looking for.

''All right, first I'll restore the feel to your throat so you would be able to control your tongue and vocal cords. The rest after that is childsplay.'' I saw him taking out a small leather bag that was rather old, and was wrapped up with cloth to keep the bag from falling apart. He took out two long thin needles and moved his fingers over them slowly.

I felt my soul leaving my body. He wasn't going to stick those in my flesh now was he?

'' Don't you worry about a thing, you won't be feeling anything until I'm done with the last needle. The only thing you will be feeling when I finish, is that you will have a sudden surge go through you like electricity. But that is normal, so don't feel frightened. It is only the feeling of your nerves being restored, you won't be in any danger.''

I sweatdropped inside of my head and my expression was still worrisome. The man laughed softly and placed one of the longest needles in my shoulder. It looked too weird, but interesting at the same time that I didn't know what sort of emotion I should be having. The procedure was interesting, but it scared the shit out of me at the same time.

He leaned over me for a second and as he sat back down, I shot my eyes to the other side of me only to see that the other long needle was inside of my other shoulder. ''_I'm gonna be looking like some Frankenstein from Hellrising.. this is so cringy..'' _

He moved his hand over my collarbone and held down a certain spot under the bone while placing a shorter needle in the right side of my neck. He did so again by switching his hands and placing another on the other side. ''_This is so retarded, I swear to god. I wonder what normal people would be feeling who didn't have any problems with their nerves..'' _

For a moment he did some weird move. He closed his eyes and placed a needle in between my collarbone and tapped it two times before removing it slowly, along with the other needles. His face wasn't so tense anymore, and acted like what he did was the most common thing ever. ''_Probably for him it's an everyday thing.''_

The corners of his lips turned up slightly and he looked back at me. ''This should do it, you should be able to talk now. Well go ahead, give it a try,'' he eagerly awaited for me to open my mouth and say something. His eyes were full of enthusiasm and pride. For some reason I felt like something held me back from talking. I felt scared?

''Uhm, thank you sir?'' My voice was really high pitch, but soft and still ragged. I felt really out of place to talk out loud all of a sudden, after it seemed like an eternity when I hadn't used my voice. I guess it was normal that my voice was like that. But I couldn't bring myself to accept the fact that that was the reason for it to sound so different.

He laughed with joy and softly patted my head. ''You're all good to go, young miss. Now all you need to do is drink warm liquids. Be it tea or soup or anything else. It is the fastest way for your muscles to warm up and it won't have such a hard blow on you when you continue talking. You might still feel sore, but that is because your body hasn't functioned normally for a long time.''

''_Long time? How long have I been out.'' _I couldn't help but feel scared about what he just said.

''I will do that, thank you again for helping me recover my voice.'' I smiled back at him. He was a kind man. I could tell he was fairly proud of his work.

''Ahh, I almost forgot,'' I got curious while still smiling in gratitude for his work when he pushed his thumb against the back of my neck.

''agh!…tsk.'' I held my breath for a moment and clenched my fists slightly.

All feeling came back to me in a short moment when I felt the electrical pulse go through me from head to toe. I made a disgusted face from the feeling I got and heard him chuckle, ''I did say it wouldn't hurt, but I didn't mention that it won't feel great.'' His laughing became more silent when he patted my head.

''I just can't help but see peoples faces when their system is turned on again. I'm sorry though.''

''_so you do this all the time? Do you naturally deal with half dead people every day?_'' He smiled at me when I pouted and looked at him like I was about to punch him to death like a little child.

''Hahaha don't worry little miss, you're no way harmed. I'm the best in my line of work so you're in good hands.''

''_that doesn't sound so reassuring for my situation either. Your line of work? Suspicious.'' _

''I can even guarantee, that you will be able to sense and feel two times better now than before. Once you get your health back in shape that is.''

He finally removed his hand while finishing his sentence and stood up from the chair. My body felt exhausted when I tried to push myself to sit up even a tad bit.

I lifted my hand to my head to undo the mess he had made while patting me.

Natural reflex from how I always used to tidy my hair. ''How long have I been here, that I'm in this sort of an unsteady state?''

The man walked back to the messy table, took a pen and scribbled down a few things while answering, '' Oh I'm sorry, but I do not know the details to your situation. That would be the people who are actually looking after you right now. But I gotta hand it to them, for them to be able to keep your body in this good shape, it's a miracle you're even alive and kicking.'' He finished his sentence and smiled back at me for a second before turning to grab his coat from the chair, and throwing it over his shoulder, taking a few papers with him.

My eyes widened in surprise. ''_My situation had been that bad? I guess I should of figured that since I couldn't even talk or move my body. But to be actually told this in reality..just feels totally different when I say it in my head.'' _I looked down at my hands for a brief moment before turning back to him.

''I'm really grateful for what you have done doctor, I honestly am. I will make sure to take good care of my body, so that your work wouldn't go to waste.''

He smiled back at me for giving him such an honest answer.

'' It was great meeting you young miss, but I am sad to say I have to run now. I'm kind of running short in making it to my next appointment. May we meet again later,'' he said it all in a hurry while sprinting across the room towards and out of the door. ''_He left the door open.''_ A thought came to me to go outside, but I knew it would be pointless to struggle to get up. _''But he sure was a nice person. I'm sure the people who are taking care of me are just as nice, though I still have high suspicions of this shady looking place.'' _I looked around the half dim room, now that the door was left open, I could see warm, low, yellowish light gleaming in from the hallway.

Then I realized something.

Something weird that I had seen before, but never showed any interest towards it.

I stared at my hands in shock. ''_I'm skinny… I mean, this is too skinny even for my bone size.'' _I panicked and faced my palms down to take a look at my whole arm. '_' Why do I have all these stitches and scars all over my joint areas.'' _My hands started to tremble and shake for a mere moment.

It's like I had been sowed together.

I forced myself to sit up even a bit to move the long white shirt up my body. There was a long stitched up scar line going down my stomach. ''_My skins so pale, I have absolutely no meat on my bones. God I looks so pathetic. And what the hell is up with these scars, I don't remember falling or hurting myself...did I need an operation?'' _It was all so confusing.

I put the shirt back and rested two fingers on my forehead and closed my eyes in disbelief. ''_I need to start moving and eating again or I'm going to look like a skinny bag of bones for the rest of my life. Just what in the world..'' _

A few strands of hair glided down my shoulder to cover my face and I brushed it aside to the back of my ear. ''_Wait, since when was my hair such a soft color of blonde'' _I took a hold of a good handful of hair and noticed it was long. _'_

_'_GYAAAH.'' I exclaimed in a loud voice and stared at my hair. '' I have long hair? Why!''

Now that I was talking I could hear my own voice more clear.

I panicked.

My eyebrows were clenched together and my eyes were wide and open like a madman. I lowered my head and dropped my hands to my lap. ''_This isn't my voice. Not my hair. Not my body.''_ I could feel a stinging feeling come to my eyes and my breathing hitched. ''This is not.. me.''

Tears ran down my face when I blinked, still having a rather horrified expression of what I just discovered. My voice became high pitch and I felt myself stammer when I tried to reason with myself. '' This .. this c-can't be happening. Wh-hy am I like t-this.'' I wiped my eyes with my right hand and still had an unsteady breathing. ''_What is going on..'' _I was thinking between the ragged breathing while warm tears still fell down to my lap.

I was getting rather soaked in it. My confused state didn't allow me calm down and that lead me to not think rationally.

The machine next to me started making a low beeping sound and it brought me back to reality for a brief moment. My eyes were hazed with shock and sadness. I looked at it from the corner of my eyes which were now red and wet. ''_ Ah, my pulse went up.'' _I suddenly felt rather emotionless and empty having taken in the realization of my current state. But how.

''Aside from being in shock, I'd say you're perfectly fine. Don't worry. Your high heart rate won't do you harm.''

I jumped a little in place, when I suddenly heard someone speak and immediately looked towards the door.

I only kept staring. It was a tall lean young man, he had long hair and I could tell he was nicely built. But I didn't see more in this dim light.

My heart started beating more rapidly and my eyes widened; I immediately wiped my eyes.

The man looked at me and glanced over the machinery that was showing my state. ''I must of startled you, don't worry I won't harm you,''he said all of that in a way that clearly didn't show he meant any of it. He reflected no emotion, but then again I could tell his voice was too firm and steady to be telling lies.

There didn't seem to be any ill intention to his presence. He walked closer to the table where the doctor had stood before and took a note in his hand. He looked it over for a moment before turning back to me. '' You should be physically fine now. Aside from your weak state that is, but you're not in a critical state.''

Everything about him seemed off. '' _Have I seen him before? Something seems so nostalgic to his presence.'' _

''Uhm, this might sound like a stupid question, but have we met before?'' My voice was unsteady, not sure how to approach such a person. ''_ You can never be sure who the person is, and I'm not that great in talking to strangers who I haven't seen before.''_

''_He's creepy.'' _

He took a few steps forward.

His facial expression never changed and only continued looking at me while answering.

''No, we have not met , but whatever life you had before might still hold memories of what you had lived through before. Your soul transaction might of cut out some of that memory though.''

My face didn't change not even once when he spoke. ''_Huh. Pardon me?'' _I could make out every word perfectly clear, but the whole meaning of his sentence was just so fucked up. _''Am I supposed to follow? What does he even mean by soul transaction.'' _

He looked at me, clearly seeing I didn't process anything he had told me. ''Your soul has been transferred to another body. The body you are using now was built up by another person who only had to construct it to work properly.''

My eyebrows rose and my eyes were as big as an owls, all I could do was look at him now that he had approached close enough for me to see his full figure.

He lifted his arm, like showing an example towards me and spoke. ''We will take care of you until you're body is fully recovered and there wouldn't be any physical danger to your health anymore. So for now you should..'' He didn't finish his sentence when he felt the sudden emotional fear that rushed over me and was clearly seen all over my body.

I gripped on to the sheets beneath my hands, that supported my body.

I could only stared at him in fear. My mind didn't know what to think anymore. My mouth was parted so I could get more air in my lungs since I started to feel frantic and I drastically kept my hands in the sheets so that the trembling wouldn't show, but I knew deep down that wouldn't work now. The terrified feeling that I knew I was giving off to the man before me knew, what I felt very clearly. ''_This is not real, this person..'' _ My mind shut off and I didn't feel my body move at all anymore. ''Illumi.'' The name itself echoed in my head a million times, as I had accidentally said it out loud in a whisper.

His eyes flashed a moment of interest, before reverting back to his poker face. He lowered his hand again and walked forward. The only thing I did was stare at him, and the horror I felt inside only grew bigger. ''_don't come any closer..'' _ I knew my expression was clearly showing all that I was thinking and the information of what I knew. I knew him.

He stopped only a few inches away from where I was half sitting.

He looked down at me, and that's where I felt like I needed to run, but I knew I couldn't. My whole body was tense and I only widened my eyes back at him in total fear.

His expression never changed. That's to be expected. He slowly moved his left hand and I felt even greater terror go through me. ''_He's gonna kill me, either fuck with my mind or kill me.'' _He placed his hand on top of my head and I felt like I was paralyzed.

'' Not only do you know my name, but you show great fear in my presence. Does that mean you also know what I'm capable of since your fear of me is so great. Tell me girl, how much do you know and where did you get your information from?''

His face never changed. Time slowed down so bad that I could feel years slipping by. It felt like I was seeing in black and white. My body was so stiff from fear. I knew I couldn't lie, and running wouldn't even be an option. ''_ I'm a bug about to be squashed.. THINK. think of something!''_

How can I explain my situation?

What sort of an answer should I give him so I wouldn't become minced meat dinner to their guard dog.

I didn't have a reasonable explanation,'_' but do I need one in this world? He clearly talked about soul transaction. If such things are possible then explaining why I know him, and about most things, wouldn't be surprising. But then again it wouldn't make sense. Anime tv series? A paradox in the universe? Anything I would tell him would come out as me being mental and he'd kill me off because I still possess information about a Zoldyck.'' _I scolded myself in my head for a moment. ''_Oh Aru, not just one Zoldyck, the whole god DAMN family!'' _

He didn't move an inch while I was trying to come up with the right answer. I could tell he was patiently waiting for me to do so. He saw my struggle. I must of changed my expression at least a hundred times, because he kept looking over different part of my face. Each thought gave out different movements in how my face changed.

His presence was daring. It didn't let me have a moment to relax my body to come up with a rational explanation.

His face became a bit surprised, when my expression turned straight. While I was still giving off the vibe of fear, my expression didn't waver. It was firm on my thought and I wanted him to believe I was serious, even if I was dying inside.

'' I am from the future..'' I answered with a serious face.

He blinked a few times and leaned in, asking, '' Oh, really?''

My expression got gloomy and depressed and I turned my face away, crying on the inside over dramatically. '' No.. sorry.''

''I need time,'' was the only thing I said.

He still kept his eyes on me, but removed his hand. It worked? ''_Thank you god. I can at least live one more day.'' _I said it in a rather sarcastic way to make myself feel better.

''Very well. I will give you time until you have recovered. If there won't be any answer that could change my mind in assassinating you, then you will not leave this place alive.'' I gulped, but while my eyes were still firm in what I believed in, I couldn't help but get goosebumps at what he said. ''_He's more frightening that I would of ever guessed. I mean, I knew his personality was nothing to brag about, but him standing in front of you, with this poker face is just too much for one day.'' _I shook off the feeling of remembering how his twisted personality made him ''special''.

''I'm glad we have an agreement.'' With this said, he turned around and made his way to the table where the papers had been laying around.

I turned my head to the door but kept my eyes on his movement. He sat down and opened some programs on the monitor and started typing. ''_I wonder what he's typing, I heard him do that the last time when I was conscious too, right?'' _I looked down at my hands. Fully going over each corner. My body was younger than what I had been in my previous life on Earth. I looked down on my chest and noticed I barely had a visible bust. ''_I don't know what kind of a body this is, but I'm younger. Maybe around 12? Depends on how fast this body matures I guess. And I don't have any information about that.''_

''The owner of that body of yours was a 15 year old girl.''

_''15?...this body is gonna stay tiny with probably no real curve. But those types have a good side to them too.''_

''She was no one special, we merely took the body and fixed it up after she had died in an accident.''

Was he answering me because I was giving off visible curiosity?

''Some parts had to be exchanged into new ones since they were damaged beyond reconstruction.'' I looked back at him. He was facing me with his back. So he couldn't see my expressions. ''_Nen power I'm guessing. He can probably read my emotion easily being an assassin and a nen user. How annoying'' _

I moved my head to the right side a bit and tilted it back to see the screen. '' Aren't there people who can heal with nen?'' I asked without thinking, being overly curious now that I had soaked in my situation more and became aware of what I could know and do, now that I knew where I was.

He moved to face me with only half of his face turned, and I couldn't help but shiver seeing his face. ''_His so damn stoic, its fucking creepy.'' _His expression was somewhat curious to know how much information I knew.

''You know of Nen?'' I couldn't help but smirk in my head and laugh at that question. My facial expression never changed. It's something I was used to when I actually had a normal conversation with the person, but didn't want the other one knowing of my thoughts.

'' Why wouldn't I know of Nen. It shouldn't be so surprising for you since I know who you are already. I would clearly know of your powers as well.'' I couldn't help but feel a little proud of the fact that I actually knew what he was capable of, since in this world, the Zoldycks were like a miracle to even see a picture of them, little would anyone know of what they were capable of. But was it really ok for me to spur out what I knew? I couldn't help but feel a little proud.

'' That is true, but most normal people have only the minimum information of my family of being assassins. Common people do not have the resources to even find out how we look or sound like. To know about Nen means you need the right line of people to teach you. I am rather curious on who you were in your other life now.'' His stare burned through me and I felt somewhat trapped. ''_Crap. ''_

What was going to happen to me now that I shared the fact that i knew classified information. It's basically suicidal to even know or get close to anything to do with these people. ''_But they're treating me. Means I'm meant for something. He won't do me harm unless I can convince him that the reason why I know him is because he's a character in a show. Oh yes, that sounds absolutely sain Aru. Im sure I would be burned to crisp if I had ended up with the Spiders or someone even worse.'' _I sighed in my mind and it clearly showed that I had forgetting that he was there.

He got to see my weird side again with my struggle of thoughts. I had no real control over my emotion or action so far. But I honestly couldn't give a fuck what he thought.

''And to answer your question, which I don't even know why you asked. Yes, there are people who can heal with nen, one of them being the man who treated you only some time ago.'' I showed clear interest in that, and feeling rather dumb for not guessing it was nen work from the beginning. But i couldn't of possibly remembered, before seeing Illumi. That man was clearly not someone i knew of.

''Illumi.'' I managed to say out loud. ''_Man, it feels weird to say his name, and to actually be talking to this person.'' _He kept his eyes glued to me, having felt discomfort coming from me. ''Teach me how to use Nen.''

His eyes widened, unable to know what to think of this.

''Why should I take such a command from you, girl.'' His voice was cold and it never wavered.

'' Because I want to make a deal with you.'' He had full attention on me when I said that.

'' Talk.''

''_they never back down from an offer that involves benefit, do they?'' _For some reason I was scared, but I really wanted to learn it, and I had clear reasons in backing up my choice of words.

''I know that you're already wasting time into my recovery, but for this to not just be meaningless for myself, a person who woke up into a unfamiliar world, I will be more than happy to tell you of what I know, all in exchange for you teaching me how to control Nen.''

Even though I was half bluffing; Did I really know something worth his time?

* * *

This was unheard of. Me taking commands from a half dead human girl. But she must know herself, that what ever information she has of my family can't go unnoticed. If she recovers and we're gonna be handing her over to those people, it will be a big problem if any information leaks out to public. _''She knows of my family and my Nen powers. It wouldn't be unexpected if she knew more than just about me. She could know much more if she's managed to gather information about us.''_

''What makes you think that I wouldn't cut off your head right here and now for knowing all of this'' I looked at her and she had a small smirk on her lips. ''_She would smirk in a situation like this, huh? Guess she's dauntless enough to know she wont die.''_

* * *

''You wouldn't put any effort into treating me, or even keeping me in the Zoldyck mansion if you were to just kill me off.'' I couldn't help but laugh at that thought. And I can't believe I'm actually confident in my situation. Having this person gaze at you, and threaten to kill you like a bug is not something I'm used to having to hear in my everyday life.

''Plus I wouldn't bluff about knowing more information than you think I know. Where I come from, people live in comfort. People there, do not have any abilities to even live through a stab to the gut. Everyone is equally weak there. So I know fairly well how fast I would die if I even dared to say something that wasn't the truth. I do not plan on dying when gaining life again.''

I was.. happy ? I couldn't explain it, but I somehow felt glad now that I knew I wasn't on Earth. Somehow I felt that what I had told him was too much bullshit and he won't be paying any attention to that long worthless explanation.

* * *

_''Shes happy to gain life? Then she knows what rules abide in these lands. Was she a former civilian of this world then? I want to know who, if that's the reason, then this is very interesting non the less. I didn't think we were able to pull this experiment off this well.'' _

She didn't give off any sign of lying. She was more like comfortable where she was now than when I had seen her before.

'' As much as I am curious to know of your world, I doubt you're going to share any trail of thought unless I train you. Is that it? '' This girl played her cards well. She knew how weak she was at the moment. Even the slightest breeze would kill her, but she was determined enough to put her life in line just to learn Nen.'_'If she knew of Nen and even of myself, why does she speak of another world. Was the place, where she was from, not allowed for nen contact?''_

In the end I would gain information. But would it be wise to hand her over to that organization, if she knew this much? On top of that, she would learn to control what ever power she chooses to train. She would be too dangerous to hand over. I could just teach her about Nen and train her for a while before killing her. I would gain information and wouldn't need to worry about having my familys powers exposed. ''_ I could just tell those people that the experiment subject couldn't handle the pressure of recovery and the body was too weak to continue. Resulting in a failure. But there is the issue of having the resource money delivered still, If the experiment did not end well, then there won't be any profit in this. I would be losing more than gaining. And that will not make father or Zeno very pleased.'' _

With that thought in mind I still needed to actually play along with her idea of training her, and she would live. This itched a nerve in me. This is bothersome, and almost annoying. ''_ It's like trying to play a mind game with Hisoka. You still have to play into his game in order to gain something.''_

* * *

I smiled and nodded. ''I will tell you anything you want to know after I've gained enough strength to find out which Nen class I am to train afterwords.'' I looked back at him and then at the machine that was checking on my pulse. It was all stable. _''There is no way I'm going to die. I know how important the income of these missions are for the Zoldycks. And I know he is not the one in charge for making any changes in this, since clearly, it's been some huge research experiment where failure is not an option. He would not risk losing such easy payment for what I'm asking of him.''_


	3. Chapter 3 - Curiousity kills

**Curiousity kills**

I shot my eyes open.

I could feel my insides stir from anxiety when I realized I had just woken up.

''_When did I fall asleep..'' _I sat up slowly, still feeling my body protest against my weak muscles. I rested a palm against my forehead, feeling the outcome of low blood flow to my head. Everything went white in my vision and it took a while for me to get used to it. I also started to have images in my head of what I had discovered before I went out cold for no reason. I felt a small throbbing feeling in my head and decided not to think about too many thing. ''_My head will explode...I swear.''_

''Do not move so carelessly. Your body is not used to active movements.'' My heart skipped a beat and my face paled in an instant again. I immediately turned my eyes to the right corner of the room where I saw Illumi sitting, a book in his hand. ''_Well its nice to hear you giving healthy advice.'' _

My voice sounded broken from my sleep.''Why are you still here..'' I rubbed my eyes to get rid of the white dots which were still lingering in my sight. My voice was quiet and barely clear. I looked at him, knowing my expression was probably not the kindest, as i just got up.

I knew I looked like I would kill anyone who wanted to talk to me in the morning. Even if I had no intention to do so. Thats just what I have been told most of the time.

''I need to monitor your current state until you're able to move on your own.'' He did not even once turn his gaze away from his book, just turned another page.

''_Doesn't look like you're really 'monitoring' me..'' _I narrowed my eyes at what he said and tried shifting my legs. It felt disgusting to sense muscle movement in these legs which probably hadn't walked for a long while. My expression showed I was displeased with the situation. '' _I can't believe I'm this weak...this is just so fucking wonderful I could die.''_ I was mocking myself in my mind. ''Why did I pass out and how long have I been asleep for?'' I turned back to him.

''I used my powers to put you to sleep. After thirty minutes you started having a nightmare. I gave you a small amount of sleeping medicine, so you wouldn't harm yourself in your sleep. But taking in your current state, the dose had quite the effect. You slept for twenty hours.'' He said all of this in a monotone voice, again, not shifting his gaze to anywhere than a new page in his book.

''_He w-what ?_And you put me to sleep for what exact reason?'' I looked rather pissed, ''_that bastard,'' _but wanted to know why, so I couldn't exactly express all of my colorful thoughts.

'' Your body was awake more than needed. Besides, I do not do things on my own accord when dealing with your current situation. I was merely given orders. And it is fairly easy to read you in your current state.'' I narrowed my eyelids, looking for an answer, as to how I could of looked worn out. Scratch that, I probably looked horrific.

'' You may not have full control over your body yet. You give off visual emotional signs in your aura. That is all I need to read to know your current circumstance.''

My look turned mild, though it seemed as if I didn't care, but I was just not impressed that he managed and had to do this. _'' He's so damn creepy..I don't know how I'm gonna manage in having to look at him..'' _Then I finally took in his information, my eyes widened, ''Twenty hours?!...that means I basically missed a whole day!'' My hands clenched into the blanket while showing my frustration. I lowered my upper body on top of my half bent knees and lay my arms around them.

I relaxed into the feeling of having my muscles stretched after being in that stiff mode for such a long time. I still felt my head swirl from such low physical activity.''_If I was at home, I wouldn't_ _need to worry about such useless things. I wonder what mom is doing right now. Does my body even exist there anymore? Or was only my life energy taken away and I'm actually dead there. If I'm dead then... My mom must be devastated ...and Aya... I cant see her..''_My expression got hazy and sleepy, along with the feeling of grief that lingered in my throat.

_'' ..._Ne, Illumi... Can I go outside?'' I didn't move from my position and only glanced over him from the corner of my eyes.''_ I need to get these thoughts out of my head. I can't keep on lingering on to them, otherwise there won't be a way out of depression. I already have limited energy with this body.''_ It took a couple of minutes for him to lift his gaze from his book, clearly calculating over all sorts of possibilities if that should even happen.

''There shouldn't be any harm to it, but you're not in any condition to move.'' He looked over his book for a moment before closing it and settling it down on a dusty shelf.

I looked back in front of me with my eyes half slitted and the unknown feeling of long hair acting as a curtain to cover my tiny figure.

''What time is it right now.''

'' Close to midnight.''

'' What season is it outside.''

'' Mid summer.''

'' Are the summers warm here where your family's house is ?''

'' Rather, yes.''

''Then I would like to request to go outside.'' I shifted my head a little to look at him better. ''_I need to get out of this room. Even if its only for a couple of minutes.''_

''I'm not obliged to move you anywhere at a given request, nor would I carry out such a task in the beginning.'' His facial expression turned to annoyed and at the same time a small portion of stuck-up stubbornness dwelled in there.

I looked at him more firmly to make it clear and I moved my head up a tad bit, ''I never asked for you to move me, I merely asked to _Go_ outside. You do not need to assist me with that.'' I said it all in a non caring way, like I was the toughest person right now, given the fact I couldn't even stand.

''Don't make me laugh, your effort will only be futile.'' For a moment I swore he was being smug over this subject. ''_You think I'm weak just because this body can't function properly yet? Screw you.'' _I stared deeply at him for a moment before slowly lifting the blanket off of me.

'' Well, I simply made the request to see if I had any limitation to my mobility restricted by anyone else besides myself. Since you didn't mention anyone not allowing me to do so, I will get there by my own pace.'' I advanced to shift my legs, one by one, off the bed. The feeling of cool cement under my feet brought cold shivers down my entire body.''_This body can feel way too well. I'm not sure if its because of that doctor or just me.'' _I removed some of the tabs that were checking my pulse and other wires connected to me. I brought slight weight onto my feet and I felt them shudder when I applied body pressure on them, but did not yet stand. ''_I won't make it far with this weak form. But if I don't start practicing now, then I wont make any progress at all.'' _With that in my mind, I took a hold of the metal pole that had the nutrient bag hanging on it, which was attached to my arm. I still wasn't able to eat any foods.

I wrapped the huge soft blanket around me to keep me warm, since my body was still sensitive to, well, mostly everything. There were hooks and pins lying around on the other side of the table. I managed to take a few careful, shaky steps towards it, having the pole for support. I took a couple of pins and hooked them in the blanket, so I wouldn't need to waste energy in holding on to it myself. This all had taken about ten minutes, and when I took a glimpse over Illumi, I saw that he had rested his elbow on the armrest and was leaning on his hand. He looked bored. My eyes narrowed in the sight of his current form, obviously loving the idea of my struggle. '_'He's enjoying this. Even if he doesn't show it, I just know he is.. fucking sadistic asshole..''_

* * *

''_This is all too amusing to watch. Aside from the victims that I've tortured and later watched struggle for their petty lives to escape from my sight. I have yet seen anyone this desperate to push themselves, knowing that it wont bring them any closer to their goal. Not yet.'' _It might of been easier and faster for her to move if she had slept more, since clearly the drug was still in effect. Looking over her muscles, as much as there was left, she had a rather hard time in keeping her balance.

''You do realize that your're not even going to make it out of the basement level. And it's going to take you approximately five hours to get outside of the house.'' She wasn't paying attention. Though I could tell from her aura that she was rather upset at my remark. ''Neither do you know the way around this house.'' She was rather irritated now.

* * *

''I know I won't make it far,_'don't need to mention something I already know well enough,'_ Those five hours will compensate for my rest stops. And I know well enough that you still need to monitor me.'' Was my pride getting in the way of me? I felt my heart rate rise. I clearly need him to show me the way. I know I won't find a way out otherwise. This is the Zoldyck mansion we're talking about, people don't just wonder around here.

I can't bring myself to ask him for help. It seemed so wrong.

Then again, I never liked asking for help, but I need a lead.

I felt my face tone up a few colors when I decided to ask and I turned my face away from him. '' Please, just at least, show me the direction. I'm not asking for you to waste time in leading me around. I know enough that you have other things to attend to. I can take care of myself..'' I was getting tired of holding my body up and standing in one spot.

Suddenly he stood from his position and moved along the side of the wall towards the staircase. ''If you make it up the staircase now, then I will show you how to get out the safe way. Plus I need to mention, not everyone knows of your existence in this house. It would be bothersome for me if you wondered around alone.'' His eyes peered into mine.

''So you're saying, if I don't make it out of this room, then your deal is off?''

''Precisely.''

Well that sure made things more easier than I had hoped for. I know very well that asking for help is never a big deal, but I never could bring myself to do it around other people. But if I don't make it even that far, then I'm sure to die on my way to the front door.''_Everything seems simpler in my head than reality.''_

* * *

_''She's stubborn. Her personality reflects Killua in a way. When in need, it takes quite a bit out of him to admit to something. This weak girl is no exception, she's going to be hard to deal with.''_

* * *

I felt a little better, knowing that I didn't need to wonder around alone. It would be sad to fall in some trap.

Then I remembered something. My face was completely red. ''_He must be laughing at me for quite a while...what was I thinking.. trying to go anywhere alone...This house..the lightest weighing door you can find here is probably a 100 kg...there is no way in hell I'm even going to be able to get out of any room.'' _I turned my head down, still gripping on the pole for support. ''_I'm an idiot. Why didn't I remember this sooner.'' _

Illumi was still waiting by the door, now leaning against it, knowing it will take me time in getting there. But he probably already noticed how stupid I had been. '' _No wonder he offered to help me so easily, he knew exactly I wouldn't make it anywhere. And now I'm completely humiliated.'' _

It took me a while before I was able to even push the pole away from me. I kept on repeating the motion along with small steps. Always remembering to keep an even breathing so I could save up energy. I wasn't keeping track in time, so I wasn't too sure how long it took for me to get across the room to the staircase. ''_Here's the real challenge..call it a miracle when I manage to get up from here.'' _I pushed the pole to the right side of the staircase. The stairs weren't that wide considering this part of the basement was old, so were these stairs. I wasn't putting any extra weight on them or myself.

Illumis face didn't change even for a second in that period of time.

I was trying to think of the easiest and safest way for me to get up there. I thought I'd give one of those ideas a go.

I sat down on the staircase.

That made Illumis expression change for a moment. Probably wanting to know if I had given up on my purpose.

''Just give me a moment.'' I took a deep breath and settled my hands next to myself. I took a moment before I pushed myself up on another step. That had seemed to work better for me than stepping. I had more strenght in my arms currently than my legs. I repeated doing that with small pauses. There were six steps, but it seemed like a mountain to climb. When I made it to the last step, Illumi opened the door and kept it open.

I sighted and looked at the metal pole which was still next to the staircase. ''Uhm, the deal was that ' I ' had to get upstairs, not anything attached to me, but I take it that I still do need it.'' My voice was quiet and soft, but somewhat pouty. _''No way in hell am I the one to lift that thing up.''_ I glanced at him for a second before looking back at my feet. His face was still the same, but he let out a huff that..'_'was that supposed to be amusement coming from him?''_ I saw him reach for the pole and with great ease, placed it next to me. That amusement left him faster than expected.

''If you still wish to get out of this room then I suggest you get on your feet. I will not be holding this door open forever.'' I grabbed a hold of the pole and raised myself up from the floor. My legs were still shaky and I took a moment to look at him for a brief second.

''Thank you,'' I managed to mutter under my breath. He only took a short glance at me before starting to take slow steps to the right from me. ''_Must be that way.. it sucks I don't remember what way is what..they didn't exactly show a house tour in the anime.'' _

After that I took a couple of deep breaths to settle in for a longer walk. I pushed the device in front of me while taking slow, careful steps to follow Illumi. He was already further away from me and I felt like an eighty year old granny who took a millennium getting across the street. ''_ This is sooo wonderful. I'm gonna die before I even get out of this fucking house.''_

It had been twenty minutes or less. I was tired. I was breathing heavily, but I refused to give in so easily.

My body wasn't tired, but I was out of breath.

The basement was dark as ever, but I could still see perfectly fine. Illumi was further away from me and I could barely make out his silhouette. ''_I need a break..'' _I was already panting and I couldn't even hold myself up with support anymore. I squat down to the ground and raised my head to the ceiling and held my eyes closed, trying to relax and even out my breath. There was absolute silence, only drips of water could be hear from a distance.

* * *

''_There's that one break I anticipated out of a ten, if not more. They will become more longer. For the time being, since father has yet given me any missions, I will monitor her actions. I need to find out how far she can push herself. If she expects me to train her, she should know by now that this will be more than brutal. We train assassins here, nothing less can be expected if one wishes to live on these grounds.'' _Since I sensed her stopping a few moments ago, I halted and took a few steps back towards her. This will indeed take time. I took a moment to notice that her aura was completely nullified.

Her physical state is calm. Did she fall asleep already? I walked back to where she had slumped down and saw that she was just sitting there. Then she got up. ''You didn't need to turn back, I just took a small break. I can continue.'' She recovered better than I had guessed. I started walking down the hallway again when I heard a sound. A door opened further away from us.

''Milluki, why are you down in these chambers at this time. There was no one to be allowed to enter here for another ten days, even you.'' I halted in my steps and so did the girl. '' Tsk, youre not the boss of me, Illumi-nii.'' I could sense her aura giving off a very displeasing vibe. ''_I take it you're familiar with Milluki, since your reaction was of fear and disgust.'' _My eyes were closed for a moment before stepping up to meet Milluki in the eyes, who was giving off, as always, a rather hateful look.

* * *

''Who's the bug,''I felt a string snap in my head, yet my outer appearance stayed weak and emotionless. ''_Pardon mou? BUG? Look at yourself before criticizing others, you fat mule.''_

_''_You do not need to concern yourself with her. She is off limits. If you wish to find anything out, which you clearly will not, then I suggest you turn your attention to Zeno.'' I slowly peered over Illumis side.

The younger brother, Milluki. I knew he was a rather tricky character, him being cold and distant, but the look I received, was way worse than having seen Illumi for the first time. His expression was dark and bitter. If you ever expected him to show a pleased expression, then it would be like looking for a needle in a haystack. Cross over the part on the list of even getting near him. Even though I knew I didn't need to worry about anything, since my existence was clearly that of a 'bug', so I wouldn't be on his interest list.

'' What ever. I'm not interested in this puny human, I was simply retrieving a few things I had forgotten down here.'' He started to move past us while finishing his sentence in a rather repulsed tone. While he passed I tried hard not to make eye contact and just kept my focus in front of me.

''We have wasted valuable time. Move.'' With that one command I saw that he was already far-off. I took a few moments and then started to move myself. I could still feel my body getting exhausted rather quickly, but tried my best to not give into that feeling.''_Outside, just think of the fresh air. They live away from the society after all. Its clean, fresh air and clear sky with a view to the stars. I don't know when I might die here, I want to go outside even for a moment. I've already experienced death. I don't think it will be any better. I hope with what ever i have left in this world, that I will live. I wan't to believe that I have that right.''_

It took me a great deal to push myself forward the last few steps I needed to take, before reaching a huge wooden door. I'm not sure how long it too, maybe around ten minutes this time? I was completely out of breath and I slided to the ground slowly, resting my head against the metal pole and breathing heavily. Illumi waited for me to catch my breath before speaking'' Can you guess the weight on this door approximately?''

I looked over at him and then at the door. ''_It looks like a completely normal wooden door..but its not.'' _I crawled over to the door and slided one of my hands down on it. '' I wouldn't know exactly, but given the size and thickness I'd guess around 500kg, ''_What do they use anyway...do they know what a kilogram is? Now that I think about it, I've been talking in this strange language, but my mind is in English? Is it this brain that still has its communication ability functioning?'' _Apparently I had used some right word, that they use for differing sizes, without realizing it.

'' Almost correct. To be precise, it's 515. Its set to be so much for security measures. This is one part of the house that does not have constant surveillance._''well that makes me sleep better at night..''_ This door should be enough to hold off anyone eager enough to snoop around. But such things do not happen so we've kept it for training purposes.'' He turned his back to me and slowly moved to open the door. For him, the said 515kg, didn't show one bit. ''_This must of been the first time when I heard him talk so much in one go..kind of weird. Then again, most of the stuff he does could be called weird.''_

I suddenly felt a fresh breeze go through me. It felt rather chilly in the start, but I got used to it quickly enough. The door Illumi had opened lead straight to the backyard. ''_I hadn't expected this..why did he mention that it would take me five hours to get outside? Was that just to test my will and see if I would give in?'' _I hoisted myself up gradually and took the last pieces of energy that I had left, to drag myself out of the freezing basement.

Everything that I had to go through so far just washed away. The sound of the warm summer wind carrying around the fresh nature scent was just overwhelming and all I could do was stare out in to the open. It was calm, quiet and relaxing. I had forgotten about Illumis presence and pretty much everythings existence in those short seconds. With the blanket still securely wrapped around me, I sat down on the soft grass that I felt tickle along my sensitive skin. This was perfect. I hadn't felt so composed for a while ever since all of these fucked up events started happening. I felt pleased and I was overly joyful at the scenery that was displayed in front of me. The garden with few bushes and trees was well taken care of along with the forest that was farther away. I pushed my head up to look at the sky and the only word I needed to describe, what I just saw, was beautiful. Since this whole place was away from any city, the sky was clear. ''This was just something I could never have hoped to see on Earth..''_wait...I said that out loud..'' _I mentally slapped myself for a moment for not paying attention and letting it slip out of my mouth so easily. I looked over to the other side and saw that Illumi had rested against the wall, also staring in to the sky and then focusing his gaze on the trees. ''_This is somehow becoming strange and he's not your every day guy who you talk to..'' _I felt myself yawn and I raised my hand to cover my mouth. ''_Why am I getting sleeping now of all times...finally being able to see this..'' _I tilted my head back up and felt myself drift. For a moment I tried my best in keeping my eyes open, but it was futile, my eyes could no longer stay opened. ''_I'm so tired all of a sudden. I guess it wouldn't hurt to close my eyes only for a while...I still need to,'' _I yawned again,'_' .. get back inside..'' _With that said, I had let my body slowly make its way to the ground on top of the blanket that I was still wrapped in.

* * *

**_I feel like this chapter doesn't say much*cries to myself* But i don't want to move the story on too fast. I want to fill in the story with as many days as i can. Meaning that i might write useless stuff that will not cover much._**


	4. Chapter 4 - Interrogation

**Interrogation**

Some how, in my sleep, I was able to feel the presence of something extremely warm. It surrounded me and I felt like I didn't want to wake up, not now.

I was unable to make out what it was, but my unconscious state wasn't allowing me to pay that much attention to it, as to wake up and look. For all I know, I could of been kidnapped, but my slumber was too deep to wake. It was warm and soft, that was all I needed, to fall into the soothing feeling and not care about anything.

* * *

'' It's still unsure on how long her training will take, given her physical form, this will take time. But it is rather admirable to see her so determined to achieve such a task as to learn how to use Nen.'' He gave a low chuckle before turning his gaze back at the man. '' Considering its you, Illumi-kun. I'm sure she will be thrilled, knowing her proposal has been accepted.'' Zeno smiled, hands behind his back, walking back to his table, looking out of the window, his back towards Illumi.

''_She wont be so lively after I've commenced with her training schedule. This is a place to train assassins. If she wants to get anywhere near Nen, she will go through severe physical training first.'' _Illumi was quietly sitting across from Zeno and only keeping an eye on the old man.

'' But I am curious, as to who you left to guard her while coming to me'' He turned his head half way to take a glimpse at Illumi.

''You don't need to concern yourself with her safety, she's fine.'' Illumis voice was calm. He lifted one of his legs over the other and leaned back into the chair. Zeno gave a small grin and closed his eyes, feeling pleased to know that Illumi was confident enough not to bring himself extra work.

''I take it you have yet taken your time into questioning her of her previous life?'' Zeno turned around towards Illumi, to return the attention back at him.

''No, I haven't done that. I will start the interrogation as soon as she's fully awake.''

''Very well,'' with that Zeno turned to walk towards a bookshelf filled with other paper work,'' and is there anything else you wish to know of the situation, Illumi.'' Zeno glided his fingers through some papers, in search of something specific.

''Should I report back to father of our findings and success on this matter?'' Illumi said, while standing up, his back straight and hands on the side, waiting for a reply.

''Oh no, you do not need to bother with such a feeble thing, I will take care of that myself.'' Zeno waved it off with one hand while returning to his table, having found what he needed. ''I only hope, that you can handle this issue yourself, since we can't have people involved in this. Any one of the Zoldycks can know of it of course, but refrain from revealing information. Even if anyone from this family will not say a word, there are those who can still access our minds for details.'' He started writing on the paper along those lines, taking a break to read over every now and then, continuing. ''Though I doubt there will ever be any reason to worry for any of us in a more serious matter.'' He looked up for a moment at Illumi, to confirm that the younger man understood.

'' That is nothing new to what we keep an eye out for already. Do not worry for my sake. There are those who are more careless.'' He looked to his right, where a family photo had been put on the wall. Zeno laughed wholeheartedly remembering the days where Killua, in his very young years, had been a real trouble maker, still is, but less now.

'' That indeed is true, which is why I believe you will not have a problem with this.'' He smiled back at Illumi and stood from his spot. ''You're free to return, if you have found out more then don't hesitate to come and report back to me. For now I will go and have a chat with your father.'' Zeno walked past Illumi leaving the door open for him to follow out of the room. Illumi did just that and closed the heavy door behind him, hearing a lock mechanism going around locking the door tightly.

* * *

I started getting annoyed slightly. The surface I was laying on kept constantly shifting and making movements nonstop. What the hell had I fallen asleep on. It was a blanket right? Furthermore I knew I couldn't keep my mind at peace with this constant moving. I started shifting myself up, rubbing my eyes to get the tiredness away.

It was a miracle I was able to even wake myself. What amazed me more was that I managed to sit up, '' _well compared to last nights little adventure, this is nothing.'' _I needed to get used to having stiff muscles and pains around my body, if I wanted to make it anywhere.

I was used to tolerating stuff if I knew the outcome would be favorable for myself later on. But I was still only human. As much as I could tolerate, it probably wasn't enough, compared to what these people here had to go through.

I was still wrapped up in the blanket, but it was starting to fall loose. I sat up lazily while keeping my balance with my other hand, still feeling myself leaning against that utterly annoying, moving object. I faced the object and lay my hands on it. It was soft. ''_Was I moved to a room?'' _

I tried focusing my eyes. Then I started to notice my surroundings.

I was still outside, but unbelievably warm. I could tell it was morning, ''_was I out again for twenty hours? .. no I'm still outside, that wouldn't be normal..'' _I managed to wipe my face a bit and looked around. It was an early morning, but light enough to see the sun peeking out from behind the trees. ''_Gorgeous, I wish I had a camera. When I get better, I'm gonna request to work, to buy one. I want to be able to take pictures just like in my world. It'll keep me occupied..'' _

I shifted back to where my hands were still laying on. I noticed now, that it was breathing.

I got startled for a moment, not knowing what I had been laying on in such a comfortable state all this time. Was I sleeping next to some wild boar? But when my gaze widened, there was too much to look at. This creatures name was fresh in my mind as the daylight that crept up from the forest above. '' Mike...'' I managed to whisper out in a soft tone. The beast looked at me as he recognized his name being called out, his eyes shimmering in the soft daylight hue. And for an animal, hes hearing was of course topnotch.

The large,mythical Zoldyck pet was right next to me, in a laying position. ''_ Why..is he here... Isn't he a guard dog..who's guarding the whole area if he's just leisurely sitting here.'' _I looked at his face for a moment and realized that Mike was a dog, a very huge, unnaturally strong dog. I can't say I was particularly scared of any animal, but I had a problem with big dogs if I didn't know how they reacted to people. And I was no one familiar to him. I had just appeared in his territory. Was he keeping an eye out for me in case I would wake up and plan on doing something, because I was just lingering on the Zoldyck grounds by myself at the moment.

I didn't dare to move from my spot. All I could do was stare back at his slender nose and jawline, with abyss dark eyes. '' You're gorgeous, but you haven't shown any movement since I got up, kind of worries me..ah why am I even thinking of it. I'm absolutely of no danger to you.'' I managed to say out and then noticing that I was clearly talking to myself at the moment.

Weather Mike understood or not, wasn't shown. I still felt scared in the presence of this huge creature, but he was being composed. Knowing very well what this animal can do to people, I moved my hand along his side, petting his soft fur. My hand was slightly shaky, not exactly sure what type of a reaction might come from Mike. I was careful not to make any sudden movements. But not like I could anyway. Mikes gaze didn't show any signs of aggressiveness. He was just sitting there, keeping his eye on me in case i decided to do something unwelcoming.

I couldn't believe I was actually outside. And even in the presence of Mike. I couldn't shake the feeling that something was keeping him here. ''_It is unusual for him to be guarding this place only...it's not like I'm a threat to anyone, not even to a bug. Maybe just keeping an eye on me so I don't wonder off by myself to cause trouble? Only reasonable purpose I could think of. This beast isn't someone who just stick around to a stranger. He eats them.'' _ That small thought brought shivers down my spine.

''_ I wouldn't of thought that he would let me pet him. Surely he must of been put under strict order by someone...but his fur is pretty neat.'' _I was still stroking his fur softly and wondered off the actual important thoughts. ''_Now that I think about it, wasn't Gon terrified of him? He knows way more about animals, well, any beast for that matter...why wasn't I effected. Am I lacking instinct to know weather its dangerous or not?'' _For a moment I felt useless. If that was the case then I really need to train hard. Being a nen user meant having good instincts and wits. That's exactly what I was lacking in this world. I needed to find a place to study. ''_ Do hope they have a library I can use... I hope I'm even able to read. I need to hope best for this brain. Maybe it still holds some primary abilities since I can talk to these people.'' _

I started going over the possibilities of what I could even be capable of in this world. I knew some details, but it was still a foreign place for me. I knew no one, and no one knew me. And the only reliable source I had right now, were the Zoldycks. I wasn't too sure what to feel about that. Everything inside of me, told me, that this was a dreadful place to even start off at. Especially since I happened to be their lab rat, meaning that, I technically had no real freedom.

I somehow wanted to cry out into nothingness that I possessed nothing in this world, that would hold some value.

I lay my hand steady on Mikes fur and leaned into the soft feeling. I started feeling a prickling feeling in my throat. I felt lonely. I had the urge to break down right there and then. I buried my face into the animal and kept myself there, slightly gripping a hold of a few strands. ''_ I can't cry. This is not what I'm going to be doing_.'' I was still faced towards Mikes side, feeling my eyes sting from the water that had managed to gather in my eyes. ''_ I know I have nothing in this world..heck I don't even know what happened to my real self in my world..if my body is really just an empty shell there, then I'm dead. I don't want to think of the things that my family must be going through.'' _I lowered my head to look at my legs. ''_ And my best friend...weren't we going to travel the world, enjoy new foods and study. I have nothing now. Not even anyone to consider a friend who I can turn to_.'' I felt myself shake in that weak moment. I lowered my hands from Mikes fur and gripped on the gown that this body was wearing.

I was alone in a world I had no real experience in. Like a newborn baby, but with enough intelligence to know of life, but no power to do anything. I had no one to trust or talk to. I didn't even have a proper body that could handle any pressure. I was dragged here in to this weak state, and didn't even have any rights for free will. I was an experiment, who had been locked up in a basement. Still no details to what they are doing exactly. It felt absolutely mortifying.

I managed to hurl myself together and wrap my arms around my knees. I felt a warm breath breathe over me for a moment. I moved my eyes to see that Mike had leaned towards me. He flung his tail around my back for warmth.

I couldn't help but snort at that and smile for a moment. '' Are you feeling sorry for me, Mike?'' As much as my voice could be heard. It was still naturally quiet and soft. That of a small kid, but I didn't find it bad. I raised my hand to stroke him along his nose and moved to the side of his face. ''Thank you.'' I felt slightly better, receiving attention from this killer animal to comfort me.

'' Oh, I see Mike has taken a liking to you.'' The sudden appearance of someone else startled me and I immediately looked to my right, still having slight shock in my expression. But I should know by now, there are only Zoldycks here, along with the butlers.

I turned to see Zeno behind me. The old mans appearance may not have been intimidating, but I knew very well of his capability if he meant harm.

I was clueless for a moment, not knowing how to respond with still the slight feeling of sadness in my throat.

''Don't be alarmed, I merely came to check on your condition since Illumi has yet turned up.'' His look was soft and indeed, that of a grandfather, who would care for a child. I calmed a bit and wiped my eyes as fast as I could and looked back at him. '' Uhm, I would stand and greet you properly Mr. Zoldyck, but I'm having little trouble with that.'' Even though I was able to sit and move. My legs no longer had the capacity to stand without help.

He laughed for a short while before raising his hand in apology. ''Do not worry child, I wouldn't ask of such a thing from you.'' He walked closer, but not to me, but Mike. Zeno lay his hand on Mikes head and strongly stroked him. Like patting a pet who had done a good job. ''Thank you Mike, you can return to your real duty now.'' The creature slowly stood from his spot, took a glimpse at me before gracefully turning around and walking towards the forest.

''May I ask something, Mr. Zoldyck.'' I managed to talk a bit more louder now that I had calmed down, but with my voice still being of young age, it was quiet.

''Anything you wish to know, go ahead.'' He turned to look at me with a calm face, waiting for me to speak. I took a moment to look back at the direction where Mike had headed. ''Why was he here. It's not like a guard dog can leave it's position just like that.'' There was no real reason for this question, but just curiosity.

''Illumi had ordered him to watch over you. I can't be too sure of the details, but since he didn't move you, there must of been a reason. Either he just chose not to do so, meaning he would neglect his job, or there was something you wished of him, to make him leave you outside without protection.'' He folded his hands behind his back while walking towards me, only a few steps closer.

I didn't know how to reply to that conclusion. ''_I had asked Illumi to do something? That would be impossible. But I really don't remember the exact details before falling asleep..'' _I took a moment to look at him and back at my surroundings. ''Aside from giving a request to train, I asked nothing else from him. And even if I had, it seems highly out of character for him to listen to someone like me and pursue to my needs. And I'm sorry to say, but his face creeps me out, so I doubt I would even be able to make any specific demands.'' That was all I could come up with. I couldn't think of anything that would make Illumi freely accept anything from what I would ask of him.

Zeno started laughing at my comment. For a moment I had no idea what he found so amusing. ''_Had I said something weird? or embarrassing? Why are you laughing you old-coot.''_

''Illumi was correct, when he mentioned that you knew well of us.'' He tried holding back his laughter and managed to stop at some point. ''I'm truly sorry, for laughing right now. I have just never seen anyone give such a wholehearted feedback of Illumi in such a honest way. And even lived to tell it. Though you are correct, it still did happen. Some reason had to occur to him that seemed like a good idea to leave you here.'' He turned his eyes at me for a moment before turning around towards the sunrise.

Indeed it was a weird act that Illumi had chosen to do, but at the moment I didn't really feel like this was anything special to discuss about. He must of just not felt like dealing with me any further and had his pet dog do the job for him. That was the most basic, and natural act, I could think of. And it made me raise an eyebrow to why Zeno thought of it as 'special'. Maybe his age was finally getting to him, and he wanted to wonder about everything, that seemed off. ''_ Well, who am I to question anyone at this moment. I'm a huge mess myself..''_I suddenly realized I hadn't given him a reply. Most probably because I didn't know what to tell him.

'' ..uh...uhm..sorry, I got lost in thought.'' I stuttered for a moment, thinking of what I should tell him. I lifted my hand up to my hair and glided my fingers through a few strands of hair. My shoulders were arched up and the other hand lay on my lap. It was something I did out of nervousness, when I would realize that my action might of been rude towards someone. I faced my gaze to the ground before me, and suddenly felt that awkward feeling creep into me.

'' That is perfectly fine. There are still many things for you to get used to after all. Do not force yourself to hurry with the recovery. You will only put strain on your body and that will slow down your recovery since you just passed over the critical state.'' He mentioned all of it while walking towards me in a very slow pace and finally stopping when he was basically towering over me.

I knew there was no threat to how he was acting. But for some reason I couldn't help but feel uneasy with him being so close_. '' I must still be holding that fear inside of me..the last time Illumi approached me in that manner. Must run in the family.'' _His gaze looked horridly dark for a moment, but I blamed the lighting to be bad. I felt my heart speed up and I wanted that uneasy feeling to pass. I gulped and cursed myself in my head for showing such easy signs of being alert and scared. I hoped dearly that non of it was shown, but that was highly impossible.

The next thing surprised me greatly. Zeno held out his hand in a very generous way, still keeping his other hand behind his back. It made a man in his age look elegant and refined. He had a kind smile on his face. ''_ Is he offering to help me? It seems too fishy..'' _For a moment I didn't know what to make of this, but I didn't bother thinking too much into it. _''It's only for the sake that the experiment doesn't get damaged,''_ is what I kept telling myself.

It made me somewhat feel better, because I had always taught myself not to expect anything of people, so the disappointment would be smaller. This time was no exception to my conclusion.

I took a hold of his hand and in one swift motion he hoisted me up with ease.

I did grab a hold of the blanket before and kept it around me, since the morning air was still chilly. He steadied his other hand in front of me to give me balance. For a moment I felt like a small child who was learning how to walk.

That thought crossing my mind made me embarrassed and I couldn't hide the red that crept to my face. I turned my head slightly down so my hair would fall around me to cover up my blush. '' th-thank you..though you really.. do not need to help me,'' I didn't like receiving such pathetic assistance just to stand up. I indeed did grip on to his hands so I wouldn't slump back to the ground suddenly. But having accepted the offer made me ashamed. Especially since I received contact in such a close distance from a person who I barely knew.

I heard Zeno chuckle for a moment before giving me a true kindhearted smile. '' You're truly an honest person, '' he said in a low tone before widening his grin and closing his eyes to give a short laugh,'' but really bashful.''

I had no choice but to pout at that and give him an offended face, turning my eyes away from him. ''_ At least he seems more humane than Illumi. That guy is so hard to approach..wait, why would I even expect to do that..You're fucking crazy Aru. What did you expect to accomplish? Get all buddy-like with him? Yeh right, nice one, stupid.'' _I openly mocked myself, still not believing myself to come across that thought in the first place.

He looked amused and moved aside a little bit, stepping next to me, but still giving me a fair share of balance. '' We need to return to the house sooner or later. Better start now, in case breakfast will be served early.''

With a lot of doubt, I actually managed to move my legs and start walking. Though Zeno did most of the work, since he was the one keeping me up straight.

I had to admit. I was honestly and truly grateful for his help, but I still felt rather awkward. Probably, because I wasn't used to receiving attention. Most of the time, when it had anything to do with physical activity, it was me who aided people, not the other way around. I simply couldn't accept the fact that I could ever ask for help, since I had limbs that worked fine.

Well.. tables had turned now, and I was nothing more than a weak moving bag of bones. _'' So pathetic..I should be grateful there aren't any people around to see this...at least, not anyone I would care deeply enough, to see.''_

We didn't go in from the basement door, like I had come out from. We walked in a really, and when I say really, I mean really slow pace,down a small path next to the mansion walls. Every step for me, was a struggle. And it was probably well seen from my body language. The more I walked, the more energy I burned. And with each passing moment, I felt like I needed to depend on Zeno even more.

It made me feel so insignificant.

While I knew very well that I was a rather lazy person, but I hated to depend on people. I wanted to do things by myself, to know that I am able to handle it. And if ever needed, be of assistance to others.

Zeno most probably knew already, how uncomfortable I felt in this situation, and wanted it to pass as fast as possible.

'' If I am making you feel this uncomfortable, then I can call for a butler who might find you a better way to move about.'' He didn't look at me, which I was grateful for.

I glanced over only for a second and then back to the front. '' No..I ..don't have anything against you personally. I'm just..not entirely used to this.'' Around me, I could see a few stone statues, which were really old and worn-out. Mostly of dragon like creatures or other beings you couldn't really place a name on. They probably hold great value.

There were stone flowerpots with amazing decor and decorations placed around the garden where we were currently passing. There was even a small fresh waterfall coming out of the house wall into a small pond like area that went around the garden itself. ''_This place is amazing..given that they're assassins, they sure do know how to keep their home neat.'' _A small voice in my head said _' well duh, they're whole family has been living here for many decades.' _But I was brought out of my thoughts when Zeno started talking again.

His expression was what it always looked like. Wise and firm, yet calm and composed.

'' What part exactly aren't you used to. If I may ask?'' I looked back up at him, trying to find an answer myself.

''_Everything? Up until now that is..but in other words,' _I'm not used to receiving help. I haven't been in this situation ever in my life, nothing even close to it..so that's mostly one main part that is making me have these feelings I suppose.'' I tried explaining it to him in a clear way.

'' Hm, I see.'' He gave a short reply, like giving it a deeper thought, but I didn't bother with his tone that much. I never had a problem telling anyone anything, be it what ever question that needed to be answered. Either I knew the person or not, providing information didn't bother me. It was the physical contact of a stranger that made me alarmed. In my head I didn't mind it by the least, but apparently my body didn't agree with that. Not in my current state, nor in my previous life.

How ever, there was always a rule I followed, while providing the information - tell them what they want to hear and need to know. Be it truth to the very core, but always leave the most important part of the subjects core to yourself. I could explain in full detail, but I always left out the biggest personal detail that I knew best. I could even play dumb for all I cared, but deep down I would know everything that went on. Just the people around me didn't need to know that.

I noticed that it had been silent for a while now and I tried to redirect my attention from my thoughts to my surroundings. Seems like Zeno hadn't been bothered by the silence. ''_ I'm guessing he's trying to hold back on not being too pushy with personal subjects. Or that he really doesn't care what I have to say.'' _I wasn't least bit bothered by this and we continued to walk, until we finally turned on a corner to the left. There, a couple of feet away, was a door leading in to the mansion.

It took a good ten minutes to reach the door, since I already knew I was getting tired quickly.

Zeno halted and held out his hand, to where I was currently holding on to. '' If you can, just for a moment, please, take a seat while I call someone to open the door for us. This is the shortest way in to the building, but it can't be unlocked from the outside.'' Right next to me was a wooden bench, where I took a hold of from the armrest, and carefully placed myself to sit down on it.

Zeno walked up to a microphone that was built in to the side of the door. He almost pressed the most obvious button for a call, when suddenly the door opened. He lay down his arm and smiled up, still having his usual face on. '' Ah, Illumi, we were just talking about you a while ago. Good to see you present. I almost feared you had forgotten about your priority.'' He stepped aside to let Illumi pass. '' How foolish of you to think that I would forget something like that. I was merely kept in longer by father. He managed to find me when I was on my way here.'' Illumi passed Zeno in a slow pace and came to a stop near the place I was sitting.

'' Today will be spent with an interrogation. You will provide me with the most simplest information. There will be breaks, but not long ones. You need to start building up your stamina in staying awake, or getting you to be active will be close to impossible.''

The whole time, he kept looking down at me with that straight face and it made me wonder, ''_ did he even blink once...? I have a feeling my training with him will be rather strict..'' _I mentally facepalmed, ''_one way it is actually good, since there will be progress then..but ..then again ,it'll be so bad, because I'm pretty sure I'm gonna feel dead tired.''_ I didn't know whether to cry or be happy. They still did accept my offer, which means they expect results from me. _''I can't back off now. But I'm sure I'm going to regret it pretty soon.''_

* * *

**This chapter took so much time. And its not even because its long(which it could be), but because my work got in the way. Every day when i think that '' k, today im gonna finish it and post it,'' but i end up getting so sleepy that i only manage to write a couple of sentences. So it kept on dragging further by the day, but its here now! **

**X And a special thanks to Isa. X**

**To clear up why i decided to make it real life x anime based, is because i believe in parallel universes. There could be a world out there exactly like ours, expect there are still differences. Those differences are those which have no limit to ones imagination. That said, the reason why Aru had this experience, is because of the Nen's ability and different worldly powers that can't be compared to anything of our world. I have a main plot for this story now, which im not going to reveal, so if there are people interested, keep on reading to find out.**

**But over all im overly joyed of what you think of my story. Be it pros or cons.**

* * *

**Just to make everyone remember, imagination has no boundaries. That is also the reason why this story seems out of worldly, because i always hope for there to be something more than just tech and money.**


	5. Chapter 5 - Confusion

**Confusion**

When I had been deep in thought over this huge ordeal, I noticed that I was left alone with Illumi. I heard them talk, but I didn't listen to what they were talking about. But apparently Zeno had to leave in order to 'take care' of something.

It felt slightly awkward to have Illumi watch over me again. Just when I barely got used to having Zeno around, having Illumi here again made me be on my guard.

It seemed as if I couldn't relax around him. Even though there was nothing to be alarmed about, just having him stand near you, made you have goosebumps crawl over you. His presence was definitely on another level from Zeno.

Unlike Zeno's composed and calm manner, Illumi seemed the type of a person to leave you frightened 24/7, because of his way of seeming like a time bomb who would loose his composure if given the opportunity. Plus his face, that's all the reason you needed basically.

I was still sitting on the bench, faced towards the other side of the mansions garden, but kept my eyes on Illumi.

He was typing something on his phone, and it made me remember all those brainless zombies in my world, who would forget to observe their surroundings, while walking on the street. Of course I couldn't say anything bad about that, since I was one of those zombies, except for the fact, that I was reading on my phone, not sitting on facebook or texting nonstop. Illumi on the other hand, was most probably dealing with work. Either way, I still couldn't shake the amused feeling that I got, while thinking of him texting someone for plain interest.

''_That won't ever happen, but still funny to think about, if it did. I wonder, if besides work and Hisoka, does he have any other acquaintances... nah, that would be a waste of time for him.'' _For a moment, while I was waiting for him to finish his business, I looked around to see if there was anything interesting to observe. There wasn't much to look at besides the nature. It's really quiet around here. ''_I wonder what time period am I in at the moment.. I don't know what has happened or hasn't happened yet..for all I know, I could be dragged into some horrible shit if it's still that time around the chimera ants activity.'' _I frowned at that thought and closed the cap I had from the blanket I had around me. ''_That is mostly unlikely to happen though.. Even though in the anime, they didn't show the constant happenings of the Zoldyck family, and I could just be a passer by and die at some point..or just end up living a normal life.''_ That thought alone was a gloomy idea. For a moment I ended up staring into space, forgetting my surroundings and just sitting stuffed up in the blanket.

I was deep in thought. Going through the possibility of them answering my questions. ''_If it's Zeno, then it's a higher possibility that I can find out about things. Illumi on the other hand, wouldn't have any reason to explain to me more than he is asked to do...this is going to be hard. Most of my time spent will be with Illumi...and that guy, ''_ I mentally sweatdropped_, '' I won't even find the time to search out Zeno, or anyone else for that matter, if I'm going to be training. Illumi won't take a no for an answer, and asking for breaks is definitely out of the question. Unless it's me needing to sleep or eat, if even a bathroom break.'' _For a moment I already started regretting my decision in being here. I shuddered at the feeling of getting a cold stare from Illumi if I dared to ask for a break. ''_ I don't want to know the outcome of that.''_

'' Pay attention!'' I heard a loud voice. It startled me and I looked up immediately, feeling a jolt go through me. Apparently he had said something to me, but I failed to notice. Just what I needed.

Illumis expression hadn't changed from his usual stiff-mode, but the feeling I was getting from him clearly told me that he was dead serious enough to kill someone.''_Yes...that exact look right there.''_ I was fully observant now and staring back at him with full attention.

'' First step, if you wish to improve, you have to stay alert at all times. Soon, when you're used to it, you will be able to notice someones presence even in your sleep. But I will not have you slacking off, unless you wish to receive other treatment than what you are given already.'' His tone seemed more cold and determined than usual, and it brought more chill in my bones. ''_He definitely won't take a no for an answer now..'' _I made myself sit up more straight.

'' No..uhm..I'm grateful for what you guys are doing for me. And I definitely wont go back on my word. I will do my best, ''_though I feel like dying already.'' _I couldn't help but cry a little on the inside for having made such a straightforward request_. ''What was I thinking back then...oh yes, I was scared to death and thrilled at the same time that this was real...loosing that enthusiasm pretty damn fast here Aru. .'' _I had that feeling of hitting my head against the wall for taking action, because it seemed like an awesome idea back then. ''_Yea. Awesome. Totally gonna be awesome. I'm just gonna go and crawl in a hole and die.''_

Illumi had pocketed his phone gadget and looked back at me. In my case, most of the tech looked completely ridiculous here.

'' Get up, we're heading inside to start while it's still early. We have a lot to go over.'' He said that and stepped aside, waiting for me to get up and walk ahead, knowing I will take up time in the process. Though I just sat there, getting nervous. '' What's the matter? '' He asked me with no real emotion, but to just clarify why I wasn't moving from the spot. '' uh... well.. I'm not exactly sure why, but I can't stand on my own anymore.'' I expected an icy glaze to go through my skin, but that didn't happen.

'' That was to be expected.'' He kept his body leant back a little and placed one of his hands on his hip and offered me his hand. My eyes widened for a moment, not understanding his action, and I looked back up to him. ''_ Is he serious? or is he trying to see if my weak state will fall for anyones help.. why..in gods name ..would he offer help in that way...no no no.. there needs to be something behind all of this..is he testing me? should I accept it? He's just gonna make me stand and then let go..and I'll look even more pathetic trying to get up from the ground then.. But he's not going to move is he...'' _I was fighting in my head for my dear life. Whether it was a trap and he started his little testing early, or he just decided to speed things up and help me. I hesitated at first, having already given my hand forward to reach out for his. I took a hold and he held it with enough strength for me to try and pull myself off the bench, then giving me small hoist and i was on my feet.

For five seconds, to be precise.

The next second I noticed was the hard ground. My knees had hit against it and my palms were facing the ground also, in desperation to keep myself up from not falling entirely. I felt anger build up inside me, and when I took a moment to look at him, I pushed forward every curse in my eyes and every possible way to kill and torture him. His face had slight amusement lighting up in his eyes and he kept looking at me, waiting to see, if i took action.

My expression turned emotionless and I gave him a cold shoulder, like he was no one at all.

'' Your passion to seriously harm me was incredible, why did you let it fade away?'' He asked me that in all seriousness, and i was dumbfound. ''_What the hell are you blabbering about, you expect me to do something in this state?' _My intent may be strong enough to want it to happen..but not even with my healthy body would I get close to a zero percent change, in even laying a finger on you. Over all it's useless for me to try. That's why I stopped.'' I told him the truth, and while at it, I pushed myself to sit on my legs and let my arms rest on my lap. Deciding that I was probably not going to move anywhere from where I just had dropped. I may of seen things or just blinked at a wrong time, but I thought I saw the corner of his mount turn up for a millisecond before fading back into his normal state. Did he find me funny? That's why he's playing this game? ''_ You've clearly been around Hisoka way too much.. not that your personality wasn't a piece of art already..but that just adds a whole new part to you. Whether it makes you worse or horrible. Hard to decide.''_

_''_ A small tip. Never accept help from someone you do not know completely. Your doubt could be seen from any corner, and that will make you an easy target for someone who can act better, if even needed.''

I sat there for a while in my own little world, clearly moping around the hatred thoughts that surrounded every door in my mind. Illumi stood there, still looking over me. He crossed his arms and shifted form one leg to the other. '' But for now, time is ticking, we dont have all day to wait around for you to get more rest. Get up. ''

I was slightly irritated, but I refrained from making any movements, having my straight poker face on, I just answered him, '' Don't worry, Illumi, we never set a time limit to anything, so technically, there is no need to hurry. I'm perfectly fine in sitting here, until i _feel like _walking.'' I emphasized the word 'feel like' rather clearly to him, to make it clear to him, that even if I was able to stand, I will only do so if i wanted to.

I suddenly felt freezing cold pass me, and it was prickling through my very being. His stance didn't change for even a second, but I most definitely felt his killing instinct, or should I say, blood lust hit me. His aura surrounded me completely. '' I don't think you understand your position here, girl. You're not here to decide on how long you 'wish' to do anything. I have full authority over you, which means, that you will follow what I tell you to do, or ..you're going to be facing much worse than what your imagination can come up with.'' His look was frightening, and probably, if he wasn't an in control assassin, I would be long dead. But his threats didn't stop, '' what makes you think that I will even give you the time to sit around and wait for the day to pass?'' This time he leant forward a little and it felt like your worst nightmares were suddenly all surrounding you, but you couldn't get away, even if you tried for your life. I was completely stiff and I didn't dare to move, not even blink. My heart rate increased drastically. All I could manage was stare in to his eyes, those abyss dark eyes that seemed to have a never ending depth, and not look away, fearing that if I did, the worst really was going to come.

He stood up straight again and reality surrounded me again, no more fear or nightmares, just us two in front of the house. He most likely saw that his message got to me fast and clear. I only noticed how stiff I really was once I noticed how wide my eyes had gotten and, that I had gripped on to the hospital like gown I was wearing, for my dear life.

My expression showed defeat, and somehow I felt guilty for how I had acted. It made me feel small again, ''_I have no power here..what was I even trying by acting big all of a sudden.'' _I relaxed my grip and felt the blood go through my fingers, also seeing my hands shake from the sudden terror that I received only a moment ago. ''_But he fucking made me irritated. Just by knowing I can't do anything, or know anything of this world, he thinks he can play his fucked up little games with me.''_

I knew that Illumi's gaze never once left me, so it made me feel even more uncomfortable, and some how I felt like I couldn't face him anymore. I was being a complete idiot in front of him. ''_Why am I trying to play around with this person. He can end my life at any given minute, if he deems it right that I'm only a thing worth disposing of.'' _I turned my head to the right side, looking down to the ground, not wanting to face reality anymore. I was acting like a complete brat. I was 21 for fucks sake. Is being in this body, really such a turn back on my mental age as well?

'' If you do not move with in the next minute, I will use my Nen on you. Since you already know who I am, I take it that you should know what my power will do to you.'' I didn't feel all that threatened by him with that statement, but being controlled by him was something I definitely didn't want to happen.

'' Very well.. '' Was all I could manage to say to him. I wasn't sure whether I heard my voice studder or not, but right now I felt as if I didn't have the right to speak with confidence. I was speaking to him as if a child got scolded by a big brother, and was now pouting over a small matter, and pushing it even further.

Going over the thought to drop this stupid act was harder than I thought. That means lowering my pride in front of him.

It seemed unthinkable for me. It felt like a huge brick wall was keeping me from doing so. Was I really this stubborn?

Finally giving in to my own will, I decided to try and push myself up from the ground.

I lay my hands on the ground to give a small push.

It didn't have much effect. My legs were quivering and when I actually managed to push myself off the ground, half way still finding my balance in standing straight, I finally managed to keep it together and stand.

''_ Now comes the tricky part..''_

I slowly put more pressure on one foot so I could take a step with the other. I knew it wouldn't work...aand there it was, that feeling of my muscles giving in.

My legs felt the gravity do their work and I already braced myself to keep my hands in front of me so the impact on my knees wouldn't be so harsh like before.

Something hit my stomach though, and from that moment when I closed my eyes when I was about to fall, I opened them again to see that Illumi had supported his hand around my stomach so I could still stay on my feet.

Guess he figured this actually will slow down his interrogation process.

I wanted to push myself off, but I had nothing for actual support besides Illumi, and no way was that going to happen. I was not going to hold or lean on to him so I could walk.

But I didn't actually have to do either of those. I felt the ease and he balanced me back on my feet. Not what I'd expect to be honest.

* * *

''_This will really slow down my schedule if I plan on making any progress myself. Her annoyingly stubborn attitude reminds me greatly of Killua, but I can't use the methods on her as I did on Killua, her body would not handle the pressure, and later I would have to pay for what ever damage I managed to make, to slow things down.'' _While standing next to her I gave her more support so she could at least stand normally, and still kept my hand there so it wouldn't backfire. I had to lean a bit because of her height. She was really small. How was I going to train this person. With Killua it was the same, but I was still growing myself when I was training him. She's had no work out up until now. Her body is like paper. Killua was trained since birth. Tolerating pain and mostly anything. She is raw material who will break if pushed even a bit by my standards. ''_I will make it happen eventually. She will learn to tolerate pain even a bit if she expects to learn Nen, though I'm sure she knows that.''_

I placed my hand to hold under her arm to keep her up. Like helping a child walk. I could sense her discomfort, but she'll learn to live with it, even if she hated it.

I started walking slowly so she could keep up. It's fairly easy for her to move now. Even if I could of just taken her inside, this will still give good progress if she starts using her muscles now. I am not planning to do this forever. She will have to be independent by the next two weeks.

We walked up to the door which was still open from my arrival and we walked up the few steps on the stairs, giving her a fair amount of support so she could walk up from there herself. She looked to be out of breath slightly, but doing better than yesterday.

Once reaching the door she grabbed a hold of my hand with her free one and took a small break from walking forward. She tried to even out her breathing. Most likely to prevent from getting lightheaded. I waited only for a moment before walking inside, basically making her drag herself inside as well and closing the door behind us.

For now she refrained from removing her hand from mine while walking straight in the corridor and up the stairs.

It took long, especially getting up the stairs to the second floor. She was fairly tired and I could see that she was pushing herself to at least reach the room we needed to head to. I had offered a break once, but she refused. Probably knowing that it would make her take her time in resting up. Thankfully the room we needed to go to was not far. We turned right from the staircase and walked down the corridor before turning left and then right again towards a wooden door.

Most doors here were either made form metal or wood. This older room happened to have a wooden one. Zeno explained that the house shouldn't be renovated much, only when something needs fixing. The older generations built more practical and suitable things than now. These are custom made anyway, but point still stands.

I opened the door with a simple design, but which had an old style to it. There were patterns on the sides of the door frame and in the center of the wood itself. They were geometrical symbols. She seemed to be interested in these type of things, which means she'll be able to learn things faster if she likes paying attention to detail. It is always a plus if a person has a good photographic memory. I walked in, in a slow pace, but she decided that this was all the help she needed and let go to lean against the door frame, more like clomp on to it so she wouldn't hit the ground, but it worked anyway and she stood up, at least for now.

* * *

''_ .dead.'' _I managed to get into the room by actually walking. This was something huge in my case. It felt like i just finished a marathon. Last place of course.

As I was leaning against the door I took a good look around the room while Illumi went to the desk up ahead near the window which was half way covered by dark violet curtains. The room wasn't huge, but could be considered big enough, as it looked to be an office.

It reminded me of those vintage styled 90's work offices with leather chairs, wooden tables and cupboards and shelves, along with thick curtains and a rug to cover the entire ground. There was also a small fireplace on the right side of the room. Aside from books and papers and your every day decorations, as in seating pillows, lamps and other items you would need on a table for work, there really wasn't much to look at.

The scent of wooden furniture lingered in my mind for a while, and it made me feel comfortable. My mom always did office work, so the environment for me was like home.

I looked back at the table area and at the big comfortable leather chairs. The chair frame was from really dark wood, along with the armrests and legs, rest of it was all chocolate brown leather. In good condition too, because everything in this room looked old.

Since I managed to catch my breath a bit, I started taking careful steps towards the chair. Thankfully it wasn't far, and I managed to get a grip on the backrest before I could feel my legs giving in. I walked around the chair so I could finally sit down.

I almost fell on the soft material and sank into it, feeling the comfort I sighed out and closed my eyes for a moment. ''_This is heaven, I could stay here for ever..'' _

I opened my eyes again slowly and saw Illumi taking a seat in front of me, browsing through a few papers before looking back at me.

This time I felt as if I was sitting in front of a principal at some fancy ass rich school and was going to get lectured for causing trouble. But well, in short, that's just Illumi and his stoic facial expression. I really need to get used to it.

'' State your name, age, birth and living location.''

'' Aru Gosuto, 15th of May 1993 and my current age then was 21 and I lived on a planet named Earth which has only one companion which is the Moon. It's settled in the Milky Way Galaxy along with other planets and moons and our solar system harbors only one sun. Aside from that I lived in a more northern country in an apartment complex.''

'' What was your occupation.''

'' I worked in a restaurant as a waitress.'' Through out the conversation I could see that Illumi scribbled something on the papers when ever I answered, but his gaze never left mine. _'' He's so creepy in person..''_

'' Who besides you, is in your family and what are their occupations.''

'' I lived with my mother who was a lawyer and my dad who has another family now, he was an artist. My mothers side grandfather was a guard in a popular first class hotel, my grandmother was a world known chef who only worked on cruise ships. My dad's side grandmother was a female limo driver for famous people, and I can't tell you about my other grandfather because apparently I hadn't meet him more than when I was a small kid. I don't remember him anymore. I had aunts and many cousins, but I was never that close with them.'' There was a lot I could still say, but i refrained from spilling everything out at once. I only gave the primary information that he clearly asked with the questions.

'' Given any skill, what job would you do.''

'' I love history, art, music and a lot of different cultures. I would definitely be a traveling historian. If given the freedom to go anywhere where I wanted for free, and learn what ever I wished to know, that is most likely my choice. I would like to learn many languages along the travels to countries that I would be able to visit.''

'' How many countries did your world have?''

'' In the current time there were 196 countries. Mostly each country speaking their own native language.''

For some reason his question turned towards the subject that I was giving answers to, not just his paper essay questions. Did he actually find my home place interesting? But now that I thought about it, this world had way less countries and different languages than my own. There wasn't that much to explore probably.

But it still made me curious as to what type of historical and wild life environmental places this land had to offer.

'' Besides your family, who else did you have close.''

_'' Ah, more random questions, guess the interest part was a fluke,'_ Well, I never had a problem with talking to people, but I honestly didn't care much about anyone. I only had one close friend, and she was enough. I didn't find it important in having dozens of people as my friends.''

* * *

''_She will be easy to train if what she says is true. If she needs no contact with people then she can devote more time into her goal.''_ The conversation was rather fast and she was answering more precisely than I would of guessed. ''_Is she answering in full detail because she already knows she will get what she wants? Or she knows that what she's telling me is clearly not even ten percent of the detail that I would need to know. As far as I've heard so far, everything on her planet is similar but the economic system and cultures.'' _She's most likely going to keep on answering shortly until she gets her fair share of the deal.

* * *

'' What are the most popular historical events on your planet? And have they effected your worlds system in any way?''

Oh, so he is interested and actually wants to find out about things. '' There are many events that have taken place there ever since our planet was created. But I do not plan on telling them all in one go. I can tell you those stories in another time.''

'' What were your personal talents. This will also effect your training, so answer wisely.''

That got me a bit curious. Is there a special way he's going to build up my training schedule if it has something to do with my talent or personal interests? '' I've always had skill in art, for painting and drawing, but I'm definitely not a professional. I've gained the skill of observing things in detail because of my mom. I've gained my tolerance from my dad's mom. And I always finish my work if it's handed to me. I also like doing things by myself, with my own strength.''

'' Are you completely aware of the circumstances that you will go through once you start the training that I will personally prepare for you. And also take note in that, that it will be similar to how I have trained Killua.''

My expression probably showed what I felt. I was pale as a dead corpse. ''_I'm dead...he's gonna torture me?! Oh fucking hell no...but...it can't be complete torture..right? I mean, I'm not a Zoldyck, I can't handle what they can.'' _I felt out of place for a moment and unsure of what I should tell him. ''_ What am I supposed to say, 'Yes please torture me all you want Illumi-sama'?! He better have something more humane instored than torture and poisons...I need actual physical activity..not to tolerate electrical shocks and poison.'' _I looked at him for a good couple of minutes before answering.

'' I'm aware of how Zoldycks are trained, but I do hope you know that that part of the training will have to wait until im physically actually prepared for such brutal treatment'_ You fucking sadistic bastard..''_I gave him a cold stare and received a nod from him, he also momentarily closed his eyes when giving me the motion answer.

'' Now. Considering your state, I was asked to give you information about the body that you were placed in. Your host was a 15 year old female girl. Her name was Shio Ki Leau. She was a well known young singer in the country called Kakin,''

''_I don't remember anything from the hunter world map..''_

_''_Also we will be giving you the name Allika Ziomi. We can't hold any traces of your old name, nor the persons name before you. It will unbalance the system and you will be tracked down by people. Your documents have already been made and if ever needed, you will use them. All living expenses will be covered by us, but we are not a store, we won't be covering your every little need.'' He was talking slowly, most probably so I'd remember everything.

He shifted some papers and kept reading.

'' Also. You are not to set foot out of Kukuroo Mountain area. Even though I doubt that will happen, if you know what's best for you.'' After he mentioned that, I felt slight depression hit my gut. I couldn't leave, I knew it. '' Is there any exact reason that I'm being kept here on this territory only. I know very well that I'm you're little lab rat.''

He was still faced towards his papers, but shifted his gaze towards me with half slitted eyes, then he turned back towards the papers. '' You don't need to concern yourself with that.'' He said and turned in his seat so he could stand up from behind the desk and walk over to me. ''Just know, if you do not wish loose the identity of yourself, then do not move outside of the Zoldyck area. Given the chance, people will come after you. Once that happens, you will no longer be our responsibility.'' He basically shadowed over me, having his hands crossed over his chest and holding on to both ends of his elbows. Illumi had an intense look, like threatening a child, if ever I would give trouble to them, huge consequences will follow.

My look was intense from the information I just received. And somehow I couldn't believe it. This was actually happening. I knew their land was huge, but I was still kept only on this area. And of course they had no purpose to grant me my wishes to go outside and explore.

It saddened me, what Illumi said was true. If what I heard in my half conscious state, that there are people after me and I'm their first successful experiment, then going outside of their gates will take away that small bit of freedom I can still call freedom.

In my trail of thoughts I had lowered my head, but i leant it to the back again to look at him. '' I understand, even if given the opportunity, I will not leave this territory.'' He kept his eyes on me for a short moment more, before looking away towards a bookshelf.''_ I will learn to use my Nen. I will become strong enough and go through his hell training, just so I can live. I do not plan on living under someones control, who ever those sick people are. If they ask someone like the Zoldycks to create things like me... then things will get really dangerous. I will need to defend myself one way or another. But given the fact that they trusted their work to someone else, means they aren't that well equipped themselves. Do I have an advantage over that? Since Illumi has given me a fair warning for my safety, he still considers my other world somewhat of use to him. Though I don't know what information he deems as interesting or useful. Maybe tech? Weapons? Then again, If he fishes out something that I tell him. They can make it happen.'' _I got snapped out of my thought when I got lifted up from the chair. I didn't understand what was going on. I felt panic go through me and I took a deep breath, seeming like I was about to be dropped so I could scream and protest. But nothing like that happened. I had my eyes shut in case anything of the sort would happen, but opened them to see that Illumi was carrying me? ''_What...the fuck...''_

My expression showed disbelief and great denial of the situation. '' W-What are you doing?! Put me down..'' I tried to push myself up and away from his grip. This was so wrong. It felt uncomfortable to the core.

'' Stop squirming. We had wasted enough time, I am not waiting for you to take up another twenty minutes so you can struggle your way down the stairs.'' He had his hold on me and started walking out of the room.

I had to protest, this is just something I couldn't accept. '' I do not care! What made you decide you can just carry me when ever you wanted?'' I was still desperately trying to worm my way out of this embarrassing position.

'' If you do not stop, I will make you stop.'' In that short sentence I stopped immediately. I still had a grip on his hand, as if I planned on rolling off onto to the ground, but let myself loosen up and slump back. ''_I know he would probably use his dumb needles to make it easier..but how the hell does he expect me to accept this shit?''_ My embarrassment could be seen from my face, and my body was still stiff from how I was being carried.

We walked back the way we came from. Down the stairs and turned towards two big doors. I remembered this place. It's the waiting room. I shot a short glance up at Illumi, wanting to see if he planned on ever putting me down or not.

I couldn't bring myself to accept it, but I was getting way too comfortable and warm..It made me sleepy, and that's something I definitely will never accept. I wasn't about to fall asleep in this creeps arms.

We walked past the waiting room that I actually remembered, and through the door on the other side.

We entered a small dining area. And when I say small, I mean small for them. It was a gorgeous and a spacious dining room. The table was covered well with dining equipment, along with vases that had flowers from the garden blooming in them. This room as well, looked old and classy. The windows were covered by auburn red curtains that were tied up from the middle part with golden ribbons. There were other small decorations around the wall area.

Illumi walked towards one of the chairs that was at the end of the table and seated me in it. I was finally off of him. He took a seat next to me and I couldn't help but frown a tired expression at that. ''_Of all places, you really need to sit so close? Thanks, like I didn't have to go through enough right now..''_ I shifted my gaze from him to the table to observe the tableware. It looked like fine china. But obviously it had a different name here. It was neat anyway, and I took my time with that to avoid any unneeded attention.

There was a bell ringing echoing in the next room and my attention went from the beautiful items in front of me, to the door that was on the other side of the room. I didn't understand what that meant so for a short second, I looked at Illumi from the corner of my eye, and back at the door.

'' Lunch will be presented soon enough.'' He said with a low quiet voice. Illumi took out again, his weird phone and started doing his business on it. ''_ Seriously, hasn't he heard of manners around guests, but I guess he doesn't really give a fuck. I can hardly call myself human.'' _I looked over at the scar tissues that went around my arms. I really was like a sewed up doll. The stitched parts were rather red. Most probably since the blood flow was restored, it is now healing. ''_He mentioned that someone put me together..was it Machi? or what ever her name was. She's the only person I know with the creepy power to sew back any part of anything..''_ The bigger question was, if it was her, how did they manage to make her agree to this. ''_Money probably..''_

I got startled for a moment when the heavy metal door on the other side of the room finally opened and 5 butlers came after one another, pushing carts that seemed to carry foods on them. It looked so surreal I couldn't help but raise an eyebrow to this scene. You only saw these things in movies.

The men came to the very end of the table where I was sitting with Illumi, and they placed various food items on the table, along with three different drinks. One being water, I hoped, another one was in a pot and it smelled of herbs, so I'm guessing tea, and the third was a crystal clear red liquid. I couldn't smell it so I had a hard time guessing if it was juice or wine.

There were dishes from meat, fish, vegetables and fruits. Anything you wished to pick to your liking was presented in front of us. I felt my stomach clench and felt huge hunger go through me.

I had the urge to grab anything that I recognized as not too dangerous to eat, but held myself back. ''_I've been given some fluid packs for who knows how long..I can't start eating normal food all of a sudden. It's gonna fuck up my digestion more than I would expect.'' _After everything was neatly placed on the table I started carefully analyzing, what would be the most harmless thing to eat, that would have mercy on my stomach.

I knew I was practically starving, looking at all the delicious foods that was in front of me, smelling heaven.

I noticed movement from my right side where Illumi was sitting, and he was already stuffing his plate with food. I couldn't help but feel annoyed. He was basically just trying to mock me since I couldn't eat.

I looked back at the table, frustrated. I decided to take a piece of bread from the wooden box and cheese from a small plate. I knew neither of them were good for me, but they were the easiest items out of all of the rich flavored dishes. Fruits were out of the question, since they would most likely hurt than help soothe my weak gut.

I took small pieces of bread, almost the size of what an ant would eat, and ate those very slowly.

The only thing that I could actually digest normally at the moment was water. But there was a trick to it. It was in a glass jug, a jug that I couldn't lift. Guessing it was most probably more than fifty kilos. I decided to give it a go anyway, knowing I'll fail miserably.

I reached out for the jug, but before I could even get close to it, a butler from behind me grabbed it and with ease poured it in my cup. ''_I guess I'm still getting service, even in I'm not a Zoldyck.''_

That thought alone didn't make me feel better though. I knew I wasn't able to lift the cup, remembering how Gon and everyone else tried to do that, and they were fairly strong enough.

I sighted out deeply, lowered my head in defeat and started picking out small pieces again to satisfy my growling stomachs needs. I flinched a bit when I noticed a hand in my vision. I relaxed when I saw it was Illumi. But he was holding the cup of water in his hand. '' uh..uhm'' I was clueless and I kept staring back at him and the cup.

''Drink.''

Was the only thing he said. I could feel my face burning up. I couldn't believe he was helping me with this. If I didn't know better, I could of sworn he would drop it on me, but his face never changed, he looked so serious I didn't know what to expect. I pushed myself a little back against the backrest when he moved the cup closer to me. '' Y-You don't need to do that, it's just plain weird!'' I knew I was blushing from embarrassment. How did he expect me to drink like that. The image alone in my head killed me inside more than enough.

'' Be it weird or not, you can't keep on living from liquid nutrition bags. It wont help you.''

My face turned sour, because he was right again. I turned away from him for a moment and had my head lowered slightly towards the ground. ''_This is totally unacceptable..Not only is it weird, it's utterly humiliating.'' _I glanced over at the offered water in his hand. This is horrible.

I wanted to beat something up and scream in to a pillow.

I lifted my hand to steady it around the cup and leaned in to take a sip from it. To my surprise, I forgot every thought I had in my head only a second ago when I tasted the water. It was pure spring water. The fresh taste lingered on my tongue and I felt refreshed. I drank again only this time taking my time with it. I couldn't remember the last time I got clean fresh water like this. I only got it in my summer house where we could get water from a well.

Before I could notice, Illumi removed the cup from me and it made me stare into space for a moment before realizing the cup was empty. A faint blush still lingered on my face from the thought that I had actually done that. I sat back in the chair, staring at the hands on my lap. I couldn't face him, but I knew I had to say something. It took a good long while before I managed to say anything.

'' Thank you for that..'' I mostly just mumbled that to myself, but in that overly silent room I'm sure even a person across from us could understand what I said.

Again I started to nip on the tiny bread pieces in my hand when I felt something warm approach my head. I thought it was my imagination, so I didn't pay attention to it much, until I decided to check on it. I turned my head slightly towards Illumi, and enough to look behind me.

Nothing there.

''_ The heat must be getting to me..or the food.''_

* * *

I kept myself perfectly still and continued to eat my food. ''_I just wanted to pat her head. She reminded me so much of Killua. She's still a stranger, what would possess me to act on such feeble instinct. Is it the fact that shes young and I feel like I have to take care of her, as I did with Kil? No. That's too much trouble. It will only cause problems.'' _I pushed those idiotic ideas out of my head and continued to finish my food slowly.

* * *

**Anyway there you go. I hope this time there is something worth reading. And again it took long because I was on a trip and had no time to write, then work came along and blabla.**

**I'm also happy to see that people are taking interest in this story. The updating is rather slow which I apologize for, but nothing I can do since my work keeps me away for many days.**

**Also I decided to sketch how Aru looks like in the hunter world, which you can see from here - ibedoll deviantart -google, and the picture is under the name Aru Gosuto.(I'd give you guys a direct link, but yknow how it is with those in here.)**


	6. Chapter 6 - A safe net

**A ****safe net**

I knew it. Those foods were too much for me.

I was laying in my bed now, in my new room that was prepared for when I didn't have to sleep in a fucking basement anymore. That was probably the only thing that made me happy at this point. But the aching sickly feeling my stomach was giving me, reminded me of my current situation.

After I ate, Illumi had asked one of the butlers to help me to my new room. He got some message from a maid who came in saying a very important person was waiting for him outside.

I didn't even bother finding out more since I was already thrilled in hearing that I had gotten myself a bedroom. Not a damp basement.

Though the joy I experienced was shortly lived. The bread, as much as I actually did manage to eat it, mixed with maybe one percent cheese and a lot of water, wasn't doing me any wonders.

I lay in bed now, holding my stomach, pulled into a ball, '' At least.. this isn't as bad as having your period..'' I managed to mumble under my breath to myself in a rather pained, low voice. I literally wanted to die. If I threw up now, then that would just put a dot on my daily list, in all that's happened today, this would be the last thing I would be able to manage.

My expression was pained and I felt the blood leave my head. The aching shocks my stomach gave me didn't stop. Each time it happened I thought I was going to throw up. Cold sweat formed around my body and I wasn't too sure how well that worked on my stitches.

I tried to calm myself down. The only way I ever felt better was if I listened to music, or talked and patted my cat, but I had non of that now. I opened my forcefully shut eyes a little that were slightly watery and started singing in a quiet low voice. Noted, that my voice wasn't actually all that bad. ''_ I guess what Illumi said about this girl being a singer, was correct.'' _I took a steady breath before continuing. '' Let the rain, wash away, all the pain of yesterday,'' I closed my eyes once again.'' I know my kingdom awaits, and they've forgiven my mistakes, I'm coming home..I'm coming home, tell the world I'm coming..home.'' The last part of the lyrics faded into a whisper and the words got to me. ''_That was the worst song to ever think about.''_ I slowly wiped my hand over my eyes. ''_This is so stupid, I'm so emotional. Dumb fifteen year old body and her hormones.''_

Though when I noticed, '' Did I..just.. sing in my own language?'' I wasn't sure how I managed that. My eyes were wider for a moment from the sudden realization and I felt the warm tears run down my face when I sat up.

The door creaked behind me and I turned around in an instant. I saw someone cover behind the half open door. ''_Black hair? But the person was short.'' _I sat more straight and faced the door. '' Is someone still there?'' I wanted to sound serious, but my voice was so soft and quiet, I clearly failed.

A person appeared from behind the door, peeking my way while still holding on to the door.

My mouth opened slightly and for a long while, I was glad to see someone. '' Alluka?''

* * *

(I will be using Alluka as a male, as he should be, even though his super girly looks can fool anyone, but I blame their mother.(sorry for the disturbance))

* * *

Alluka came out of the hiding and slowly walked in to the room. At first there was no real reaction, but as soon as he reached close enough, he gave me a big warm smile and lifted his hand forward to present a hand shake.

'' I'm sorry, I heard you singing so I came to see. Your voice is really pretty, whats your name?''

I was still staring at him like all hope returned to me and I smiled back softly. '' My name's Ar...ah Allika.'' I took a hold of his hand and he gave me a firm grip, but not a tight one, and shook it.

'' That's so wonderful! Our names match,'' he said with a big grin on his face. But that faded once he took a closer look at my face.

He suddenly leaned closer and placed his other hand on my cheek. ''_ Crap..I was crying before.'' _My eyes widened and I pulled back slightly, turning my face to wipe my eyes. Our hands were still holding.

'' Was Illu-nii mean to you?'' I looked back and saw concern in his eyes.

'' Ah..no,'' I smiled back seeming a little taken back by his kindness. In this house full of monsters, I was so glad there was someone normal still around here,'' I just remembered something sad while singing, that's all. But I'm completely fine now.'' I let go of his hand and placed them on my lap and gave him a reassuring smile.

Alluka smiled back and tilted his head to the side, leaning forward to kiss my cheek.

'' u-uhm..'' My mouth was left open and I could feel my cheeks heating up. He stood back up and still kept that smile on his face.

'' When I was outside with Killu-nii, I saw a mother do that to their kid. They stopped crying later and seemed more happy.'' He placed his hands behind the dress-like clothes he was wearing and rocked back and forth on his heels. '' Do you feel better now?'' He still smiled widely and kept his gaze on me.

I didn't know how to react. ''_That was so sudden..but, he didn't mean any harm, he really is innocent compared to most people here.'' _I managed to form a smile and nodded. '' I feel a lot better, thank you Alluka.''

''By the way, how do you know my name. Did Illu-nii mention me?'' He sat on the ground, holding both arms around his knees and looking up at me, having a questionable look.

'' Ah, well, it's sort of a confusing story. You don't have to believe me, but my spirit is not from this world. I lived somewhere else. And in that other world, I knew about this people who live here.'' I wasn't entirely sure how to explain it to him. Would he understand and actually believe what I told him? Or will he shake it off as bull shit and just think I'm crazy.

'' Ahh! You're like Nanika then. She's not a part of this world either. No one knows where or why Nanika came from, but Nanika is a part of me.'' He explained in a simple way while placing a hand on his chest, still having a cheerful smile on his face.

'' Are you sure it's alright for you to tell me something like that? We just met, I find it hard to believe that you would trust someone you just barely got to know.'' I didn't want to sound mean or make him go away, but I was curious to know. Won't he get in trouble?

'' Don't worry. I can tell that you're not a bad person. Killu-nii has told me not to trust anyone, but I can feel that you're not someone who would do harm. Plus if you're staying here in our house, means you're our guest, you can't be someone dangerous.'' His smile was so warm and when ever he explained something, I couldn't help but feel safe. Safe to know that I had someone to talk to, without having to worry.

Reality hit me again when I felt the familiar feeling form in my stomach again. I bent down against the bed, leaning my forehead against the covers, folding hands around my stomach, hoping that it would stop. I held my eyes shut and tried to keep an even breather.

After doing such a sudden action, Alluka stood from his position and leaned against the bed side with both hands. ''Allika, are you ok?''

I wanted to speak up, but the gagging feeling I was getting got worse and I refrained from voicing anything out.

Allukas voice sounded more concerned since I failed to answer him. '' Are you in pain?'' He placed one of his hands on my back and kept it there. Giving a small nod with my head he continued to ask, '' Where does it hurt? Your heart, or lungs?'' Thinking it had something to do with my breathing since I couldn't answer, but I shook my head as best as I could manage.

'' Is it your stomach?'' He slid his hand to my shoulder to turn me on my back. Arms were still folded tightly around my stomach and when I opened my eyes, I had tears rolling down the side of my head in to my hair.

Allukas expression showed worry and some what panic. Even though this was nothing big to worry about, I knew the state this body was in. Pushing anything on this system will have this sort of effect on it. ''It'll..go away.'' I managed to speak in whispers.

The sick feeling never seemed to fade though. I kept swallowing every now and then, trying to prevent the gag reflex in taking over.

I felt a hand on my forehead and I opened my eyes to see Alluka giving me a reassuring smile. '' I'll help you, so don't worry Allika. You wont feel pain soon enough.'' I didn't quite understand how he was going to help me. It was just something I needed to get over.

Alluka closed his eyes for a moment, becoming really quiet. I was breathing heavily and tried to keep an eye on him. ''_What is he doing, just standing there.'' _My eyes widened in shock when I saw what had happened to Alluka. His eyes were pure black and he was grinning from corner to corner. I felt my heart rate speed up in the sudden change of the young boy. I had the need to run, or at least back away. There was always something in human nature to fear these type of looks - wide black eyes and mouth, that seemed abnormally big and empty. Like it could devour you whole.

That image was more frightening than I would of thought. Reassuring myself, that it wasn't anything to be alarmed about. It sure didn't do me good even if I tried to convince myself.

Alluka approached me more and placed two hands on my stomach area. His head turned towards me and I couldn't help but stare back. '' I will cure you.''

The voice seemed so abnormal. It sounded like a broken record that echoed in an empty room.

In a small amount of time that had passed, after he said that, I felt warm air around me, it also seemed as if it entered my body and went through every corner and cell.

It was a strange feeling I couldn't describe. Nothing about it was uncomfortable, but it was unfamiliar and I closed my eyes for a moment, feeling the pressure fade away from the pained areas.

'' Aye.'' Was the only thing I heard exiting Allukas mouth before he backed up slowly and lifted his hands from me.

His expression seemed calm and quiet when he closed his eyes and sat on the ground. There was a small thud. I pushed myself up and kept my balance leaning on one elbow to look on the ground. Alluka was laying on the ground. ''_Wh..what happened!?'' _Panic went through me to see him in a collapsed state. I wanted to get up and head towards him when I noticed he was breathing. I observed him for a good whole minute before finding a conclusion in my head. His breathing was slow and a steady. '' He's..asleep..''

Somehow I managed to calm down, having one foot out of bed already, I placed it back on the bed, still keeping my eyes on Alluka.

''_ I guess he tired himself out with that power..never would of guessed it would look so fucking creepy..Just what is he. All I remember from him is that he had a wishing ability...how was he able to use it..i never granted any of his requests. But he did help me a lot right now...I can't say that I'm feeling any discomfort at the moment. I actually feel better than ever, well..as much as I can in this body.''_ I looked myself over, and if I wasn't sitting right now, I would of fallen on the ground.

'' The stitches..and scar tissue..they're healed?'' They weren't entirely gone, but the last time I looked, they were still freshly healing up, now it was but a faint line. ''_ I hope Alluka doesn't get in trouble for using his power on me...If someone sees this, I can't guarantee what might happen. I don't know the rules that they have over Alluka... all I know is that he doesn't just use his power out of the blue. It needs to be a wish, and the only one who's in good terms with Alluka, is Killua. And then still, conditions need to be followed for him to turn in to Nanika..'' _

I was still looking over my hands and feet when I heard the door open fully with a small thud against the wall.

My mood dropped fast as a brick. Illumi stood in the door way looking over the unconscious Alluka. He started walking over to my bed, well, more like speed walked. I still had my hands up in front of me from examining them when he grabbed one of them and pulled me closer.

''What did you do to him.'' His voice was cold and I could tell he would not hold himself back to hurt someone, badly, if I gave the wrong answer.

'' I didn't do anything,'' I protested back, trying to free my hand, but for obvious reasons, it didn't work.

His grip tightened around my wrist and my expression darkened in shock. ''_ fucking...hurts..does he plan on breaking my arm?'' _I could feel the blood leaving my hand and it started going numb and cold.

'' He's just asleep! I didn't do anything! Fucking hell, believe me.'' I almost shouted out to him so he'd understand me. I wasn't planning on having a broken wrist. Though not to my surprise,he tightened his grip and I stopped any movement,

His eyes didn't once leave mine. That made me nervous, because his gaze went from my face to my wrist. ''_ Fuck! He's gonna see..''_

'' Did you ask him to heal you? Is that why he's sleeping here.'' His aura was aimed at me, and he appeared to be so close it scared me.

My eyes were wide as a fish and I couldn't help but shake under his gaze that was being thrown at me with utmost resent.

'' How did you persuade him in to healing you. He doesn't just help strangers in need.''

'' I said I didn't do anything, nor did I ask him of anything! It just happened. Now let GO!'' I tried leaning back to have a better pull on my hand to get it loose. In a blink of an eye he had his hand around the fabric of my clothes and he pulled me closer to his face.

Shock was written all over me. His black intense eyes were eating my soul. I felt trapped.

'' I know you're not lying to me, but you will tell me how you managed to get him to switch in free will.''

I didn't know what to do. Ranting on Alluka was wrong. I knew very well that Illumi wanted control over Alluka for his wish granting ability. But, I couldn't give him that pleasure. Using Alluka for his benefit, it definitely won't be for a good cause.

'' Illu-nii, you're scaring Allika.'' There was a small voice behind of us. As soon as Illumi heard that, he had his normal state back again. No threatening aura or killing instinct. Illumi turned around to look at the sitting boy near him.

Illumi let go of me and I sat there on the bed, leaning on my arms for support.

'' Why did you heal her. You clearly don't know this person. And how are you able to control that weird power of yours by will.''He turned fully towards Alluka and stood firm.

'' I did it because I wanted to. She's a nice person and she was in pain.'' Illumi didn't know what to say to when had his little brother been able to use his power freely, and he never knew of it. His face could of shown confusion, if it was even possible to read that is.

'' I'm your flesh and blood, your brother. Why do you not listen to my needs.'' His voice showed curiousity to this whole matter. Alluka didn't show any other emotion besides being truthful to his word.

'' Because Illu-nii. I don't like you. You're scary and mean and you did bad things to Killua. Plus, Allika is scared of you too now.'' Allukas expression never wavered and he even pointed at me. Was my face that frightened? I blinked a few times, trying to get the last killing aura left-over feeling leave my body before looking at Illumis back. ''_He got rejected by his own brother, sad man..sad.''_ I wish I could of said that out loud, but I knew I'd have my head for that.

Unconsciously I rubbed my wrist that ached and I looked over it. ''_ Fucking fantastic..a bruise. Thank you so much ..Illu-nii''_ The last part of my overly bitter thought, came out in a honey-dripping way - wanting to beat the living hell out of him. ''_ If only..but a girl can dream, can't she''_

_''_ Hm..I see. And what would make you like me more?'' He squatted down in front of Alluka, resting his elbows on his bent knees, and stared at the younger brother.

'' Well first you need to stop being mean to Allika. She's a guest, not someone who works here.'' Alluka stated with a serious tone, lifting one finger to point it out like it was the most obvious thing ever. '' Plus you need to let me go play outside.'' He mentioned in a pouting way. '' I'm tired of sitting around this gloomy house and no one ever plays with me. Killu-nii isn't home anymore so much either.''

I wasn't too sure what would come of ordering Illumi around like that, but I did hope he knew better, not to reject Allukas requests. Be it for granting a wish or not, if Alluka was able to control his ability as he presented on me, then he could cause great damage on Illumi. ''_I doubt that Illumi is that stupid to cause unnecessary changes in his current plans. Having Alluka in his way is the last thing he needs.''_

When I noticed Illumi motioning his hand towards Alluka, I was ready to be alert in any change, but what I saw amazed me.

Illumi carefully placed his hand on Allukas head and stared at his brother. '' Very well, Alluka. If I do well, will you help your brother out? '' It was surely just an act to seem nice, but from the looks of Allukas face, he surely didn't think he was being played.

'' Of course Illu-nii!'' Allukas was smiling from ear to ear. He seemed so glad that his brother was finally trying, but I doubted that it's Illumi-like to have a sudden change of heart towards people. I had the need to tell Alluka how wrong he was of his brother, but I knew If I tried anything, I'd surely find myself on the basement floor. I didn't exactly fancy spending my remaining days in a dungeon.

I had already lifted my hand to warn Alluka of Illumis obvious lie, but I ceaced all action when I noticed Illumis empty threatening gaze on me. ''_...Yeee...about that..'' _I smiled nervously at Alluka, who was living in his happy bubble again. '' You have a very ..considerate brother, Alluka'' I didn't know what else to say since I had already taken action towards saying something to the young one.

Either way, Illumi seemed pleased with my answer. He withdrew his hand from Allukas head and stood from his spot.

'' I will go and find you decent garments to wear. For now, I will take Alluka back to his room.'' He turned his head towards Alluka for a moment before walking to the door. '' Before you can cause any more distress to our goals.''

I felt angry for a moment. How can he say that to his brother. This guy had no sympathy.

He had led Alluka out of the room already and took a moment before following after.

'' Also, Aru, I sugest you rest. Your training will commence tomorrow.''

'' But, it's still noon..'' I sat there dumbfound. How was I supposed to sleep right now.

'' Trust me,'' He turned his eyes my way and stood at the door way,'' you're going to thank me for giving you the extra time to recuperate.'' With that short sentence he left the room, leaving me there with anxiety built in.

'' I am so dead..''

* * *

**I'd like to thank you Isa, for pointing out the small detail of Aru's pic(the scars). I totally forgot to add them becuase it was something I made out of boredom on my trip, and then desided to upload it. But I can add small details to her now that I've been reminded. Though when you've finished with this chapter, you'll know that the reason why the scars will be harder to notice is thanks to Alluka and of course later Arus Nen. I can give a heads up and say that her Nen will be quite colorful because of her situation.**

**But anyway, still hoping for my own sake that I'll be able to upload and write at a normal pace. My work is keeping me from my pc and food QQ**


	7. Chapter 7 - Hard work pays off?

**Hard work pays off?**

''You need to wake up.''

Illumi came in the room, kicking the door open and I could of sworn it sounded like a shout, but that most probably because I was still half asleep, and everything seemed loud. The lights also went on and for a second it blinded me.

''_Way to wake up..'' _It took me a good two hours before I managed to fall asleep properly. And now, when it's three in the morning, when I had found decent slumber, I had this guy walking in and saying I needed to get up.

It took me quite the effort to open my eyes and take a glimpse out of the window. The windows themselves were fairly high, so I was able to take a peek to the sky. It was really dark and I could still see the stars shimmering brightly in the sky.

I was sleeping on my stomach before, stuffed under the blanket all warm and cozy. Though when I heard him I pulled the cover over my head, protesting.'' I on't wan to.'' I mumbled from under the blanket in a very sleepy voice.

I heard no movement. ''_..Wait..never mind, I wouldn't be able to hear him if I wanted to.''_ I debated in my head for a while if I should get up or not, but clearly knew that not getting up was not an option anyway.

I removed the cover from my head and turned my head a bit, still having a hazy look in my eyes.

I jumped and backed away when I saw Illumis reached out hand in front of my face, refraining from screaming. One more shift and I would of fallen on the ground, but managed to keep myself steady.

'' The hell are you doing!?'' I had automatically gripped on to the sheets. Thinking that if needed, the most smartest thing would be to throw the cover at him, duck, and jump off from the bed. But as always, there would be a fluke to that idea from the start. So I had stopped myself from making any stupid movement and waited for an answer.

'' I was going to force you out, but looks like you're wide awake. Good.'' He withdrew himself and stood in front of me, throwing some clothes on the bed. '' You will be wearing those.''

I eyed the garments and lifted them to see them better. They weren't anything fancy, just a normal black shirt, along with a pair of knee length, white and black striped shorts.

'' I will be waiting outside. Try not to take more than ten minutes. If you do, you'll be punished.''

'' What? Why would I be punished for that!'' I had to look at him with confusion.

'' Because you would be causing delay.'' That said, I sat there stiff as a board.

''_He's kidding...right?'' _Thinking that over,_ ''..never mind, clearly not.''_

Seeing no more protests from my side, Illumi took his leave and closed the door behind him.

Placing my face in my palms and running my fingers a bit further in to my hair I brushed it back slowly. '' I really need a shower at some point..if I'll live that long to enjoy one that is.''I sat there for another good five minutes, spacing out, before realizing that the time is ticking. '' Fuck..'' I tried to move quickly to remove the hospital gown thing from me and placed the black shirt over my head. I then grabbed around my hair to take it out of the shirt and let it fall on my back. The shirt fit nicely and it seemed to be even longer and more baggy than I had guessed.

'' But of course Aru, you barely have any meat on your bones.'' I told myself in a mocking tone.

I made my best effort to bend over my legs to put on the pants. This sort of an act could easily be done by a two year old, but for me it was like the Olympics.

The moment when I had pushed myself up on my knees to pull the pants up to my hips, the door opened with a creak and Illumi stood there, waiting.

'' Oh, you actually managed to accomplish this in ten minutes, this will make your training faster. Be glad for that.'' He stepped aside from the door, I guess waiting for me to get out and get a move on.

''_ You just want this over with fast so you can get rid of me. Not hard to tell, but I guess you're holding yourself back since Alluka requested for you to be 'nice'.'' _My expression was plain and still tired.

I let myself sit back on the soft bed and then slid my legs off the side to the ground. But something stopped me.

Having the memory of not being able to stand properly last time, made me think twice. I didn't really see anything that I could grab for support. ''_Great..now what.''_ I sat there for a while thinking over if I should risk standing and walking or not. If it was even a possibility.

I had managed to move while sitting just fine, so what stopped my legs.

I placed my hands on the cupboard that stood next to the bed and held on to that, while giving support to my legs. I managed to get up, but now came the hard part. ''_Even if I was able to take a few steps, would I be able to continue the same way?...''_

Imagining Illumi controlling my body and pushing it beyond my limits made me think otherwise. ''_I'll just push myself, I don't need him breaking my body.''_

_''_You're being awfully slow.'' That remark irked me and I desperately wanted to shut that knowingly moking tone of his. I had the need to stare him off, but I was forgetting my role. ''_ I can't do shit.''_

_''_ Don't rush me, I'm coming.'' I gave myself a push and took a small step forward. I was amazed that I was able to stand, without having a strain on my muscles. I felt completely fine. ''_What did Alluka do...If this worked better than I had hoped for, then Illumi will desperately be after him.''_ Looking up at Illumi from under my hair that was covering my face half way, I knew I wouldn't be able to hide this sort of recovery. I can't exactly fake it that well to convince him.

Illumi stood at the door way, leaning against the wall, having his arms crossed. Still staring with that empty expression.

I let go of the cupboard and stood straight. No balancing issues or shakiness. Though I could still feel that my muscles were fairly weak, but I could imagine that my body didn't weigh all that much to cause any issues for my legs.

I still felt rather stiff, but at least I was able to walk normally. I lifted my hands slightly from my side for precaution, in case my balance would go off unwelcomed.

I stepped towards the door that was left open. It did take me time, since I was really cautious with my movements.

The moment I reached the door handle, I took a firm hold of it and breathed out.

Moving was still tiring for me.

'' Seems that Allukas power did wonders on you. I have to say I'm impressed.'' I could feel his eyes on me, and it disturbed me a tad bit. But I brushed it off not to bother me. ''_ I need to get used to his creepy presence.''_

_''_What I'm impressed over is the fact that up until now you have failed to notice the change in Allukas power. Weren't you always obsessed in getting your way with him?'' I let myself go and after a few seconds I had noticed what I said. ''_ Oh..shit. Why did I say that out loud.''_

Illumis gaze never left mine and I had a feeling like I had just dug my own grave. But what I hadn't expected of him, was a smirk and a whole lot of blood lust surrounding me.

'' You do know some interesting facts about me. It's almost killing me to refrain from torturing any information out of you.''

If it were just mere words, I wouldn't of been effected by him. But his clear killing intent was pouring out of him and that made me back away against the door and out of the room slightly. My eyes were fixed on him and my look clearly said, that if he took a step closer, he would spend the night without limbs.

But of course those were only my thoughts. No action would be able to back up my bark.

'' That's also a wonderful emotion you're giving off. You're scared to death of me, but you have the need to hurt me.'' His voice showed amusement and he had moved from the wall to the door way, still having his gaze on me.

'' What are you, Hisoka? You've clearly been around him for too long. Only he would have such fixed amusement towards something like this.'' I wasn't sure what was right to say and what was not. All I knew, was that I had to back myself up with something.

'' Oh don't get me wrong. I'm not like him, but I do enjoy a good battle if given the chance. But my most favourable deed besides killing people is still torture. Knowing you possess information beyond my reach, '' He lifted his hand and reached towards my face with his fingers. He placed two fingers on the side of my cheek and kept it there while looking at me with those bottomless dark eyes.'' It makes it hard for me, not to gash your skin a bit from each corner.'' I tried my best not to let fear take over me, otherwise I'd be glued to the ground.

If it were still only words which he just said, I would of been fine with it, but the idea of him actually making contact and saying such stuff made me stay in place.

I knew I was trapped like a small animal in the presence of a predator. But still I couldn't help but jump away from his touch, backing away a good few meters. '' Don't touch me..''

I wanted my words and voice to sound threatening, but since I had clearly been cornered in every way, it sounded more like a small child threatening a murderer. ''_Well...that is sort of the situation, he's not your every day human.''_

Illumi still stood there with his hand in mid air, keeping his face where I had been standing.

I was confused for a moment. ''_ Why is he just standing there..it's like someone pressed a off switch on him.''_

I wanted to step closer and see what was going on, but I stopped myself from doing such a stupid thing. ''_ People who go and check on dangerous things always die first...'' _

I decided to wait it out and see if he would move.

I started to get impatient.

''.. Oi...Illumi..what are you doing.'' I decided to speak, seeing that he didn't seem to be a threat. I felt stupid for a moment, having the idea in my head to go and poke him with a stick, but I threw that out of my head the minute I came up with it.

Not knowing what the hell was keeping him in that state seriously made me impatient. ''_It's either poke and die or die waiting. I can't stand forever.''_

The silence grew more with each passing minute.

Enough is enough. ''This will be the death of me..I swear.''

I took one step closer, seeing if it would ascent any reaction from him. There was nothing.

I slowly and carefully reached out for his sleeve and tugged it.

No reaction.

I quirked an eyebrow and pulled on it again. This time there was a reaction, but not something I would of expected.

His hand moved fast and he hit it against my shoulder, keeping it there and turning around to push me against the wall. I felt the air being knocked out of me and I didn't brace myself when my head hit the hard stone on the wall as well. For a minute my vision darkened and I didn't know which way was up or down.

A gasp with a pained sound leaving my mouth snapped Illumi out of it and he removed his hand quickly.

I slumped down on the ground, coughing and trying to catch my breath. I held my hand on my shoulder where he had held and pushed me. His grip hurt.

I was still breathing heavily from that encounter and I titled my head back against the wall, looking up at Illumi.

His face was the same, but he kept staring at his hand and didn't move from the spot. I didn't dare say anything or move. ''_I'm not going to repeat what just happened..what ever that was anyway.''_

It was silent for a long time before Illumi made any movement. He put his hand down, took one look at me before turning around and walking ahead, towards the hallway.

'' Lets go.''

''_Pardon me? Well..what ever. Not like I can expect an explanation from him.''_ I sighed out and slowly stood from my spot, still feeling very uncertain on what distance I should keep. I wasn't about to get my bones broken over this idiot.

''_If I want any progress for my own good, I better get used to it being played rough.'' _ Leaning a hand against the wall so I wouldn't lose my ground from the sudden impact I just received from him, I pushed myself off from it. I felt a little dizzy for a moment, but I managed to start walking after Illumi, in a very slow pace. And also to keep a safe 10 meter cap.

After each five to ten minutes I needed to take a break still. Every time that happened my walking became slower and I didn't want to continue anymore. I was being grateful for Illumi that he waited, but it also made me feel bad. I knew I shouldn't, but it was only natural. '' What's the destination.''

'' The library.'' He answered with his back turned to me and started up walking again.

When I got that answer I felt like I had a goal which I had to accomplish for certain.

No matter how tired I would get on the way, I'd push myself to reach that place. ''_Maybe I'll get to see if I can read something. I still don't know what his training includes.''_

Many corridors later, we finally reached a huge wooden door. It had golden engravings around it and the door handles were carved in to dragon heads, which held silver rings in their mouths.

In that amount of time I kept on thinking about the incident, that had happened some time ago. What would cause him to shut down like that and why would he have a sudden offensive reflex. I was weaker than a fly and he acted as if I was a threat that needed to be put down.

I was tired beyond belief. And at some point I forgot what I was even thinking about. All I wanted was a place to sit down on and have a cup of water.

The only way I kept myself up and moving was thanks to the fact, that there were walls to loaf on. I was about to slide off to the ground, thinking that I can take a break before continuing.

'' Do not dare to take a break, or I will leave you in this hallway.''

I wanted to groan out in despair, but kept myself up and going. When I actually reached Illumi I supported my hands on my knees to take a breather.

The second I had approached, he opened the door and walked in. I still took my sweet time in recovering my strength.

When I finally looked up, my gaze got stuck on what was presented in front of me.

The library was grand. It could almost be mistaken for a whole new building itself.

Stacks and stacks of books were all around. The shelves reached further than my eyes could see. There was a second floor, which was covered by more shelves all around the walls. To me it looked like an ancient, mythical room which you'd discover in a game.

The lighting was rather dim and I couldn't spot any windows so far. There was a staircase further away on the right side, which led to the second floor. On the ceiling there was a painting. It was a huge golden dragon that went in spiral. It was covered in flames and the head part stopped at the place where the chandelier hung down.

Absentmindedly I walked in the gigantic room and had my gaze around the ceiling. Admiring every detail there was to, well, basically anything.

''Don't get distracted. You're going to spend most of your hours in here, so you'll get all the time to stare in awe.'' He walked behind the high shelves that reached at least five meters off the ground and disappeared in silent.

After I lost sight of him I looked around some more while walking around the place. '' _What am I going to do in here that would help along with my training.. .. and why is this place such a mess..I doubt you can find anything in here.'' _I slid my hand along some books on the dusty shelves, not understanding the letters that most of the book covers had and kept moving along the side of the wall towards the staircase.

'' _I guess I still can't read this language. Pity.'' _It somewhat made me feel glum.

I was in a gigantic room full of information and stories, but unable to read any of this. Especially since Illumi mentioned that I was going to be in here for a while.

Hearing the sound of paper being pushed and shuffled, I figured Illumi was doing something. For now my attention was on my surroundings. ''_There must be something to look at. A picture-book even.''_

I walked behind the wide staircase and spotted a hollow hole in the stone wall. It had a red silky cloth covering it and I saw a really old book laying on top of it. The covers were from hard leather and it had many engravings on it.

I lifted a part of the cloth that had covered the book and examined it closer.

Curiosity took over as I noticed the writing on the cover. '' Te..a..chi..n.g.s of o..nes se..lf..''

My face was puzzled by the fact that images of strange letters popped in my head and I was able to read it, but what was more strange, was that I knew this was not the language I spoke with everyone else in this house, or my own language for that fact.

''_Is it possible that... no way. There shouldn't be more languages than what these people speak...right?''_

The real problem was actually that half of the world was never truly shown in the hunter background. There could of been various cultures and languages I was not aware of.

If that was the case, then who ever this girl from Kakin was, she had the ability to speak and read this language. ''_ So this brain still had something stored in. Not sure how much I'll be able to use it for anything useful though. This place is not exactly Kakin. But why does she know this language as well. I basically understand most of the vocabulary I've heard so far. Did she travel a lot?''_

As soon as I wanted to take the book and turn the cover over I got startled by the sudden appearance of Illumis shadow behind me.

As reflex I threw the cloth back on the book and turned around, blocking the object behind my back. In my head I was going over my action and thinking how strange all of this must of been. ''_He lives here...he clearly knows what this book is. Why am I covering it like I'm trying to hide something..''_

I stared back at him. Occasionally shifting my gaze back and forth from him and the book behind me.

''You found something that interests you?'' He asked out of pure curiosity and ignored the fact that I was acting strange for no reason.

''_He's probably used to my random weird actions. Which I clearly wish I didn't have. I still don't seem to have full control over the way this body reacts. I'm guessing this person lacks experience with real life issues...I hope I can over write this system some how. Practice makes perfect? No?'' _The last part in my head was more like sarcasm to myself for even making a stupid statement like that.

'' _No human is perfect.''_

'' I just thought it looked interesting, so I took a look, but so far I haven't found anything useful that I'd be able to read.'' I answered him in my trail of thoughts and shifting my eyes around most of the books around me. ''_I'll keep this part to myself for now. Either he knows or he doesn't. If he doesn't, it's just a plus for me. For now.''_

'' It's because you're from Kakin. The Azian continent has a different system in their writing. But for now, we're not going to be discussing this. I brought you here to work, not for other purposes.'' While explaining, he lifted his hand, holding a book. He lowered it towards me and dropped it.

Out of reflex I caught it in mid air. Thinking it would be a waste to let such old books be dropped on the ground.

I examined it for a few seconds before looking up at him, questioning what I should do with it, since I wasn't able to read.

'' These shelves are labeled by category. You do not need to understand what these books say. As long as you see the same first symbol that is marked on these shelves, you should be able to place them right.'' He took the time to point to a corner of where some books lay, and saw that there was a metal emblem that had, to my guess, a letter on it.

'' You are to look over everything and put them in order.'' I nodded my head to that and kept my eyes on him.

Then the real sentence reached my brain.

'' Wait..you mean I have to look through this entire library...and categorize every book to its right place?'' I couldn't believe what he told me, but I asked over to make sure I understood, and that there wasn't a fluke to my vocabulary usage.

'' No''

I breathed out in relief when I heard that answer, but that was washed away when I saw him continue.

'' You will also look through the scattered paperwork and gather them up. Since those can't be categorized at the moment, you will only need to gather them.''

This seemed unbelievable. Was I really just asked to go through this whole, god damn library and organize every single book and paper I could find? Did I even have the strength for it? Sure I was able to move now, but I lacked stamina. Surely I wasn't able to keep up for long.

This required me to move, plus lift and place objects in different parts of the room.

I didn't know what to answer him, but he was waiting for something.

''Oh and you do not need to worry for break times or when you need to consume liquid and food. You will be given that.'' He motioned his hand in front of himself as an example and then lowered it back.

I nodded.'' Un. But why are you giving me such a task. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. It's just that, you said that I'd go through the training you provided Killua. This just doesn't seem to reflect that.'' It did seem weird as to why Illumi had taken such a weak turn to his plans and go easy on me.

Though when he spoke, his voice was self-confident and cocky. '' Oh no, this was not my decision. Zeno had requested that I make an easy start. If it were me, you'd be training through tears, sweat and blood. Sadly I can't provide that. Yet.'' With that final word he almost seemed sad and disappointed and turned around to walk towards a desk that lay on the other side of the library. I couldn't help but feel disturbed by the thought of what I would go through if I didn't have Zeno backing up on this ordeal.

My imagination was probably not enough to know of the exact details.

'' And a word of advice. The more you accomplish in here, the easier your real training will be later on. Use this time to your advantage. Very soon you will not have so much freedom.'' He stopped in his steps and turned his head to say that. Looking at me really intensely.

I felt a slight chill go through me. ''_I'm really going to live through hell...why did I ever think this was a good idea.''_

''... I'll ..get to work.'' I managed to say under his intense stare.

* * *

**Reviews are always something to look forward to, so I take my time in answering them. Since earlier on, in the start of the anime, Allukas gender was set as female by Killua. But as it turns out on later episodes as well, Milluki refers to Alluka as a brother(also including Kalluto). So that is exactly what I'm going to be referring to Alluka as, a male. (It does irk me when most people think that guys can't look cute or girly. This is an anime. Given Hisokas character, I'd say anything is possible. And not just with this anime)**

**I'm going to use the information given from the source which is the person who writes the story and manga. And I'm only one person, with my own fantasy. If you prefer Alluka as a girl, then there are plenty of stories of 'her'.**

**If it does bother anyone, they do not need to concern themselves with my story. No one is bound to this fic by force- all are welcome to come and go.**

**And for those who are still interested in what I have to offer. If I ever manage, since most of the characters, for example Hisoka, have not been shown of their childhood. I'm going to bring some things in the story regarding peoples pasts who haven't been given the proper introduction in the manga or anime. Also I have the need to draw some people in their childhood years. First pick would be Hisoka. So I hope by the next chapter I will have a drawing of him as a cute, charming young boy.**

**PS: I hope you do well yourself Isa. But I personally think that us nerds do not need to worry about our health so much. We've trained our bodies for a long time to get accustomed to sitting~**


	8. Chapter 8 - Hunger

**Hunger**

''So, Illumi, I received news from Milluki when he was observing the camera footage.'' Zeno walked in to the room. Not needing to see that I was already present. '' Should I be concerned on what happened today? Or will you provide me with the information yourself and explain.''

I had folded my arms and stood aside from the window, where I was momentarily looking out of. '' There is nothing to be concerned of. I was merely not used to having to treat someone differently.''

Zeno chuckled in a low voice at that only for a moment, before diverting his attention back at me.'' For you, it truly might be a strange thing, but I'm not concerned over your actions, what I'm concerned for is that you can't let yourself be read like an open book. I would appreciate it if you didn't let your killing instincts take over so easily. Or would a short mission relieve your stress on this matter.'' Zeno had walked closer, while giving that short paragraph.

'' Are you referring to me as weak and unprofessional in what I do?'' I felt slightly offended.

'' Oh most definitely not. But this whole thing is different than what you're usually receive. Having to communicate with a unfamiliar strange girl is most definitely not something you were trained to do.'' Zeno was facing the window and he let his eyes pass mine for a moment, to see if I had to say anything about this.

'' Then, I will take this time to practice. But I do believe that, this indeed will be a waste of time. Unfortunately for future references, I do think it would come in handy.'' I planted the back of my hand under my chin while supporting an elbow on my other arm. ''Just because I'm perfectly skilled in assassination and manipulation, does not mean I can't polish my skills in other abilities.'' I held my ground, but tilted my head to the side to brush a hand through my hair and let it glide down to the front.

'' Hmm.. I didn't know you were so interested in fixating your skill on other things. Where has the sudden change come from.'' Zeno looked amused by the fact that I had taken a sudden turn in this course. Indeed I was going for a more calmer way of approaching things, rather than finishing something off swiftly. But I had my own reasons.

'' There's nothing to worry about. I'm just taking this turn to have an even simpler approach on people in case my job needs it. I've observed more hunters than you think. I admit that I'm missing a few abilities,'' saying that, I gazed out of the window while I crossing my arms once more, before turning around to take my leave.'' This will make my job more profitable, since most of my targets die in less than a second, unless given different commands.'' I opened the door and stepped out, leaving Zeno in there with a glimmer shining in his eyes. Looks like I'm going to be having eyes on me for a while.

''_Maybe I have been around Hisoka too much. I'm starting to possess his interests in invading peoples lives. But that is only around my clients. His interest clearly dwells around anyone, or anything.''_

* * *

Illumi had left me in the library to do my given task. He was clearly not interested in sitting around for hours at a place where he's probably spent his childhood at.

Watching someone struggle with old dusty books from one side to the other wouldn't interest myself one bit either.

I had to be thankful for the fact that the books were normal, and didn't weigh a ton.

''_ I need to remember to give my gratitude to Zeno. I most probably would be crawling on the ground half dead if he left Illumi at full command.'' _I sighed out deeply after thinking of that for about the hundredth of time.

There was just no way I couldn't jump away from these thoughts. There must of been something wrong with me.

I was anxious and scared to death that it made me feel sick to my stomach. Thinking of what would wait for me ahead, when I would finally be in proper condition to train. But at the same time I felt thrilled.

I wanted the time to come.

I wanted to test myself and study something I couldn't even visualize happening in my life on Earth. The only real part that scared me, was the man who was willing to share both the information and experience with me.

And once again my thoughts distracted me from my real goal.

The task I had been given, was technically not hard, but since I had to do straight up physical work, I got tired faster than I wanted.

The time I had spent in the library was about two hours.

The time I had spent doing actual work, was maybe around thirty minutes. This didn't please me one bit. When I decided to pick up on something, I intended to finish it. But this whole thing with my situation was keeping me from it.

I had decided to start with the top floor. Thinking that if I start with the hardest, it'll be easier later on.

Oh how wrong I was of that.

At first I took my time in finding a piece of paper to write, or more like draw down the so called letters, starting from the closest bookshelf. Later it would be easier to locate the place I need to carry the books after all.

But the carrying part never actually came.

I wasn't even able to empty one bookshelf, all I could manage was climb the ladder and empty the very top one, but left a couple of them there since it was their section.

Not only were there books,novels and all sorts of paperwork, but there were scrolls as well.

I didn't dare open one, seeing that they were fairly old. Taking the rough rope off from them would probably do more damage than needed.

So, with my current plan in starting from the top failing, I had sat myself down next to the ladder, leaning my back against the hard book covers behind me.

I couldn't even count the number of times, where I had stopped, to take a break anymore. I knew there were too many for this short time.

Just when I had closed my eyes for a brief second, I heard the huge library door open. I opened my eyes immediately and perked my hearing towards the lower floor below me.

'' No, it won't be needed.''

'' Are you sure, young master Illumi? They were master Zenos orders.''

'' I'm positive, such action would only be needed if I was not present. You don't need to concern yourself with this for now. You may go do other things.'' The sound of the door creaking somewhat made me more alert.

''Very well, young master.'' With that, there was the sound of the door shutting and it fell silent. I hated that.

I couldn't help but feel nervous when ever that guy was on his own in my presence.

The very first reason was of course since it was Illumi we were talking about. Second was that the Zoldycks were assassins, and their movements couldn't be heard. So it was fairly hard to detect their location, especially since I had no senses nor the use of Nen. I simply kept my gaze on the staircase, while leaning my head back against the wooden object behind me.

I sat there, expecting for the oh so awaited person to show up any second, but it never happened.

Surely he could easily locate me.

Or he just knew I wouldn't need to be checked on.

Either way since I didn't notice any disturbance in him being here, I decided to pick up where I had left off with my work.

I grabbed a hold of the ladder next to me and stood up slowly.

I had been resting for quite some time and it didn't seem like a bad idea to try and climb that wooden monstrosity in front of me.

This person clearly had not been good in physical work before. The higher I got the more tired I felt. I just repeated in my head not to lose my grip.

I had noticed one other thing, and that was a certain balancing problem when it came to height.

I knew myself that, as long as I had something to hold on to, height had never been a problem for me, but taking in my new form, I got a sudden unfamiliar twisting feeling in my gut and my muscles became shaky.

''_This is ridiculous. I'm not even that high up. I really need to rebuild this body's reflex system. Fear for these useless things is so not worth my time. There are bigger things to be scared of...how will I manage that if I'm scared of heights..''_

I reached the top and took a moment to breathe in and waited for a moment before deciding to look down.

'' I'll be leaving you'r..''

'' AGH..'' Illumi got cut off by my sudden scream, just when I was about to look down.

I had to force myself to shut my mouth from that sudden outburst.

His sudden appearance had startled me and I couldn't help but have that reflex.

I then felt a slight shift in my balance and I noticed that in between my struggle and unannounced visit of the man, I had pushed the ladder away from the shelf.

My eyes widened in shock as I realized I was about to fall over from the second floor, no doubt about it, also hitting the bottom of the ground below us.

I reached out immediately and took a hold of the bookshelf's edge with my fingers.

My panicked state couldn't really register what was happening so I pulled myself against the object as fast as possible, hearing wood hit against wood. Thinking that I was still in danger I kept my eyes shut, having both hands nailed in to the edges.

I opened my eyes when I felt steady enough and looked down at the man with anger and annoyance.

'' You really need to announce your appearance! This body has the worst reactions possible.'' I half shouted at him still having my hands clenched.

'' It is clearly not my fault that you are unable to control it.'' His voice reflected cockiness and I huffed at that.

'' Yea, and you're also forgetting that it wasn't me who dragged a persons soul, across who knows what, in to another body.'' I was clearly pouting now. And inside my own head, I knew how stupid it sounded, but I had the need to do it anyway. ''_I'm being such a brat right now.''_

'' It was your own luck that dragged you here. You just happen to be unfortunate to have a soul twin. We didn't drag you to any random body. The body chose the host. Which happened to be you.''

Well that shut me up faster than I had expected.

I had no idea how these things worked, but I did understand it was dangerous.

'' A ..soul twin? So wait..does that mean that I'm in a body that could likely be like my previous one?'' This all seemed so surreal. But then again, what could a person like me know of these things.

'' Wrong. The bodies are clearly different. It's your aura, energy, memories, emotions and soul that connects.'' He had placed down a metal container that looked like the things that waiters transported food with, and crossed his arms.

His explanation cleared up a lot of things in my head that I had been wondering about.

'' So the times when you mentioned to have failed, the second host didn't exist anymore for the bodies you had?''

'' Precisely. And I don't remember mentioning of failed attempts, where did you hear it?'' He sounded pleased and curious, but the feeling I got from him clearly told me otherwise.

I clenched my muscles and felt myself getting nervous. '' I guess..I just heard it while I was half-conscious back then. It's just something I remembered.''

Now I felt really nervous. If this was something I wasn't supposed to know then I could be blabbering out something that could endanger my situation.

'' Oooh? And how much of our conversation do you remember exactly.'' While he still seemed calm and composed, the immense stare he was giving me made me want to run. But I wasn't in the best place for that right now.

He tilted his head to the right, waiting for a reply. ''_Fuck I don't know what to tell him...''_

Every second that I spent in silence, his aura crept closer to me by the minute.

'' If you don't feel like telling me yourself, then you know I'm always able to use Nen. It'll only take a moment for it to happen, but I can guarantee you, that it will hurt.''

My eyes widened from that threat and I ended up holding my breath.

'' I just heard the experiment stuff and also about someone not having to suffer anymore. I honestly don't recall anything else. As I said I was half-conscious only.'' I blurred that out as clear and fast as possible, trying to sound as convincing as I could. I didn't exactly like seeing needles inside of me while still being alive.

'' If that's the truth, then why is your body reacting differently.'' He already lifted one of his hands, holding those long needles in between each finger.

'' BECAUSE, you're fucking creepy and I already said I can't control what this body does! Give me a break!'' I almost shouted that at him, out of desperation.

I didn't lie to him, but I still kept a small part of the truth to myself.

I was never the type to lie to people, but it did matter how much the other knew. And of course the priority that would save my own skin.

My eyes never left his to make it clear to him, that what I said, was the truth. ''_Get it through your thick psycho scull will you!''_

_''_Ahh well if that's all, then we should not have a problem with each other,'' said Illumi with a pleased tone and lowered his hand in a pocket, to put back the manipulative pointy objects.''_Are you saying that only to push my buttons and are waiting for the moment where I spill something, so you could have a more amusing torture out of this?''_

He most probably knew very well that I kept a lot of things to myself by now. Or he mainly didn't seem to have interest towards certain things, so he saved himself time in going through the trouble.

Huge relief rushed through me seeing that, so it also gave me a chance to relax. But something felt off.

Maybe the relaxing part came too soon.

I felt my hands go numb for a moment and I started losing the feel in my muscles. A small prickle went through my heart and I ended up basically hugging the ladder.

'' Oh, and I suggest you get down from there if you do not wish to fall and break something.'' Hearing him say that made it seem easier then it was.

'' Uhm yea, thanks for the warning, I could of used that sooner.'' I squatted down on the step and had an irritated look while saying that. ''_Why now of all times..and yet again, around him.''_

'' You have not consumed any nutritions to stabilize your body, while doing physical activities.'' Saying that like I wouldn't know that myself. But given the time that has passed, I didn't figure I would be needing anything this soon.

This was all way too unfamiliar for me.

I was able to last an entire day without food until I actually felt like I did need it.

The wonders of what a fifteen hour work shift can do to you.

I knew exactly how much I can tolerate of what, and what were my limits. And of course to what extend my own abilities lasted. The body I was using now was so weak compared to that. It made it hard for me to imagine accomplishing anything this way.

Giving up was not an option at this point though.

If I wanted to be able to pull through with an A+, I needed to learn how to take a hit. Right now even a three year old was better than me. At a lot of things for that matter.

'' The day isn't getting any younger.'' I heard the sarcastic voice below me say, and I snapped myself out of those thoughts.

I started taking slow steps down the ladder, making sure none were missed. Still keeping a firm grip on the smooth wooden bars, in case my hands tried to fail me in my attempt.

I was glad I managed to make it on the last step before footing on the ground, because I could slowly feel my arms giving in to the physical strain.

Seeing that I made it down without wrecking anything, Illumi took the metal tray he had sat down on the ground before and started walking towards the stairs. At that point I really hoped he didn't think I needed to follow him.

'' Come,'' he said without even looking behind himself, to see if I was moving or not. He obviously knew I didn't have a choice, only to follow and see where things were going.

I sighed in defeat and started dragging my legs down the stairs. ''_ This better be worth it.''_

Illumi was far ahead of me, next to a table where he had placed down the tray. He turned around to see that I took my final step off the stairs and started walking towards him in a slow pace.

I was not trying to stall this, I merely wanted to preserve the energy I still had left. But I couldn't deny that being near him still put me on high alert and I wasn't the most comfortable around him.

I saw Illumi dragging a chair up to the old wooden desk which was covered in papers and books. He placed the antique chair behind the table, waiting for me to take a seat.

This gesture was fairly odd from him so I took my moment, once I reached the place, to look things over, to see if it was a trap perhaps.

'' I will not be doing anything at this moment. I have only requested for them to bring something edible. I need to monitor and examine, what food items do to your system.'' He took out some papers from the drawer and pushed all other things on the ground.

''...No wonder this place is a mess.'' I then noticed I had said that outloud, and for a moment I looked back at him in fear, as if expecting a book to come flying in my way. Though I was safe.

Illumis expression didn't change, and he only gave me a glance before tilting his head to the side abit to lean on his arm, which he rested on the table. With that he removed the top cover of the tray and there were various examples of foods that lay on it.

Everything looked absolutely appetizing, but I still had the sickly feeling returning to me when remembering the last encounter with these items.

I still took a seat across Illumi which he had prepared and eyed the food carefully. Nothing looked out of the ordinary. And like he said, he was here to examine, not to kill me. So trying out these food items wouldn't do much more than give me a stomach ache.

Least I hope that would be all.

''So how will this be working.'' I took a tomato looking item in my hand and turned it around many ways, inspecting its feel and layers.''_Everything is the same here, mostly. But I still have the need to look at stuff as if I'm on some alien planet where I'm expected to eat slug type of foods.''_

'' You will be consuming these and I will monitor any change in your current state. Even if it's a slightest twitch, I'll notice it and take up notes.'' As he explained this, I had taken a bite from the tomato and still kept eye contact.

'' If later you feel ill or have any discomfort, I will escort you to our infirmary and you will be looked over. Given my notes it will be easier to distinguish what is causing the issue.'' As he was giving me the information, he was already writing down things without moving his gaze from mine.

I took my time in chewing the vegetable and feeling the flavor in my mouth. It felt and tasted like a tomato, so my expression didn't change much. I only rose an eyebrow when I felt that the taste felt so rich and fresh, like I had last eaten a tomato ten years ago.

I refrained from taking another bite, still being catious over what it might do to my stomach. I mean after all, taking a bite like that was already too much compared to the last time.

Did I actually feel my appetite returning? ''_Last I remember, I didn't feel like eating anything. I really need to give Alluka a big thank you. He made things so much easier for me.''_

''Next item. This one has no side effects.''

I eyed the tray before releasing the vegetable and choosing something new. I could almost feel that small bite filling my stomach and making its way around my gut. It was a strange feeling since I had never been the one to live a completely poor life where I had no food.

This right now felt like I've been saved from a Nazi bootcamp and given food for the first time after two months.

I didn't want to go fast, but at the same time I wanted to fill my mouth with these rich falvors as soon as possible. But I kept reminding myself that I was only tasting, and not exactly present at a feast. ''_This will take a while, since theres possibly around twenty things on that tray to eat... and theres still the time where I have to wait and see if they do anything to me.''_

There were times where Illumi would take his moment and actually look over at the paper before him.

''_I wonder if Zeno is doing this to illumi for his own amusement. He's a person who loves to fight and seek out victims..not have a picnic and write papers.''_

* * *

**So I deeply apologize for this chapter, it doesn't cover much, it's more like a fill in for another chapter. But I feel like if I stick this on the next chapter, it would be so long that some things would get lost while I try and explain things in detail. While I do hate this myself, I can't bring myself to skip moments, no matter how small they are.**

**PS: I have also uploaded mostly everyones favorite psychopath in his younger years - Hisoka.**

**You can find the image at iBeDoll deviantart**


	9. Chapter 9 - Moments pass

**Moments pass**

So I still ended up going to the infirmary. That along had taken up quite a bit of time.

It wasn't any of the main food ingredients that put me off. I only seem to be allergic to some nuts. The doctor who was looking me over said I probably shouldn't consume any in large amounts. Unless I wanted to look like a fat Kakin man with swollen eyes.

That image alone made it clear to me, not to even go and try it.

But over all, anything else that I touched or ate, didn't seem to have any side effects to my body. Which only made me happy, because I loved food, and if there was something I wasn't able to eat, then that would mean depression.

Thinking that over, I lived for the experience of tasting new delicious things. I couldn't imagine my life without that. I found joy and pleasure in that, so I was not about to give it up.

I lifted my hand out from the watery surface and rubbed it against my other arm.

I was taken back to my room, where I had been told that every bed room in this house has a bathroom. So I took that time to finally take a shower.

The bathroom was huge, compared to what I was used to seeing back at home.

The window to this room was basically the entire wall itself. But the difference to it was the glass, you couldn't see out from it, nor could you see in. It was thick glass that just made everything blurry.

The window was covered by metallic flora ornaments. Mostly small roses on the edges that had vines tangling around and in front of the glass, which then had pointy silvery thorns sticking out.

Every detail was marvelous and beautiful. They shined and sparkled like being freshly polished, along with the yellow hue glowing off from the lights.

The sink was next to me, but still rather far for me to reach. It was made from black marble, just like the floor, and was built in the wall. So basically it was a giant, heavy black bowl sticking out of the wall.

The tap was strange also. It was a small lions head engraving that has a leaver next to it.

I hadn't tried it yet, but I was guessing, that's what you had to pull for the water to come out. ''_I swear some things in this house are just, what the fuck.''_

The room itself was rather warm. ''_Central heating most likely.''_ And the rest of the walls were from thick dark stone.

The bathtub was a normal round shape, made from white marble. So I had to be extra careful in getting out and not slipping.

Looking through the closets or what might lead through the other doors, never occurred to me before. The first time I ended up in this room, I wasn't exactly in the best shape. So getting up and doing anything else besides laying in the bed, was out of the question.

But I slowly started getting used to moving around. I guess looking around the place eventually wouldn't hurt.

I was slowly starting to feel chilly since I was advised not to take a completely warm bath. Considering my body weight, and still a rather low blood flow, it was best that I didn't soak in a hot tub for too long.

Suddenly collapsing in the shower, wasn't exactly something I wanted to add to my list. I'd rather stick to cold water and later just wash over with a bit higher temperature.

Sinking in to my thoughts, and lowering myself back til my ears were below the surface made me listen to the small ripples that echoed in the tub.

It got quiet.

I lifted my hand out of the water completely above me, and stretched it out, like trying to reach the ceiling. I ran my eyes over my hand. Every corner. Every small detail.

I was skinny.

That thought alone saddened me greatly.

I was even skinnier than some people who I used to see on the streets. And even then I was repelled by the sight. Considering those people were more normal.

A person should have meat on their bones, not just skin. The smallest hit could cause you so much damage this way, how was someone like me supposed to protect themselves in such a world. ''It's so easy to get a bone fracture this way. Or to just die.''

I turned my head to the left a little, to look at the wall, where stood a long wide mirror. I eyed every corner of it before stopping at my reflection.

Moving up and leaning both my arms on the edge of the tub, I took the time to rest my head on them, and stared at the so called Me.

I made a couple of movements with my head, changing its pose every now and then, to take a look at my face from every angle.

'' God I look horrific...How was Alluka able to look at me and not be creeped out. This is clearly not what a normal person would look like.'' I took one last glance before leaning back and laying against the tub. ''_Heck even Illumis face is more decent than this.'' _

I huffed to myself after thinking of that and had a smug smile spread across my face. ''_Now I know how bad it is if I think that even his face is better than mine.''_

Before getting in the tub I had taken a full examination of my new body. I found nothing to admire about it. It was just that bad. Every corner you could see _some _bone sticking out.

The only thing I could cheer myself up with, was the thought that at some point, I could start up with normal, everyday activities. Then this repulsive state of mine would change and I could finally take steps towards an actual goal.

I started having constant chills running up my back and arms. Think I sat around long enough for today.

I placed my hands on both sides of the tub and stood up slowly, making sure my feet were steady on the slippery stone surface.

I unplugged the tub so the uncleanly, cold water would slowly disappear through the hole. I waited a moment before lowering the huge, round showering mechanism above my head that spread widely around. I couldn't help but wonder, how the designing managements of this world saw these contraptions as modern.

There were buttons on the side that had icons on them, that showed the temperature and which water pressure option to choose from.

I upped the temperature from what I had adjusted to before and picked the lowest pressure setting. Turning a small leaver made it automatically turn on the shower, and I had to shiver at the sudden touch of warm water against my now cold skin.

There were two small bowls put on the wall, that both had a sign on them. Leaning closer I could tell they were soapy liquids, but it was hard to tell which was used for hair and the other for the whole body.

Overall it didn't matter much, but the fact that I couldn't read the signs still upset me.

I lifted a hand to feel around in the bowl with my fingers, to see what the texture would be like. And decided that the more thicker substance which smelled like honey would do as shampoo.

Taking a good amount of it in my palm and rubbing it in my hair seemed to confirm me of my thoughts. It started to foam quite a bit as the water hit my head.

Bubbles started to surface and fly about.

It was a strange thing to see, but amusing at the same time.

Still having one hand in my hair, I reached out with the other towards the small floating bubble just as it burst in front of me.

A small smile was displayed on my face when I started doing that to most of the other ones.

Soon I just forgot myself completely as I was literally chasing after the bubbles with my hands. In that small moment I felt joy fill my mind, and I felt like I was able to let go.

Not really knowing from what I had that sudden release of emotion, I could only enjoy what I had at that current moment.

Then I regained my thoughts and went over my action. ''_T-this must of looked completely stupid from someone elses view.''_ For a moment I felt glad that there had formed so many bubbles to cover mostly anything, even half of my body was covered in them by now.

That's when I got more alert and stood up as fast as I could. The foam was getting out of control and started going all over the place, literally.

'' I think.. is this bath soap?..'' For some reason that idea had not crossed my mind. The last time I played with soapbubbles, was when I was around six. After that age I forgot such soap existed, because we renovated the bathroom to only having a showercorner.

So now I was standing in a dark creepy bathroom, completely covered with foam. Not to mention that there were still several soapbubbles floating around and bouncing against eachother and mostly anything else.

When I noticed that I slowly started to get completely covered by the sudden foam attack, I started to dig my way out of the bathtub.

I took careful steps to find the ground since everything was already covered, and managed to climb out of the tub. I still had to shovel my way through the room since I didn't exactly want to trip over something I might of forgotten.

'' Why the hell is there so much foam. I don't remember taking that much soap in the first place.'' I looked around with a confusion, while heading towards the door.

''Don't tell me..'' I realized something small I accidentally did while I had entered my energetic state in the tub. I looked over my shoulder to see that the shower water had been turned towards the wall where the bowls were.

I grunted at that and could only sweatdrop. '' Ugh...really now? On both bowl too. Man, what the hell.'' I let my arms limp down in defeat after seeing that.

While still having my gaze over the never ending foam machines, I started walking back towards the door when I heard the wooden object behind me open.

I stopped in my tracks and slowly turned my head. ''_Please don't be Illumi. Please don't be Ill...umi.''_ When my eyes finally met the person in front of me, all my high spirit dropped like a cannonball.

''Hmm. Uh. Heh, hi.'' I was lost in what to say, seeing as the entire place was overflowing with foam and having bubbles flying around.

Those familiar black eyes stared right back at me and I couldn't help but huff a laugh, as if showing that everything was peachy.

'' And here I thought I could leave you without surveillance.'' He eyed the room and backed away sowly when he noticed that the bubbles were massively struggling out of the bathroom by now.

'' It was fine until I didn't know which soap to choose from..and..it just..ended up being ..too ..soapy?'' As the sentence went on, the more I lowered my voice. Not liking the intense stare I was getting from Illumi.

''..''

His silence didn't make things seem any better and it only made me think of the worst outcome of this.

At that moment I did suddenly remember that I was still in a bathroom, not only moments ago, taking a shower. I felt a jolt going through my heart and I felt panic rise in my gut.

'' Ah..but I'll totally clean it up so you don't have to worry about the furnishing. I just need a bit of time, and everything will..well, hopefully be good as new.'' I stuttered a couple of times,planting a worried smile on my face and as I was finishing my sentence, I already took the time to scatter near the door and close it. Leaving Illumi to stand on the other side. ''Now that you mention, weren't _all_ the doors in this place heavy? Why could I move this.'' With that lingering in my mind for a while, I just guessed they changed it out. I don't think anyone would find it a fun hobby in helping me open and close the door when ever I needed to go.

With no further sound escalating, besides the running water and the foamy bubbles, witch were still venturing around the place.

''_I had almost forgotten that I was completely nude...NOT that it would matter to him. He most likely saw this body in more exposed conditions. Such as my insides. Very cute.''_ Concluding in that small dilemma my mind and body were having, I took the time to think of a way to get rid of the foam. Something more distracting would do the trick.

''Water...right, I need to stop that first.'' Roaming around through the foam turned out harder, since I was quite short compared to the constant rising mass. I still managed to make my way to the shower. And with a little help by leaning on the edge of the tub, I managed to pull the leaver and stop the running.

It turned silent and I had the reflex to huff and sneeze from all the foam that had gathered in my face with the sudden struggle.

I wiped my hands over my face and turned to look around the room. ''This..might take a while.''

I didn't exactly know where to start from.

I knew that I couldn't exactly just take the foam and throw it out. Did I really have to wait for it to disappear. ''_Oh boy..This place will be a soap paradise once everything clears up.''_

I could only imagine the joy in cleaning this place up. Thankfully the foam rose up only to a level where I was still able to reach.

Though I knew one way to get rid of it. As a child, this would annoy most.

Since the airy substance was a fun toy for most in ones cleansing activity in the bathroom, it did annoy you quite a bit when it would constantly reduce, because of the nonstop playful actions.

In those moments you really did wish that you had a room full of it.

So the only thing that came to my mind, was to go around the place and dig my hands in the soft mass.

Thankfully that action had helped greatly, and after I was done gathering up the almost last bit of foam in my palm, I planted it in my hair, remembering that I had still failed to rinse it.

I climbed back in the shower and upped the temperature a bit more than what I had chosen before, since my body was quite warmed up now.

I moved the mechanism above my head and turned it on.

This time though, having the warm water run down my hair and skin, felt most pleasant.

I had to move my hair constantly while washing the soap out though. _''After this, I'm so cutting my hair. I can't work with this, and it's going to be a bother taking care of it. This girl must of had a lot of time in her hand to take care of all this hair.''_

I made sure that every corner was well washed, and I was careful when going over the scar tissue. It didn't hurt, but I was still very attentive to this new body. I was still rather scared that something would reopen, and I doubt that that would be something enjoyable.

I took a couple of minutes more to just sit under the cozy warm water before turning it off and stepping out of the tub to go out of the bathroom.

At first when opening the door, I peeked out to my current room, to see if anyone was present, but it was safe to say that I was alone. ''_ At least for now, no one will see this mess.''_

I got out and started looking for a towel to dry myself off.

''_All these drawers and shelves and only one towel. Well what ever, at least there is one.''_ I took my time in drying off my skin, again being careful for the most obvious parts: wrists, arms, stomach, neck, legs and knees. Other places were the so called - non danger zones.

After being done with that, I wrapped the towel around me. It was seemingly big enough to cover up a full grown man. So for me it was like a huge blanket. But I couldn't complain, it was rather warm and soft.

I went over to my bed and fell on it backwards. God it felt good to lay down.

Knowing I still had a bathroom to clean made me even more tired and I closed my eyes to push that bothersome feeling away. ''_I'm so tired..laying down was probably not the best idea right now. I feel like I might fall asleep if I don't get up. But it feels so good.''_

I felt my body relax and resting my feet from all the standing made me want to get up even less.

I opened my eyes and pushed myself up with a small grunt. ''_I don't have any clean clothes here...and the ones I had are completely soaked.''_ I looked around the room, remembering that non of the drawers or closets had anything wearable.

''Well...I wont be leaving this room for a while I guess..'' knowing very well that I wasn't able to get out of here by myself anyway.

My attention turned towards the door when I heard it creak open slowly and I noticed a familiar clothing sleeve snake its way through to grab on to the frame.

Alluka peeked in and his face lit up when he saw me sitting in the room.

'' Allika! You're here!'' He exclaimed in delight and shot the door open and basically jumped in the room. He speedwalked towards the bed I was sitting on and blopped down on it himself swinging his feet.

'' Are you ok Allika? I heard Illu-nii talking to one of the butlers about you causing trouble. What did you do?'' His excitement couldn't be overlooked, being curious and happy at the same time.

'' Ah..that _little_ accident. Well...the bathroom was just overflowing with soapfoam so..things got out of control a bit. But it's totally fine now! I just need to wash over the place with water and it'll be good as new.'' I waved a hand in front of me as if it was nothing and smiled stupidly.

''Waaah! That must of been fun. Too bad Illu-nii is so cranky about it. I never see him do fun things, he just does his boring missions.'' Alluka pouted at that remark. Clearly disappointed in having such an uptight brother.

But you couldn't blame him. He was raised by Silva, he's not exactly what you would call a mainstream, loving father. ''_How much does Alluka know, what they actually do. Calling assassination boring is somewhat..like he would consider it normal.''_

'' I'm sure it can't be helped, Alluka. Illumi has to listen to his elders after all. I don't think it's something you can over look in this family.'' For a moment for myself, it sounded as if I was defending Illumi in a way. But putting that silly thought aside, I came back to the real problem.

'' Hmm, you're right, I've never seen him question papa before. He just does what he's told. He's nothing like Killu-nii.'' Alluka turned his gaze to the door before looking back at me as I wanted to ask him a question.

'' Ah, I have a favor to ask Alluka.'' I looked down on the towel and grabbed it tighter around as I felt a chill going through, since it was rather soaked from all the water I had to rinse out from my hair. '' Would it be possible for you to find something comfortable for me to wear. It can be anything. I just don't think I can sit around in this for too long and I don't want to bother anyone else.'' My eyes wondered back to him as I saw his face sparkle when he smiled up at me.

'' Of course, I can!'' Hearing that joyful glee leaving his mouth, he jumped up from the bed, having both hands balance on either side of him. As he skipped out of the room, still shouting back at me : I'll be right back! Don't go anywhere.''

I unintentionally smiled and looked at the empty space in the door way. ''_How was Alluka uninfected by the poison of these murderous people. But I guess every family has a black sheep.'' _To think that Alluka was so cute and joyful, it just amazed me. Killua must of done a good job as an older brother to protect him for this long.

As much as logic would collide with my ideals, Killua was probably the nicest person out there.

Even the most innocent people can sometimes be the most evil.

Given the fact that Killua indeed has done unspeakable things at such a young age, then his loyalty and kindness towards his friends and loved ones makes up for everything bad that ever happened.

And the strong friendship he and Gon shared, was worth crying for. Their bond is so strong it's on a whole new level of loyalty. Nothing could break those two as long as there was either one of them backing eachother up.

As my mind wondered, I began remembering the times I had with my own best friend.

''_Things won't be the same anymore..I won't have that freedom.''_ I had stared at the floor for some time now, not really paying attention how much time passed since Alluka had ran off.

My gaze was still fixed on the ground and I could feel my eyelids getting heavier. This was not the time to be napping.

But as time passed, I couldn't help but yawn and look at the warm soft bad I was sitting on. ''_I'll just rest for a moment before Alluka gets back. I don't want to catch a cold in this wet towel.''_

Looking back at the door, which was still half open, I decided to just hang the towel on the chair that was next to my bed, and headed to remove the cover so I could worm myself under it.

It felt so comfortable, I immediately closed my eyes and felt my body heat surround me as I snuggled closer to the pillow and the blanket, that almost covered my face also. ''_Just a couple of minutes will do.''_

* * *

**So this time I sure did take my time. And my only excuse is that I got caught up in an online game. **

**BUT that is not the only reason why this chapter took double the time to finish. I also had a ton of ideas for the upcoming chapters, so of course I had to scribble them down before the ideas were forgotten. Though those events wont be happening anytime soon. The boredom of these fill-in chapters are killing me myself, but it can't be helped for now**


	10. Chapter 10 - A gift

**A gift**

My mind was slowly waking up, but everything was still rather hazy and I couldn't exactly recognize where I was at the moment.''_Was my bed always this sof..never mind''._ The sudden unfamiliar scent that lingered in the room, reminding me that I was not where I thought I would be.

As soon as I realized that, still not having completely opened my eyes and having a uncomfortable feeling run through me. All I managed to concentrate on was the heavy feeling I had, like something kept me bound.

I exhaled out of reflex to get some air in my system. It took me a couple of minutes to completely wake up, but when I decided that I should probably try and see why I felt so heavy, something was keeping me from doing that.

I lifted a hand to rub the sleep out of my eyes and stretch my arms above my head in some weird way, as I still felt the protesting feeling my body had on me when I tried to move myself.

I was laying on my back when I felt that the heavy pressure rested on my legs more than any other part.

I tried my best to open my eyes and see what was causing this issue. ''_Ugh seriously, I don't have time for this so early already. What could possibly b..''_

I couldn't help but get startled by another beings presence resting on top of my lower body. For a minute fear ran through me and my senses were perfectly alert. I almost wanted to jump up and back away. ''_God damn, these reflexes.''_ I hushed down my heart rate, taking slow, deep breaths.

I noticed that it wasn't a complete stranger, having recognized the face of the person.

My expression softened and I tried my best not to wake up the peaceful Alluka, who had fallen asleep on the end of the bed, with his head resting on his hands.

I could feel the uneasy feeling crawling up my legs, because I had been in one position for far too long. ''_Oh, why now, it's like waking up a sleeping kitten. You just don't want to do it.''_ I still tried my best to move my legs so the action wouldn't wake the sleeping boy, who seemed to be in deep slumber.

As I almost had my legs free from the uncomfortable position, I could hear a more unstable breathing kick in and hearing him make a small, quiet grunt. I stopped immediately, being completely still and took a minute or two before continuing. In my head I kept on repeating that he would not wake. But that hope faded when I saw movement.

He took a good hand full of the blanket in his possession and hugged it close to him, almost covering his face in it. That was my chance to move the last part of my legs from under him and I was now crawling over the bed to sit up and place my feet on the ground. ''_Thank god.''_

But I was still in a rather awkward situation. If someone were to walk in, they would see a rather disturbing image of my bony nude body.

I remembered putting the towel aside, so that was what I was going for, for now.

When I finally managed to take my gaze off of Allukas happy sleeping face, I took a look in front of me, noticing something new that I didn't remember being there before. _'' Oh, so he actually managed to find something.''_ I felt rather relieved, because in my current state, I had no clothes to cover what was left of me in this world for now.

I stood up to go and take a look at the robes which were new to my eyes. The patterns themselves looked floral. The color tone on it was light yellow, following the floral lines, they turned more redder, some ends being light green.

Over all saying, it seemed like a rather springy-type of a cloth.

When I examined the clothing, I noticed that it seemed to be a type of a yukata. Nothing that Alluka wore though. Allukas clothes reminded that of a mikos. Knowing that Alluka had healing powers, the priest clothing did fit him perfectly, but I couldn't help but blame their twisted mother for these type of fashion senses.

She clearly had an obsession in dressing up her sons in these gentle looking female clothes. At least the younger ones. Illumi, Milluki and Killua seemed to have escaped that fate fortunately.

Even the more serious type, Kalluto, happen to wear such clothes as Alluka. ''_And whats up with their names...who's idea was it to use double L's in their names.''_ It always had bothered me. Not that any of the names were bad, but the curiosity still stood.

''_And how come Killua is the only one with white hair...Did the rest of them just happen to decide it was better to go with mommy's genes as an embryo?''_

While I was thinking of more useless things, which I didn't know if it mattered or not, I decided to try on the girly yukata.

Mostly I knew the basics when it came to these sort suits, but tying up the obi was gonna be a small trial.

I had no clue how to do it properly so I stood there for a good while trying to figure it out. Not finding a useful solution.

I suddenly heard a small laughter behind me and I turned around automatically, still having my hands holding on to the obi from my back, so the whole thing wouldn't come loose.

'' Morning Allika! Why didn't you wake me up, I wanted to help you with that and surprise you~.'' Allukas voice was still cheery but at the same time he was clearly pouting over the matter.

I sort of felt guilt dripped, so I gave a small laugh before answering. '' Ah, I just noticed it being here and wanted to see for myself..and I sort of got ..tied up in the activity. But I didn't want to wake you, you seemed comfortable.'' I once again turned side ways, facing the mirror, so I could half-way see what I was doing behind my back.

I heard Alluka pout more, '' Mhh! That's because Illu-nii doesn't let me have friends. It felt nice sleeping next to a new friend!'' Alluka was laying on his back when he threw his arms and legs up in the air, expressing his joy in having a companion.

I honestly felt bad for him. Even though I knew he has been living this way for his entire life. He just doesn't know better, only through Killua.

I just couldn't help but want to spend time with him. He isn't allowed much activity, and he has to sit in this old house with these creepy ass people. ''_How do you manage to stay so happy..''_

_''_I don't want you to get in trouble if you're doing something you shouldn't be.'' I still wasn't sure in what time period I was in currently. I did know, or more like had a feeling, that the Chimera Ant incident should be over. At least I hoped it was. _''Alluka was locked up the entire time then, wasn't he?''_

Alluka rolled on to his stomach while laying his head on his arms and swinging two feet above the sheets. '' It's OK, I'm allowed to move around the house, I just can't go outside by myself yet.' His smile broadened and it seemed like he was thinking of the happiest moment ever. '' Besides, Killu-nii said that once I'm older, I can go along with him and travel! So sitting here for that is worth it! I can't wait~ ''

My eyes softened and I noticed that I was also smiling. ''_He's so cute and innocent. I can understand Killuas protectiveness over him. He doesn't want these monsters to defile him.'' _That smile was gone when I remembered why he was protecting Alluka in the first place.

They wanted to contain him; control him; kill him. Anything sounded good as long as Alluka was in their possession, because in their words, he wasn't considered human, but a something with tremendous power. ''_What category can I fit myself in..I have basically taken over another persons living form..that just doesn't sound right in any way. Or more like, my logic can't accept this situation in any way possible.''_ Just when I had gotten lost in thought, I felt a hand on my shoulder and that made me jump a little in my spot.

'' Oh, uhm, sorry. I got lost in thought for a moment there.'' I smiled back while saying that and looked at him with curiosity. '' Did you ask something?''

'' I just asked if I can help you with the obi. You're really slow at this.'' His expression stayed the same while giving that straight forward comment, I had to stare at him for a bit and turned my back.

'' Sure you can help. I most probably won't know how to do it the right way anyway, even if I tried.'' He waved his hands up in the air while cheering in delight and got to work right away, fixing the mess I had created.

'' Yay! I always liked doing this. It's like a dress up party.'' He sounded so happy, just from a small thing like this. ''_You must be really lonely here without Killua.''_

_''_By the way Alluka,''

''Hm? Nani.'' He didn't take his eyes off of the obi for a second and just listened.

''Where did you get this. I don't think this would be yours, or by any chance you just happened to have it from your mother?'' I held my hands on the obi that was tied around my stomach, while Alluka was preparing it from the back.

''Oh this old thing? It was Kallu-chans when he was still younger. He started growing a lot right now so this didn't fit him anymore. Mama doesn't throw anything away though, so I thought you could use it right now.'' He patted my back softly with both hands and smiled widely. ''See! It fits you perfectly. You're so cute now~ '' He clapped his hands together and almost jumped up and down.

I gave him an awkward smile at that comment and turned around. '' I think you're exaggerating, Alluka. I need to eat better to look at least decent enough. Cute is a word I would not use right now.''

'' Ehhh~ You're too modest.'' He placed both hands on his hip.

'' Young Master Alluka. Sorry to disturb you.''

We both hurried to look at the doorway. I turned to see a butler bowing as much as he could towards the ground, after saying that.

'' Stop being so formal and act normal! Geesh~ It looks so weird when you bow Katsu,'' said the boy with a frown on his face while walking up to the young man.

The butler looked really young now that I examined better. ''_Around 17-19? Where do you guys find these people to work here... it's crazy.''_

The young butler had sun golden eyes which were slightly narrowed and turned up from the corners. ''_I guess you could call this a hunter world asian?''_

His hair was firey red, which shined in the golden tone of the lighting in the room. A nice slim tall body and a rather handsome face. Fairly saying, ''_...He looks too cute to be working in this place...where did you go wrong in life.''_

_''_My appologies Young Master, but you know this is how we need to address you.'' The guy was fairly polite and his voice had a nice low ring to it.

''Yes yes I know. Now get up! It's weird,'' Alluka said while pushing the guys head up from his bowing stance while having a palm against his forehead.

''So why did you come here Ka-chan.'' The butler, named Katsu, raised an eyebrow to this and waited for a moment.

I could of sworn he gave me a rather unfriendly glance.

''I came to notify you, that lunch has been prepared and that you should come right away, since you seemingly have skipped breakfast.'' He spoke calmly, but in a way that it would seem as if he was scolding Alluka.

The guy stood back up completely, straightening his back and keeping his right hand placed against the left side of his chest.

''_Such manners.. I can understand why Alluka finds this strange.'' _I wasn't all that sure what to do or say, so for now I waited and observed. I held my hands together from the back and forgot that I was still staring at him, so I immediately removed my gaze and stared out of the window, as if what they were talking about, wasn't any of my business.

''Oh really!? Yaay~,'' Alluka swung his arms in the air and swirled around on his heel and walked towards me, grabbing my hand in the process. ''Lets go! I can't wait to see what we have today.'' His smile was all someone needed to just feel totally refreshed.

All I could manage was to nod in the sudden change of plans and let myself be half dragged along by Alluka, who eagerly wanted to hurry to the dining area. I huffed a smile and hoped that I would not get tired. I wouldn't want to kill his hyper happy mood.

I had to half speed walk, because the yukata was keeping my legs from moving freely.

While walking straight down the hall, I momentarily looked back to see if the butler had followed, but saw nothing. ''_Guess he has his own things to do.''_

Alluka almost dashed around the corner and wanted to run down the stairs, but I held him back. I wasn't going to end up dripping and getting a broken neck. Besides that, I still didn't quite appreciate the sudden physical activity. It had a lot of strain on my body and I was trying to be careful.

Even if Alluka had healed me to an extend, I was not going to take any risks right now.

''Hurry, hurry Allika! You don't want to miss anything~ '' It was almost impossible to overlook his excitement. ''_I don't think he'sever had friends over; eating at the same table or even accompanying him.''_

I gave in to his bright energy and tried to at least hold him back for both of our safety. ''Don't run down the stairs Alluka, I might drip, I don't want to drag you with me.''

His hyper mood didn't change and he turned around momentarily to look at me, turning his gaze back to the front when seeing that he had almost reached the doorway.''Hmm? What was that?'' We reached the bottom of the stairs, at the same time, two butlers opened the doors and Alluka speed walked towards the dining room from the guest room. I didn't let myself be bothered by any of this and just gave him an awkward smile. ''N..No it's nothing.''

The table was already marvelously covered and I took my time in inspecting everything because Alluka had finally taken his time in slowing down. Also giving me the opportunity to catch my breath and calm my pulse.

I was pulled out of my thoughts when Alluka tugged my sleeve and pointed towards two chairs across the room. He smiled brightly and I walked along with him, taking a seat next to the energetic boy after he had chosen a place to sit down at.

I had to admit that small sprint did wear me out, and I had to take a few slow deep breaths in order to calm myself down before I get lightheaded from the lack of energy in my body. That also being, because I haven't eaten to restore that energy.

You could say his eyes sparkled in the sight of the food, which were mostly sweets and pastry.

Going over the fact that I've had the small food test with Illumi, I was safe to assume that I could eat what ever I wanted. The problem now was, how much could I eat? Would I feel sick after words or would my stomach simply give in to the amount.

As i was going over this thought, my attention went back to Alluka, who had taken a huge piece of pie with two hands, and now stuffing his face with it.

I couldn't help but be astonished by his lack of table manners, or he simply forgot them over the excitement.

Looking at his appetite, I think I found it right that I start eating as well.

I looked in front of me and decided to take a small piece of clean chicken breast. They were already sliced to small, thin parts, so I didn't have to worry about cleaning anything out.

When I finally took the time to enjoy the flavor, I looked next to me when I felt tugging on my sleeve.

''Ne, ne! Allika, do you like the food?'' His face was covered in crumbs and some sort of paste from the pie, it was hard to look away and not laugh. He looked confused and pouted at my sudden reaction.

'' Ehh! What is it!'' His face didn't change and I tried to keep back my giggles.

'' Ah, mh, khm, nothing~ Sorry Alluka, but your face is covered and I couldn't take your question seriously.'' The sleeved of this robe were fairly long and they covered my hands when I held it against my mouth to muffle the laughter. I pointed at his face with my other hand and I saw him stare at me for a long while.

''_Ah..uhm, did I go too far?''_ After clearing out my throat I looked back at him and felt rather awkward being stared at. '' ...Uhm, Alluka? Something wrong?''

He closed his eyes and shaked his head in denial, while opening up his eyes again, he smiled up at me.

''_Ok, kind of weird here now..''_ I felt more awkward by the second and decided to turn back to my food.

''You're a really nice person, Allika! I'm happy my powers were of help to bringing you back~.'' His voice was delighted and happy, but what he said confused me. But for now, all I did was smile and nod to myself. He saw my silent agreement and smiled more brightly and went back to eating more pastry sweets.

''_Bringing me back? ...Ah, I guess he hasn't been told the full story. They probably stored up lies like I was some dying girl and I needed help..''_ I couldn't of been sure of my assumption, but that's what it looked like to me. And I felt bad, because clearly they were taking advantage of his kindness to bring something like this to life. AKA Me. ''_How would they accomplish making Alluka agree anyway..did they control Killua into commanding him to do so?''_

That sudden trail of thought left me cold. ''_If they're controlling Killua in some way..then this is really bad.'' _I started to sulk over my food at that thought, trying to convince myself that that was a stupid idea. ''_There's no way Killua would let himself be controlled...unless he sacrificed himself for Allukas freedom...''_ I blinked a couple of times and shook that thought out of my head as well.

There's too many things I still don't know. I can't possibly just assume everything, but it did leave me worried. I knew very well that I must not trust these people. Aside from Alluka at least, but I still kept myself on high alert. ''_Anything can be possible. But I can't keep on lingering on these thoughts, they'll just corrupt me, and I'll look suspicious.''_

While I was going through these ideas, I left myself on autopilot and kept eating and refilling my plate with small amounts of food. I started to feel full quite quick though, and finished up on the last piece of salad on my plate. I took the napkin that was laying on the table and whipped my face clean, not that there was anything there, but it was more like a common table manner action. ''Thank you for the food, it was more than perfect.''

That statement was more directed to the butlers around us. In that moment I clapped my hands together, brought them up to my forehead and bowed a little.

''_Wait...huh..''_ That action confused me more than I would of expected and I lowered my hands and I eyed to room in silence.

Not that I expected to see a reaction from these people, but they showed no interest in what I had done.

''Ehh! But Allika, you haven't even had dessert~ You must try it!'' His voice whined next to me and I raised my hand in apology.

''I'm sorry, I really am full. But I promise I'll fix my appetite so I can eat more delicious things.''

You could see disappointment in his face and a frown. I just smiled for a forgiveness and he finally sighted.

''Mouu! Fine, but that's a promise!''

''Hai hai.'' I somewhat felt relaxed again after that short conversation, but it was shortly lived when I heard a screeching sound coming from the doorway.

'' Ohhh my~ So this is our little guest. My you sure are cute, you have death written all over your face~''

The over dramatic presence that couldn't be overlooked caught my attention fast and I couldn't help but stare in shock.

Next to me, Alluka, had a plain face on and kept looking at the intruder as well. '' Mama.'' All thought she no longer wore that ridiculous hat, she still had that weird machinery around her face that covered her eyes. Her hair was loose and the front strands were pulled back and pinned with a gigantic flower ornament. Her dressing was still as usual, but now she worse a black puffy dress that was lacy from the bottom and on the top side.

I wanted to run away. Her aura was overflowing, and honestly she was one of the people that I was scared of.

Her personality was so twisted, even if she didn't do any physical harm to someone, her attitude made you want to turn the other way. ''_Must run in the genes..''_

She fanned a frilly black laced fan in front of her face and when she lowered it, you could see her grin a mile away.

I didn't want to leave a bad taste in this persons mouth, so I quickly got up from my chair and bowed a little, folding my arms in front of me. '' Ah, I'm sorry, it's really nice to meet you K...Mrs. Zoldyck! I hope I'm not intruding too much.''

She grabbed both of her arms by the elbows and walked closer. ''Oh~you're so well mannered. It's fine, it's fine~ No need for such politeness. I wanted to come and see you sooner, but Papa kept me away with work.'' She kept one hand wrapped around her waist and brought the other to cover her mouth. ''I am so glad to finally meet you~''

I didn't know why, but you could hear the malice in her tone as she spoke the last words, and it froze the blood in my system.

I tried my best to give the kindest and brightest smile, as I was taught to give at work towards guests who were actually assholes, and you wanted to smack them across the room. But this time it was out of fear and to show respect. ''I'm also very happy to meet you, I could say it's an honor, but please don't spoil me with your presence. I wouldn't want to take advantage of that and get used to it.''

After hearing my comment, a smile was spread across her face and she hid it behind her fan, giggling it off. ''Oh child, where did you learn such flattery. If you were as handsome as my sons I would be greatly effected.''

I smiled up at her as she was still fanning away her comments and I couldn't help but get stuck on that one. ''_Are you saying you would be taken in by me if I was a guy ... That is just so wrong..Or maybe it's just her weird way of showing obsession..''_

'' I wouldn't lie to you either way. There wouldn't be any need for that in front of such a lady as yourself.'' This was nothing more but simple psychology. Take in the persons personality traits, and tell them what they want to hear. Even though they might be big words, for me it had zero meaning. It's true that I didn't lie to her, but given my comment, if I wasn't smiling up at her and giving off such a friendly aura, she would know the true meaning behind my words.

I wouldn't say that I was trying to be completely smug and leave an impression on this woman, but I made it clear to myself to stick to this persons good side.

Even compared to Illumi, she was more frightening than that guy. I didn't know much about her abilities, but I knew that she could see far beyond what anyone could possibly wish to see. In short, she was a dangerous person who I would not bet my luck on.

I knew that her over exaggerating persona was from her confidence that she is strong, so hiding any sort of reaction was not important to her.

Simply taken, it's how rich and powerful people on earth would act. They know they have everything, so they're untouchable and can do what ever they want.

'' And I was wondering why Alluka needed that yukata. But I have to say you look absolutely adorable in it~'' She was hitting that point again where she was exclaiming in an overly dramatic way and it made me want to take a step back, but I forced to stand my ground.

'' I'm really thankful for this, I will return it once my set of clothes will be wearable again.''

''Oh no, dear. You don't have to return it. You live here so there is no need. More than that, I will have to give you proper clothes, not those what Illumi-kun gave you. It's not right for a lady to walk around in boys clothes.'' She bent towards me a little, whispering the last part while keeping the fan next to her face.

''Ah, really, there's no need for that. I'm really thankful for the offer, but I will be fine with anything.''

She stood back up firm, keeping a grip on her elbow with one hand while the other was brought to her chest. ''Absolutely not! I can not have a young woman walk around like that in my house. It is absolutely unacceptable!'' She turned around, a hand on her hip while pointing at a butler.

''You! Go gather decent garments for our guest. I will not have her walking around the house like that!''

I still kept my smile up, but inside I felt like I wanted to die of embarrassment. ''_Why oh why is this happening. Of all the people I gladly wouldn't of met, was her. She's giving waaay too much attention for this.''_

I huffed in defeat, trying to still keep up my good mood. '' I really am fine though, there is no need to do so much for someone like me.''

''Nonsense~ All my beautiful sons are grown up. They won't let their mother decide for them anymore. It makes me feel young again having a wonderful guest around.'' She brought her hand near her eye, in pretend that she was sad over the thought.

''_This is so not how I expected her to be... I hope I can go back to the library soon.'' _I gave another reassuring smile and bowed just a little. ''Then I will gladly take the offer. I will be looking forward to it.'' I was crying my eyes out from the inside. ''_I don't want this...I didn't think I would have to play as someones trophy doll. Please oh please, training, save me.''_

'' Ahh! No. I forgot some urgent business. I need to go little one~ Take care of yourself now.'' With that sudden outburst she ran out of the door and it left me to stare into space for a while. ''_Well at least I got that off my back for now... I wonder why was she so attached to me. This is definitely not how you would act around a stranger, who just happened to come alive in your basement.'' _

I heard some muttering behind my back and a cough. I turned to see the redheaded butler who came to notify Alluka earlier. He looked at me with a blank stare and bowed, placing his right hand over his chest.

''Miss, Master Illumi wishes to see you in the library. I came to escort you there.''

I raised an eyebrow at that and looked fairly surprised by the sudden summon. ''A..ah , sure of course.'' I moved away from the table and pushed the chair back under the table. I looked at Alluka who looked lonely already. '' I'll see you later Alluka. Not like I'll be going anywhere. I'm just going to go study.'' I turned around and waved it off, after seeing that I got the same response from him waving back.

The butler kept the door open and I walked out, thanking him for the help. I then waited for him to lead the way, because in all honesty, I couldn't possibly remember where something was at the moment. Only thing I recalled, was the way to my room and the dining area.

It felt a little weird in the long lingering silence, but I didn't find it suitable to bring up a conversation with this person, so I tried keeping my interest towards my surroundings, and hopefully remember the path to the library. Even though I knew that my movement around this house was narrowed down to only my room, if it was by myself. I still wanted to remember the way. For what ever reason might come up.

I silently took a deep breath, to keep my stamina going, because I knew that if I was being called to the library, I had work to do. So getting tired now was not an option. Most likely I wasn't going to be given the freedom of such indolent behavior.

'' We can take a break, if you need to Miss.'' He didn't even need turn around to see that I was tired? Well, so much for my cover up.

'' There's no point to it. I need to get used to moving anyway. Spoiling my body with useless stuff like that won't get me anywhere.'' I came and said that out frank. There was a minute or two before I talked again.

''But thank you for the offer, uhm.. Katsu?''

He turned his head a bit and there was a grin on his face, that did not leave me in a very comfortable spot. '' Sorry, no. Katsu is my brother. My names Retsu.''

I blinked at him a couple of times, thinking over who I saw before and who was standing in front of me now, before giving him a surprised look. '' Ehh, that's pretty cool, you're twins.''

''Yes, we are.'' He turned to face forward and kept walking ahead.

I couldn't help but wonder about the things they say about twins. I never actually met any in person in my life. '' Is it true that twins have a special connection?''

'' As in what exactly?'' He slowed down a bit to look at me from the corner and I caught up with him on an even pace.

'' Such as knowing where the other is, feels, thinks? Or perhaps a special communication ability with telekinesis.''

'' Hmm. There might be, but not with us.'' We stopped at the library door and he turned to face me while opening the door with one hand to let me go in.''_He sure doesn't say much..but I guess that's what they're trained for.''_

'' Pity. It would be interesting to see.'' Not that I expected him to share the information of their abilities, but it still perked an interest in me to know. I still haven't seen actual Nen use since I got here. Not that I would want to see the Nen of the Zoldycks, that's way too dangerous to be near when that happens.

''Indeed it would.'' With that final word, he closed the door when I entered the room and walked off.

My expression dropped immediately when I saw my favorite person sitting across the room, reading a book.

''Finally showed up. I don't think I need to tell you what you need to do.''

'' It's great to see you too. And no, you don't need to remind me of such great things.'' I couldn't help but respond in a sarcastic way, and I do hope he understood that.

Whether he gave me a silent response or not, I couldn't tell. I decided to pick up where I left off, and climbed the stairs to the second floor.

I somehow did expect to see some improvement, but I still got tired rather fast and had to take a break. I sat on a box and raked a hand through my hair to get it out of my face. ''_I forgot to cut it.. I need to do it some time, or it's going to be impossible to work like this. Plus it just gets in my way everywhere. I mean heck it's so fucking long I can trip on it.''_ While I debated how and when I should cut my hair, I stood up and gathered some of the books laying on the ground. And when I say some, I mean two.

I noticed that this part of the library had thick and heavy books, so carrying around many would turn to my disadvantage. Not to mention that some where gigantic, so carrying those were out of the question.

I had written down the symbols of the shelves and found that there were 17 different categories. Each of those having at least three to five shelves.

What those categories were, I could only assume if I found a picture book.

I stacked up the books near a destined bookshelf, those which didn't seem to go on this floor, I placed on a separated table near the stairs.

It would be easier to transfer them down later if they were closer.

It didn't seem like much work had been done, but I could tell that a lot of time had passed since I last got here. Whether Illumi was still here hadn't even crossed my mind, nor did I bother going down to check.

''_I have to admit that eating that small portion sure did help right now. I don't feel as tired as I used to.''_

I was currently looking over some scattered paperwork. They weren't marked, so it was hard for me to decide where to place them. ''_I guess there's no need to think about it now.'' I _took the paper pile and walked over to the table that was already stacked with books, but still threw those on top of everything else.

Looking up at the first shelf, I felt rather proud of myself. It started to look decent.

Since I still couldn't read this language, I arranged the books by color of the cover. Being the artsy type that I was, I simply took the most natural color order and placed them accordingly. Starting from white, ending with black.

At least it looked pleasing to the eye, and it somewhat made it easier to memorize what had been placed where. At the moment I could say that I remembered most of the covers of the books, so if I had to dig something up, I knew exactly where it would be. ''_I know this is something irrelevant, but I still can't help but feel a bit happy for doing this.''_ I dropped my head and shook it a little. '' _Such a small matter to get happy over, silly me,__'' _I mocked myself.

I thought of taking a small break, so I went to lean on the edge of the metal rim of the second floor. Looking down at the spot where I had seen Illumi sit before, was now empty.

I wasn't surprised, he was bound to leave at some point.

It was quiet.

I rested my head on my arms and looked over the library once again. It still looked impressive as ever, so I took in the scenery, breathed in the smell of old paper and books, also a heavy musty smell could be picked up in this place. But it somehow felt nice and cozy. I closed my eyes and concentrated on my hearing for a while.

It was strange how no vision can improve someones hearing if you actually focused on it.

At that moment I heard a small sound. I didn't pay it much attention, given that it could be anything. ''_Maybe they have rats.''_

As I took the time to relax again, I heard the same echoing sound, but I could identify it better now. It was the sound of something metal. It was really light, so it only gave off a tender sound.

When I got that idea in my head that it sounds like needles dropping, I opening my eyes and backed away from the edge to see Illumi standing next to me with a pair of long pins in his hand. That image alone was enough to set me off course.

'' Ara..you heard me?''

'' ...'' I didn't know what to say, should I be thankful for my own hearing and let it go, or start screaming at him for trying something funny.

'' It's not you what I heard..it was your pins... What the hell are you even doing standing here with those.''

He slowly lowered his hand and pocketed the pins, for now I heard nothing. ''_How was I able to...''_

_''_Nothing much, I simply wanted to see if you'd let your guard down, I guess your instincts saved you from harder work.''

I glared back at him softly and stood straight. '' That won't happen unless _you_ leave this house.''

'' Hoo? I'm the cause? Well..at least I'm doing something for your cause until your fully authorized over to me.''

Those were the words I was not too thrilled to hear. I didn't realize, that once I'm physically better, Zeno will not hold Illumi back. That's the real time I need to be worried about that will come.

Ignoring his comment, I switched the topic. He clearly knew that it's something I wanted to avoid. '' So is there something you actually wanted to tell me, or did you come up here, simply to disturb me mentally.''

He huffed a small smile, which sent chills running down my skin. '' A little bit of both. But no, I came to hand this to you.'' He took out a box from his jacket pocket, stepped closer, which I didn't approve of much, and handed it to me. I did take my time before actually accepting it, because it was still something from_ him._

I stared at the box and back at him. '' And this is ?''

'' This is a digital noter that Milluki designed. It will have all of your schedules and other important information when your training starts.'' As he was explaining this, I took the time to open the box and see that it was a circular touch screen object. There were various buttons around the edges and like on most phones that I used to see back at home, a round button built in to open it. ''_Looks like handling this wont be a problem at least.''_

I wasn't exactly grateful for this 'gift' , but I looked up at him to give my gratitude anyway, : '' Thanks Illumi, I'll take care of it.'' The last part did sound more like sarcasm than an actual intent of caring for the object. But I guess he found it amusing, because he looked back and smiled.

'' You're very welcome.'' From that comment I felt a little stoic and almost immediately had an annoyed face. Illumi then turned around and walked down the stairs in a calm matter. ''_Fucking hate you. Annoying bastard.''_

Currently I wasn't even exactly sure why I felt so irritated. There wasn't even anything that happened. ''_I guess his just that bored of waiting that he can't help himself anymore... Never mind, it's not like him to be impatient over something like this.''_ I sealed up the box again and put it down on the small wooden table next to me. ''_Or maybe he is that eager to play around with a toy, with his own set of rules that he hasn't been able to do now that Killua isn't around anymore.. Ugh..that thought depresses me.''_

I looked behind me with a terribly annoyed face.'' _Maybe I actually should run away...''_

* * *

**So like any other, including myself, I know how frustrating it is to wait on a chapter if you finally found a story to read. But my thoughts ran to a dead end in filling up this chapter, and I simply didn't want to give another short paragraph to read while some(maybe) of you are waiting for an update. But now that I'm home sick, I suppose my mind can't run on anything else, so I'm gonna try and write more.**

_**Also Claraa **_**: Mayu wont be in the story, nor is she the character(Aru) but she was a great inspiration for me to create Aru's character, so to keep myself in track and not forget what I aimed for, I used this picture for a reminder. I'm sorry if it confuses some people. Also her appearance is something I used to create how Aru looks.**


	11. Chapter 11 - Subdued mind

**Subdued mind**

''..so boring.''

For a brief moment I had taken the time to put aside the work I needed to do and look over the gadget that Illumi had presented me with.

It had barely anything interesting to look over from the menu and it wasn't difficult to get by the icons that lead to different applications of the item.

Though there still was the problem of knowing the letters. I had a restricted searching option on the mechanism because I couldn't use the keyboard on the screen. Nor did I understand what it wanted from me if a notification popped up. The only thing that was the same for everyone here, were the numbers. So that's one down and a million problems to go.

''_There's too much I don't know in this world..''_ I put the noter aside and stared up into nothingness.

I was sitting on a comfortable leather office chair, with my legs extended in front of me and both of my hands hanging down on the sides of the armrests.

I looked like a couchpotato.

The only difference was, I looked more like a starved scarecrow than a fat lazy bum.

My expression was dull and I felt exhausted. ''_I wish Alluka was here.. I enjoy talking to him at least.''_

The last memory came back to me from the lunch time. I was happy I got to taste their food.

But every time I end up eating I have this tiny fear in me that it's all poisoned. But I guess I'm safe to know, as long as Illumi isn't cooking, it should be fine. And I'm pretty positive that they wont feed Alluka poisonous food.

I frowned when I recalled the sudden appearance of their mother. There's no point in worrying over it now, so I sighed out in content and cocked my head back on the chair and slid further down on it. ''I hope I don't have to see that woman any time soon..'' I mumbled to myself in a quiet tone and pushed myself back up on the chair.

'' You wish to avoid who exactly, Miss?''

''Tsk...fuck.'' The sudden deep voice startled me and I felt a jolt go through my heart and I immediately looked to my right to see a certain redheaded butler standing next to the staircase.

He had a wondering face, but it still reflected coldness.

'' You scared the shit out of me.. Does everyone in this house like sneaking up on people like that.'' I was a tad bit annoyed but I stood up and pocketed the noter from the table.

He placed his palm against his chest and bowed a little before answering, '' It's a must for everyone in here to know these techniques. Someone who can't even do that, would not be qualified to even step a foot inside of the walls.''

'' I don't mean that Retsu.. I just expect people to let someone know they're there, before giving them a heart attack.'' I turned to face him after walking up to not make the conversation so distant.

He didn't reply though and for a moment I thought he had broken down. '' Uhm..ano.. Retsu? You o..''

'' How did you know I was Restu, Miss?''

'' Huh? ..uhm..I don't know ..i-it just seemed like you were.'' This topic got me confused and I wasn't sure if the seriousness in his tone was a good thing or not. I made sure not to approach closer.

In case of emergency, I wouldn't have much hope in escape, but I still liked to keep things in a safe zone.

'' What gave me away?'' He lifted his head a little, but still kept his bowing stance, but his look was so serious it made me want to back away. They say to stand your ground when being approached by a predator though, so I kept my feet glued to the ground.

'' I'm not ..quite sure.'' My voice was quiet and I tried to think why I had automatically thought of him as the other twin. '' I suppose it's just the way you are, the way you talk and stand?''

He raised his eyebrows and blinked a few times before starting to laugh.

I looked back at him in utter confusion and had cold sweat running down my back. ''_Eh..what..did I say. Why do people laugh at me..''_ In my mind I had already facepalmed against a wall for five times.

''Hahaa, ahh sorry, I'm being rude.'' He rested a hand against his forehead, raking his hair back while keeping the other on his hip, and looking down at me.

While he said that, the image he was showing, felt rather familiar. ''_Now where have I seen that overly dramatic pose before...''_ I wasn't sure whether my face was giving away what I was thinking, but his expression turned serious in a second when I had that thought, and it made me take a step back, not to mention the sudden huge amount of fear that ran through my gut.

'' You seem uncomfortable around me?''

''Eh..t-that's..nothing..you just reminded me of someone. The resemblance surprised me, that's all.'' I looked down on the ground when still having fresh memories of a certain someone, who likes killing for a living, and also for personal enjoyment.

''And that person makes you have this reaction, why?''

I looked back up to have some eye contact, when I had to stumble back a bit, because in that short time I hadn't notice, he had taken his time to get too close and basically tower over me.

The back of my legs hit the chair I sat on before and I held my hand out not to drip. I got my balance back and looked back at the person who looked like he was pursuing me.

'' T-that's, just because of how his personality is..I'm not sure how much simpler I can put it.'' I did't feel any better, because his expression didn't change at all. It seemed frightening, but safe at the same time. I wasn't sure what to make of that. ''_An obsession?''_

He reached his hand out to brush a few strands of hair from my face and it left me to stand cold. My eyes widened in shock and I felt as if I was a trapped mouse for a cat to pray on. My stomach was stirring. The need to run was grater than any thought that passed my mind.

'' Tell me, Miss. What frightens you so.'' He placed the hair strand behind my ear in a slow motion while staring right in my eyes.

My speech was cut due to the lack of air in my lungs. I had forgotten to breathe. After realizing this I took a deep breath and felt how hard my heart was pounding. ''_I think it was better when I wasn't breathing...he's scary...''_

_''_I uh..I just don't know anyone in this world.. and I know how much on a different level you people are from me. That thought alone frightens me.'' That of course wasn't the only reason.

His face lightened up from that statement and his eyes softened his look a bit. '' Hm, interesting. Is fear the only thing you currently feel?'' He lowered his hand from my face and stood back up normally.

Somehow I felt huge pressure leave me and I felt releaved. My breathing turned normal and I felt like I could relax. ''Uhm...yes, but it's fading. I'm guessing you retreated your nen from my presence?''

He stared at me for a while before giving me a smile. He closed his eyes and took back his formal butler stance. '' Yes, I did. I apologize for that little encounter.''

''_ Ah..he's testing me.. Like Illumi hasn't scared me enough already...he's making you guys do his work for him when he isn't around.. That just makes EVERYTHING better..'' _My expression showed irritation but I tried keeping it to a minimum. Knowing very well that this wasn't the only time it was going to happen.

_''_ So was there something other than this, that you came here for?''

* * *

I couldn't help but smirk at that idea. But knowing where I was standing, I had to give an answer. ''_She knows I'm testing her.. How lovely~. I have to keep this to a minimum. Though her frightened face sure was interesting... Ahh, dear me, I can't go back to that habit. I would be scolded.''_

'' Not at all, Miss. I was only asked to look after you. You have been here for quite some time. Anything you require, I will bring it for you. Or if you have other means, I will guide you.'' I kept my ground this time, placed my hand over my chest and the other behind my back. I closed my eyes and smiled at my own ideas. '' _Oh my dear brother, we're going to have so much fun. Master Illumi has presented us with a wonderful gift.''_

'' Ah..in that case, would you be kind enough to bring me some paper, a pencil and an eraser.'' She turned back to the table that was covered in an unbelievable amount of papers and books. How did she manage to even make that stack is beyond me, shes so weak, so fragile. My grin widened only a bit. ''_I can't wait to break her.''_

It was kind of hard keeping myself composed, having such an opportunity infront of me, displayed ever so nicely. ''_Did you do this on purpose, Master Illumi. You haven't had anyone to torture, so you're putting us through it.''_

'' Of course, I will be back in a short while.''

''Mh, I'll be waiting.'' She nodded and started sorting the pile.

I gave a small bow and took my leave down the stairs and out of the library. ''_But for now, it is better if I distance myself. It's been so long since I had gotten to do something this interesting, brother.''_

* * *

I got my normal composure back after he had left,'_' thank god for that, he was making me nervous.''_

His random smirks and grins didn't help me one bit. And I doubt he was just happy to do what he was ordered. That's not the type of people you have in this household.

I stopped what I was doing for a moment and stared infront of me for a long while. Everything fell silent. ''_I wonder if Canary is still here..How is everyone doing anyway. What has happened in this time.''_ I sat down on the chair again and rested my elbow on the table, placing my chin on my hand for support. I let my eyelids close a bit as I got in deep thought. '' Why am I here..'' That sentence came out as a whispering thought, and I couldn't help but have that lonesome feeling creep into me. ''_What's happening on earth now..what happened to my body.''_

I felt my cheeks heat up as I felt tears starting to form in my eyes.

I wanted to know how these things connected. How the universe worked. Was I able to return home somehow? How was my mother and my best friend. If I had traveled to another place, would that cost me time? And if that time was wasted, could it be that time on Earth had passed so much that no one that I knew, existed anymore.

Could such questions really be answered. I knew in my head that I need to move on and live where I had been brought to, but I couldn't neglect that small amount of feeling and thought that had me connected to where I was born at. The people I got to know. The knowledge I received while growing up. Being the person who I am today.

The tears that had formed, now ran down my face. My feature began to tremble in anger as I couldn't possibly have answers to all of those questions that I desperately wanted to be answered.

I balled up my fist and brought it against my forehead. I gripped on to the yukata from my chest and started hiccuping from my quiet cries. I took short breaths after a long while to keep this unwanted feeling to a minimum. The best way I knew how, was to cut off my breathing. That way I would get tired, my mind would not be able to process the thoughts, and I could even out my heart rate.

When I felt the trembling falter, I started taking deep and slow breaths. I raised my head to look around and saw no one. That kept me at ease and I could feel myself calm down again. Slowly I whipped away the still, warm running tears.

The last thing I wanted was for Illumi to pop up and see me like this.

Emotion for him is like a disease. It comes inbetween ones goal and I'm sure he would have me controlled if he saw me as some weak emotional girl who couldn't control her feelings.

I wiped away the cold tears still stuck on my cheeks and took two deep breaths to look a bit more normal. I rubbed my frown and tidied up my hair. ''_I don't have time to be weak. I need to learn as much as I can for now. If I'm going to end up being stuck here, I need to get better.''_

I stood up from the chair to get to work on the huge pile on the table. Sooner or later it's going to need to be moved, so before it gets out of hand, I should start with it now.

I only now saw how big the pile had gotten and climbed on the chair to reach better. ''_Else I'm going to have an ac..''_ In that moment I saw the book tower move and I reached out to keep it in place, but that didn't go as I planned.

I had used too much force and stumbled on the chair, that resulting in me sliding over the table with the books and on to the solid hard ground.

Everything happened so fast that I didn't even have time to react. But the impact came back to me in pain and I coughed.

'' ...no'' I looked over my shoulder when I saw the paper stack, along with scrolls, slide down on top of me. ''_My work..''_

I could feel my eye twitch in this scene of accidents. I got a tired expression.

I guess it was about time I got out of the mess.

I crawled out and sat on the ground, facing the oh so neatly put pile of papers on the ground next to me.

I placed my hands next to me and leaned on them, throwing my head back with a tired grunt. ''..Why now..''

I huffed and picked myself off from the ground. ''_Those papers aren't going to move themselves.''_

Placing the books back on the table was just going to be extra work for me, so I decided to leave them where they were. The only things that I did put back, were the scrolls and other documents. Though sorting those out would still take its time.

Least later I will have some idea where to place them down stairs. It's easier if they're organized now.

''My, I leave for a short while and you cause this much damage.'' The voice itself sounded worrying, but I knew he was only faking it for his own amusement.

'' No harm done, nothing broke so it's fine. Even the older books are in one piece.'' Given the voice and the comment, I didn't need to turn around to know who it was. ''Did you bring the items?''

''Yes, I did.'' Retsu walked closer and placed a block of paper on the table, along with different pencils and an eraser. ''Will this be enough for your needs? ''

''_He sounds as if doing this was a lot of work, and he'd cut me if he would need to do it again.. so not hostile.''_ I turned to see and look over the material set on the table.

'' I won't need anything fancy so this will do fine. I just need to see if I'm capable of handling a pencil.'' I ripped open the cover for the block and took out a piece of paper. Not really caring much for the quality of the pencil, any will do, I just took a random one next to me and thought over for a moment, what exactly should I practice.

For now I thought I should try and see if I can write anything. I tightened my hold on the pencil and decided to scribble down the words: ''_ I am Aru.''_

To my surprise, it wasn't hard to write, but my letters were rather crooked and askew. Though I could say I was pleased with the outcome. ''_ I'm able to write in English...this is more than great. This is fantastic.''_ I felt overly joyed and smiled to myself.

'' It looks beautiful, what language is that, Miss?''

'' It's where I come from. It means ' I am Aru' .'' I put the pencil down and erased the words from the paper. For some reason I didn't want that information to linger outside of my thoughts.

'' Hm~? And what does 'aru' stand for ?''

For a moment I had panic run through my mind. ''_Is anyone aside from Illumi allowed to know my real identity...I mean..I understand they all know I'm some top secret experiment..but..''_

Recalling the things he said about me not mentioning my personal information to people was lingering in my mind. I wasn't sure what I should say to this guy. He's a butler, so does he even need to know?

'' ..It's a name of a snake from where I come from..'' I acted calm and placed the paper aside. Though I had the feeling he could tell if I was lying. ''_It's the only thing I remember that can relate to this name...Thank god for that..but I took a big pause in my sentence, I'm sure he knows that I'm hiding something.''_

I walked over to the now neatly stuffed bookshelf and looked over the covers, trying to find the right book. '' It's a very beautiful snake. They can go from light grass green to soft sea turquoise.'' I sifted a book out of the socket and looked it over, remembering there being pictures in this one.

I opened the cover and shifted through some pages. ''Something like this.'' I showed him a nature book about reptiles, presenting a picture of a snake in bright green tone with some white dots spread around its body. Mostly on the back area.

Retsu closed in to take a better look at the picture and nodded in agreement. '' Hm, that indeed is a fine looking predator.'' I smiled at the fact that he was actually observing the page,not just looking over it. Even though it was a short moment when he took the time to observe it, it was clear that he was fond of snakes.

I closed the book cover and walked back to the shelf to place it back in its spot. '' By the way. Since you were asked to look over me, there is something I would like to request from you.''

The way I had laid that out was so formal and serious it seemed out of place for my character.

Retsu stood straight and had a serious expression as well. Almost too serious, as if implying that : 'Do you really have something so important to ask of _Me_? '

'' Yes, Miss? '' He replied without any delay.

'' I want you to teach me how to read and write in this language.'' I turned to face him and he seemed astonished. Clearly not in a way that you would see it being displayed on his face, but he fell silent for too long.

'' You're asking me? Isn't Master Illumi your tutor. '' His voice was still steady and serious.

'' Yes ..well. He won't be tutoring me in that category I'm sure. So I'm asking while I still have the time to do it.''

For a while I didn't hear an answer from his end. Clearly knowing that he was probably thinking over this idea in all seriousness. But then again, I didn't get my hopes up for receiving help from these people.

Thinking that they were butlers who were hired to serve these people, it was unlikely that I would be apart of that group. But I had to try either way.

With a long delay, I figured he kept quiet to not express any rude thoughts, so I huffed and turned around. ''It's fine then, I will mana..''

'' There will be no problem, I just have to notify Mater Illumi about this.''

When I heard those words I stopped for a moment, thinking it over. ''_Did I really get permission to study? ..Wow..I didn't...that's just, amazing.''_ I felt over joyed and when I turned around it was as if my face was sparkling. Though I tried to keep that overflowing emotion stuffed in.

I clapped my hands together and entwined my fingers, looking at him with hope shimmering in my eyes. '' Really? Dude! Thank you. That's awesome.'' The way I had expressed myself, surprised even me and I quickly lowered my hands and felt embarrassed.

'' I ugh-mean thank you. I will look forward to that. '' I unpocketed the noter which thankfully displayed time. '' Ah, uhm sorry. I have to get back to work, but when ever you have the time, I'll get myself ready. I suppose you already know where to find me either way. ''

He nodded and bowed a little. '' Yes.''

Having his approval, I quickly made my way down the stairs with a paper stack that I grabbed from the table. Making my way to the other side of the library I found a cabinet that was basically a full built in drawer. It was the perfect place to store loose paperwork.

''_Man that was embarrassing...good thing I managed with a clean get-a-way. But I'm so happy that I'll get to understand things soon. It's too confusing to be able to just speak the language.''_

I kept myself busy while numbering the random pages in my hand and putting them in the different boxes.

''_Either way, if I'm gonna end up being given away to some freaks in an organization, or just thrown out, I want to be able to do something to keep myself going. And not understanding this world would be a big problem, if I have to manage by myself. I don't think I can prepare myself for everything. I just can't expect to know what will happen. All I can do, is hold on to the worst situation that could come my way.''_ I sighed and looked behind me.

''_Or if I'm dead it won't matter anyway..''_

It casually took me more time in organizing the papers than I thought, so by the time when I was done, and checked on the time again, it was already past twelve in the night.

''_ahh, fuck. I didn't even make it to dinner. But I guess I haven't felt that hungry to notice.''_

My silent moment was broken when I heard the gigantic library door open and I felt uneasy the moment I felt that aura creep on to my back.

I didn't want to turn around, but something was telling me that I had to.

Did Illumi finally get the news about me wanting to study? I'm sure he wouldn't bother bringing himself here otherwise.

'' So. You think you have the time for idle chit-chat and asking for favors from our butlers?''

I felt shivers going up my spine, and I didn't even have to turn around to know that he was approaching closer to me, not too fast and not too slow. And it was fairly creeping me out.

'' I think we've been rather subtle with you being here. So if you really do have all that free time on your little weak hands, then I'm pretty positive that you wouldn't mind taking up a few favors from me, now would you? ''

I knew he was standing right behind me even if I didn't hear him walking and it made it all the more harder for me to turn around and face him.

I swallowed hard before turning around and meeting his gaze. That overly peering emptiness in his eyes had me rooted to the ground and I found no way out of this. When I tried to free my throat from that petrifying grasp he had on me, I had to cough a little. '' ahah ha, of-of course, what-could you possibly need from someone like me.'' I tried to laugh off that nervousness and force a smile on my face while facing him.

'' Well since you asked. I seemed to have misplaced some important tools in our garden. And I'm quite busy myself. So I know that you will go and get them for me. '' He didn't move and inch, but it always seemed as if he was getting closer and closer.

That smile froze on my face and my eyes were wide as a gold fish. '' I-isn't it a little too dark to go out to search for your items, ..sir? ''

'' Not at all. We have lighting on most parts of our land. And don't worry, I have faith in you that you will complete this task without failing. Am I right?'' He folded his hands neatly and stared down at me.

I closed my eyes and narrowed my eyebrows, nodding repeatably, while still having that frozen smile planted on my face. '' No problem at all. You can count on me.''

'' Wonderful. I'll expect those items by six in the morning. You don't need to bother to find me, '' he turned around and started to walk off before giving a last comment, :'' I'll find you instead.''

That last part seemed more like a threat than a visit to ease my search for him.

When he had left the library I notice that I had hugged the papers against my chest a little too hard and they were all crumpled together.

Immediately straightening them out and stuffing the rest of them in the drawers as well made me think over what I had just agreed to do. '' I need to find his stuff...but he didn't even say what I need to find..tools? Are you kidding me. What kind..''

There were at least ten types of tools I could imagine a normal person using, but since it's not a normal person were talking about here, the list can be never ending.

''_I guess I just need to pick up w/e I see in my way..''_ I turned to walk towards the library door while still being deep in thought.

''_..what exactly will happen if I don't find the right things..''_

* * *

**AHHH. so much to do and plan, but don't worry, I haven't abandoned this story. How could I. After all, it's my own little world that I would like to live in.**

**But well, here's a small chapter that shows one or two characters that are going to be shown more frequently.**

**Along with most of the main characters from HxH, these two twins are going to be one of the mains in my story.**

**And as always I'm glad and happy to see so many new people finding their way to my story and actually having interest in it. This is going to take a long time before it gets down to the main plot, but before that, I have set up scenes that make it just as interesting.**

**The biggest problem for me is that I hope to manage to keep the characters in line. I usually have so many other useless ideas running in my head that I hope that I don't make things too confusing.**


	12. Chapter 12 - Toxin

**Toxin**

'' _He said garden.. isn't the whole mountain area their back yard ? My god. I don't even have the strength to stand, not even a drop of nen power in me, and he wants me to go around this place, in search for his items? Are you fucking kidding me.''_ It had taken me at least around thirty minutes to get outside, because I was unable to open the doors by myself, so searching for a butler in this place was like trying to find a penguin in Africa.

Not only was I irritated with Illumi, but the fact that I had not asked him for more details, irked me more than the first problem.

For now I had been going around high and low in the garden.

Searching under every rock and flowerpot, along with climbing statues and more humongous flowerpots. There was also a small greenhouse that I found behind a wild mountain of bushes, and first took my time in looking at every corner and crack in a rock I could find. When I took the time to observe the structure, I couldn't help but admire it.

The shape of the building was round like a dome, and the glass was shaded dark so you couldn't see inside. It did, on the other hand, aside from its simple look, have thin metal columns surrounding the dome with a tree root type of a roof entwined above it.

Since the glass reflected what was outside, you could see how the stars shined and reflected over the dark glass through the metallic roof. It looked like a place you would only find in games, and which usually had treasures hidden inside of them.

But I couldn't loose focus here. I had already wasted a lot of time in wondering around aimlessly, trying to find what ever it was that Illumi wanted me to find.

So far I haven't found anything. I'm pretty sure that even if they do leave their stuff lying around, someone was bound to come and take care of that.

I walked around the greenhouse until I found the glass door and looked around to see if it was locked.

Like everything else around this greenhouse, the door handle was also made of shiny reflecting metal and was really cool to the touch.

Sadly it was locked, and most of my curiosity died with the locked door.

'' I wouldn't go in there if I was you.'' I heard a low deep voice speak up just when I had let go of the handle infront of me.

I turned around to see Zeno approaching from the distance and I realized that I had tried to enter someones personal domain. Feeling embarrassed I immediately stepped away from the greenhouse and placed my hands behind my back, to give a modest bow before he stopped in his tracks.

'' I'm so sorry. I didn't intend to do anything, I just let my curiosity get the best of me.. '' I was still bowing a little before looking up and continuing, '' It's just that Illumi had given me a task to find something for him.. so I didn't think about restricted areas.''

As Zeno listened to the end of my explanation, he calmly lifted one of his hands and shook his head a little, giving a soft smile before answering back, : '' It is completely fine. There are no restricted areas on Kukuroo mountain.''

'' ..oh.. i didn't ..''

'' It's just that the place is wired up with all kinds of traps and cameras, so it is simply not safe to wonder around. The household area, on the other hand, doesn't have much security set up, so this is the safest place to have a nice calm evening walk.'' He smiled back at me, seeing whether I understood or not.

I nodded softly while glancing back at the dark dome behind me.

'' Ah, but that, is one thing that I still advice you not to enter, unless you're accompanied by Illumi.''

The moment he said that I stiffened and took a step back from the structure. '' ..And what's so dangerous about it? '' I still kept my eyes on the dark dome form as I turned my head towards Zeno, as if trying to hear better what he was about to say.

'' That I do not know. You may call it Illumis workshop. He set it up years ago to practice on some work. His father approved of it, so it's non of my business.'' He then turned around and started to stroll down the gardens path towards the forest. '' But if you wish to observe inside, then you should come back at six in the morning. Illumi is the only one who can enter that place. He usually starts at that time.''

As he became more distant I was left standing there. ''_ Why would he give me that information so freely, it's like he wants to exploit about Illumis personal space.. Not liking that, I don't want to know unnecessary things about that guy.'' _

I suddenly remembered to reply and shouted back, : '' ah, Thank You, Sir!''

The forest area was covered in thick fog, so it didn't take long for him to disappear into the grey mist. When he was completely gone, I squinted my brows. '' .._Why would he go for a walk at two in the morning..''_

After giving up on the idea of what could be so important at this time of night, I turned back towards the greenhouse. ''_I'm pretty sure I don't want to find that out either.''_

I looked at it for the longest time before approaching it again. In all honesty, I did want to go in and check it out, but if this had something to do with Illumi, then it was for the best to stay away. Far, far, away. ''_There's no way in hell that I'm going in to that guys ''workshop'' . I'd rather eat rocks.''_ I stuffed my hands together infront of me under the long yukata sleeves and started to stomp off.

''_ Why did I even ask him to train me. Of all people Aru, of all people, him! I could of demanded to see Zeno, or anyone. Even Milluki dammit. But no. You had to go and be a smart ass of knowing everything about these guys.''_ As I was desperately arguing with myself, I suddenly froze in my spot and looked back.

'' ... I forgot.'' I turned around immediately and speed walked back towards the greenhouse.

I stopped right infront of it, panting heavily as I tried to catch my breath. ''_ That..was.. too much.''_ Bending down to rest my hands on my knees made me compose my thoughts as I rested on the spot for a short while. I raised my head to look at the structure and had a hopeless expression on my face. ''_ How am I supposed to get in here. I need to find those tools.. dammit, this evening. Why the bloody fuck do I have to find that retards equipment.''_ I let my head hang again, but managed to pick myself up and walk over to the glass dome.

I scanned over the surroundings and back at the handle, trying to open it once again.

Still locked.

''_ I guess I'll have to believe what Zeno told me about this place.''_

I turned around to face the garden and the mansion. Looking up at the sky, I saw only the small twinkles of bright, different colored stars. ''_This place, the world, actually is in another dimension. The sky looks too foreign..''_ Still having my gaze up in the sky, I decided to take the time off and rest, sliding down against the glass window and onto the grassy soft ground. It was a little moist, but that didn't bother me currently.

That small hope I had in retrieving what ever he wanted, was slowly starting to fade.

I sighed out when I felt the time pass slowly and I had no more energy to get up and search.

It stayed quiet in the surrounding area and I took that time to close my eyes and listen to the nature around me. Also leaning my head against the building made me relax even more, so now the chances of getting up at all were close to a zero.

''_ The air has a nice scent. ''_ I took a whiff of the air around me and enjoyed the lingering scent of the wilderness along with some burnt firewood. _'' I'm so going to regret this in a few hours..''_

Since there was practically not even a hint of drafting wind outside, the air around me stayed warm and quiet, which made me even more sleepier than my mind already was. Before, when I was still able to hear the trees rustle from the warm air currents in the distance, were now blocked out by my hazy mind.

As I kept inhaling the fresh scent the nature had to offer me, I kept drifting more and more into my sleep. I had no particular thoughts in my mind so the quiet surrounding did wonders for my body, since I was finally able to rest without worry.

It wasn't soon when I heard a silent rustle from a little further away from me.

Something was disturbing about the surroundings, but I didn't understand what. And I was still hearing that endless frail rustle from the wind.

As I tried to open my eyes I was blinded by the sudden light that flashed before my eyes. The light stung so I frowned and kept my eyes closed before bringing my hand up to my face to cover the light.

Once I managed to open my eyes I was immediately startled by the sudden appearance of the long haired man infront of me, squatting down and looking at me intensely. My body reacted on its own and curled up, throwing my hand infront of me, as if he was going to jump and attack me. '' ...why..what are you doing here..'' I was so confused I didn't know what to do or say, and the way he was just crouching on the ground so close to me made it even more weird. ''_Did I just wake up to the sound of his hair? ...how can that even..''_

I then noticed that the area was light, so I took a glance at the sky and saw that the sun was coming up.

My eyes widened and was stupefied by the realization. '' I fell asleep?! ...how..when. What's the time?'' I scattered around on the ground until I got myself to stand up and dust off the moist grass that had been sticking to my clothes, leaving some stains on those parts. As I was brushing the stands off I saw the stains and had to let out a silent grunt. ''_Great...''_

_''_The time is six in the morning.''

When I heard that, I stopped what I was doing and looked at him in sheer shock.

All the ideas that went through my head were enough to tell that Illumi knew that I was panicking, and all he did was sit there with a tiny smirk on his face.

I knew that that couldn't be good news.

''_How am I going to tell him that I wasn't able to find anything...he's going to throw me in the cellar.''_ I gulped from nervousness and kept my hands clawed to my yukata sleeves as I was trying to think up any possible excuse, but just as I was opening my mouth to say something, he stood up and raised a lazy hand to point at the building behind of me.

'' Do you know what that is? '' The smirk on his face was gone and he had his stoic expression back.

As I went over the sentence in my head again, I closed my gaping mouth and stood straight, dumbfound that he hadn't pointed out anything of my failure. '' that, uhm. A greenhouse? Or would you prefer a workshop..''

'' I see you've spoken to Zeno about this already. A studyroom is fine as well. Do you want to know what I do in there? ''

'' Is that a trick question? ..I am curious, but I'd rather not. ''

He started to step closer and I went out of his way to the side. He placed his hand on the door and it opened without any sign of effort. ''_ ..so it actually does only open for him. Is it built out of Nen? ''_ I peered inside out of curiosity and saw that the place was just as dim as it was outside. The glass was just as transparent as any, it only looked completely pitch black on the outside.

Inside there were stone stands going around the glass walls which were built up as a supporting base for all the equipment and tools for his work. The tools went from scissors and knives to all kinds of metal objects that were lined up on the left side of the room. The right side had weighing equipment and vales of different sizes and tones. Also a lined up row of plastic containers that had some eerie stuff in them.

The look of it all seemed like some random goo and I couldn't help but enter the room and look around. I walked over to the plastic container,leaning in to look at it. When I finally saw what they were I back away again and turned towards Illumi who had his back to me.

I kept looking back at the container and Illumi. '' ... ... are these..eyes? ''

'' Yes they are. Beautiful aren't they? I picked them up myself. '' He was saying that as if they were trophies and I couldn't help but have a shocked frown plastered on my face.

When I looked back at the eyes, I couldn't help but feel ailed by that information. I leaned up closer to them again and cocked my head to the right to see the color.

They were red. ''_ ... w-wait... aren't these eyes the ..''_ I stood back up immediately. Right after that I felt a firm grip on my hand that held me in place. When I turned to look I saw Illumi standing there, pulling down the yukata from my shoulder and piercing my upper arm with a thin sharp needle.

I panicked and wanted to push him off, but he literally had an iron grip on me, so trying to move only made it worse. Plus I realized if I actually squirmed too much I would probably break my skin with that needle still inside of my flesh.

'' The hell do you think you're doing!'' When I saw him injecting me with crimson red liquid I rushed to grab his arm for him to let me go. '' What is that!? STOP! Fucking let go of me! What the hell are you giving me!? '' Even if I tried to struggle, he didn't even shift a nano-inch.

'' It's an experiment. I'm only seeing if this will have any effect on you.'' He talked so casually as if I was getting my yearly medical shots.

'' AND? What the hell DID you inject me with!?'' I hadn't noticed the level to which my voice had risen to.

When he finally let my arm go I backed away fully against the door and looked over my arm several times from each angle, mostly at the spot where I saw a small red dot. I rubbed my hand and looked him straight in the eye, fuming with anger.

'' My blood, '' was all he answered.

The rage disappeared and I went pale as a ghost. '' You. What?! ARE YOU SERIOUS?'' I basically shouted so the whole place echoed after. '' Take it back! Immediately! Get it out of me!.. What kind of a sick experiment are you doing?!''

'' I can't remove it, it's already mixed with your blood.''

'' I don't care! Fucking remove it right this minute, Illumi! '' I was almost half way to cry-land, feeling desperate to get this poison out of my system. For that tiny moment when I was panicking nothing had happened. As I felt my heart rushing in my chest I began to calm down, seeing that nothing really was happening.

That of course didn't lighten my mood in any way. When I was done worrying for my own health, I looked back at Illumi, glaring at him for the longest time.

He on the other hand, didn't have any change in his mood. When he saw that nothing was changing in my state, he turned around and took the needle apart and placed it in a small container that then upon closing started to work. What it did, I had no idea.

For about five minutes I stayed quiet and didn't move from my spot. I was still keeping myself against the door and holding on to my arm. To be frank, I was rather freaked out, and the only way I was going to keep a cool head was to avoid useless activity and talking. Plus I wasn't going to leave without an explanation.

For some reason I wasn't feeling any calmer, I thought that if I stopped panicking and moving around my pulse would calm down, but it was the opposite. I felt myself burn up, like someone threw me in an oven. Slowly but surely, I felt my head spin and the colors before my eyes started to change. I swallowed hard, because it felt like my whole body was dehydrating and my whole body began to tremble.

I fell to my knees and held out my hands on the ground to keep my head composed and not drop entirely. '' ...what, did you do to me...'' I said with a frail quiet voice as I started panting. '' Illumi!''

When I looked up I only saw him staring down at me as if there was nothing wrong. He then approached me in slow steps and crouched down, still keeping his gaze on me. His hair curtained around his face as he came closer and stared into my eyes. At that moment I felt a jolt go through my heart and I grabbed my chest. '' ..s-stop..'' I managed to bring out in a pained voice.

He lifted his hand to bring my head up and look at him. My whole body was about to give up from the heat and the pain I was receiving.

'' What are you seeing,'' he said after peering into my eyes, still keeping a grip on my chin to make me look at him. I on the other hand didn't understand what he was implying to. I gritted my teeth as my vision was a complete mess and felt as if I was getting five heartbeats in a second.

'' Tell me. Aru. ''

I could only look at him with agony written all over my face. '' I- I don't...know. Everything's a..a mess.'' I tried to tell him through my gritted teeth and strained voice.

When he heard my pathetic excuse he retreated his face and closed his eyes. '' Do you know why you're in here.'' He opened his eyes again and I felt relieved all of a sudden. The heat I was feeling didn't perish though, but for now I could relax from the sudden experience.

'' I..don't understand. Is this 'cuz.. I didn't find what I was supposed to? '' I spoke up with that drained voice of mine.

He let go of my face and stood up to walk over to one of the veils on the table.

'' No. I opened your aura, it's not a punishment. For some reason you have a remarkable amount of energy fuming from your aura. It made me curious. Seems that I was right about you.''

I was listening to his story and somehow managed to sit on the floor and not get dizzy. I was not entirely following him so I stayed quiet to see if he would explain more.

'' The rush of energy you just felt was the pain that you received. It was a 50/50 chance, either you survive the pressure, or you die from it,'' he turned his way towards me, :'' congratulations, you lived.''

I was shocked to hear that, he did this without knowing what would happen to me. But of course, why would he care for that. '' So you wanted to satisfy your own curiosity and see what would happen if you activated your nen on me? ''

'' Bright, but yes. And if you know how nen works, you should understand how someone who's not able to activate it on their own, has to turn to someone else. That alone can kill someone if they can't stand the burden. ''

'' ...'' For now I fell silent. I knew about this, but had forgotten. There is a high risk when it comes to opening the aura nodes in your body. I had only thought of a natural way of getting through that stage, but Illumi went the short way, just to have fun with the idea of seeing the conclusion.

When I looked down at my hands, because I could still feel them shaking, I saw dark purple mist vaporizing from my body. I exclaimed in horror and stared down at my hands, bringing them up to look at them from both sides. '' .. why... isn't a persons aura supposed to be like mist and ..not toned? ''

'' If you keep letting it out, you'll die. ''

I was still gawking at my hands and felt lost. ''_ I don't know how to control this... I don't..know.''_

'' Do you want me to aid you? '' That question came from him like a mock, and I most certainly didn't want to answer him, nor ask him. '' If you don't learn to keep your energy in, you'll die.''

I brought myself to look at him and squinted my eyes. ''_ I fucking know that. You're enjoying this too much..''_

_'' _Tell me, what I need to do.'' I managed to mumble out in the lowest voice possible, feeling awfully embarrassed in having to turn to him like this.

'' Close your eyes. And stay silent.'' At first I felt more than eerie about that command, but decided it's this or nothing at all. I closed my eyes and only focused on myself.

He then continued, : '' Listen only to your surroundings. You have keen hearing, listen to your aura flow from your body. Now only focus on your aura and block everything out.''

I tried to focus on the sounds around me and relax while feeling the warm energy that was leaving my body. I then realized how much of it I was releasing. After focusing on my aura flow for ten minutes, it was the only thing I could feel around me entirely. It was calm and quiet, but I could feel that I grew more tired with each passing minute.

'' Do you feel the flow around ?''

I only nodded, not wanting to interrupt my focus from this.

'' Your aura is an extension of your body, like hair on your body, or the muscles under your skin. You can move and shape it anyway you want. But for now you need practice, and what any nen user needs to do is conceal their aura flow. Use the escaping aura to fuse and stick together.''

The tone of his voice was calming, so it was easy to listen to him while concentrating on my aura at the same time. I tried to feel the warm vaporizing energy around my hands and kept em next to me while I was sitting on the floor. I tried to think of each aura fragment as a electrons and protons that were leaving my body.

Time was slowing down for me so much when I focused on those particles alone. I wasn't sure how much time had passed for now, but I tried keeping my mind occupied in uniting the particles.

The formation began from the tip of my fingers, moving on to my palm area and over my entire hands. The closer I tried to get it to my body, the harder it became. I had to focus on a large amount of aura, and it was more complex than I had thought.

Keeping the already joined aura particles together, while working on the loose ones, was a real piece of work. When I felt the last fragments of my aura concealed, I felt as if I was covered by a microscopic net, that was keeping the other particles from leaving my body. It was then when I sensed that I wasn't growing tired anymore.

I opened my eyes to the sound of Illumi clapping slowly.

'' I didn't think you'd achieve that so fast, but sooner the better. Means we have the time to train you properly now.'' He moved a stool closer to him to sit down and look back at me again.

'' Let's begin.'' He grew a small grin on his face while leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees and lock his hands together, at the same time keeping a firm eye contact with me.

* * *

**So many ideas! So much to write and not enough time or hands T^T . Just when I start getting good ideas on how to continue with my story, there's too many of them piling up with different time periods of the story. So that takes up more time in uploading a chapter, because I can't miss not to write down something, else its going to be gone the next day.**

**BUT! YES! the story is now finally proceeding towards something. I had many versions of how Aru should finally have her nen awakened, but well, I chose this route.**


	13. Chapter 13 - Split

**Split**

'' Come on now you two, close that game already. Your father has a long work day tomorrow and if you keep that game on he will never get any sleep,'' said the woman with a nagging tone towards two youngsters.

'' In a minute mom, we need to pass this level or we'll never sleep!'' Said the two boys in sync, not paying much attention to their mother, who was now picking up clothes from the floor and trying to get other objects and toys away from her feet.

'' Seriously, you two. Some day you're going to have rats live under these piles if you don't clean it up.'' The young mother looked at her sons with hopeless eyes, but soon gave up and smiled to herself, walking towards the corridor. '' I will be back to check on you two in five minutes,'' she paused, : '' but if you're not done in that time, i will cut your snacks for a week.'' That cold tone of her left the two boys frozen. Slowly they turned around in shock.

'' What!?'' exclaimed the boy on the left.

'' Mom you can't do that!'' The other one continued and almost threw the game controller to the side in disbelief.

'' Oh I can. I'm the one who buys the food supplies, remember? Maybe one day when you have your own money, you wont have to worry about me not getting you stuff. '' Her face showed the kindest smile, but you could tell that she was fuming with undignified aura, scheming.

The two boys only looked at her as if the world was about to end for them.

''W-we got it! We will finish right now!'' Said the boy on the left and hurried off the floor to close the tv and close the light.

The other ran in the opposite direction towards a closet, throwing a pair of pajamas at the other, and keeping a pair in his own hands.

They both hurried to change their clothes while their mother eyed them with interest in how fast that had escalated. The room was kept in the dark and it was rather chilly from the frosty winter, that was creeping closer with every hour. As they changed, slight chicken skin could be seen visible on their hands and legs, as they tried to hurry into their sleeping clothes.

Having finished with their changing they went straight out of the room to the right and ran in to the bathroom. Only a few moments later, water splashing and brushing could be heard echoing through the hallway. A thin amount of steam could be seen evaporating from the doorway of the bathroom.

She smiled, closing her eyes and turning out of her sons room and walking down the corridor to the opposite side of the bathroom, going down the stairs. She knew very well that they would head straight to bed after that and that she didn't need to bother for the night.

After having done some cleaning up down stairs, of what was left on the table after dinner, the woman retired to the sofa where her husband was already watching late night movie programs.

''Are we really gonna watch horror? Don't you think that will wake up the boys.'' She said after walking up and sitting down next to the man, snuggling close.

'' Oh comon, they're on the second floor. Do you really think that would bother them. Rather it should be you they need to worry about. You scream even when a dog runs past you.'' The guy chuckled, snaking his hand around her shoulder and holding her close.

'' Haa!? T-that's only when I don't see it, the tv on the other hand, is right in front of me!'' Her pride was getting in the way so she did everything to fight him off.

Chuckling again, the man kissed her on the head slowly and softly, then facing the tv to look at the screen. '' But that didn't stop you from screaming when ever I was facing you.''

She unconsciously nodded, being pulled in by the images on the screen, when she realized what he had meant by that. Having realized that, showing shame and shock at the same time, she answered: '' You! Shush! So damn shameless as ever!'' She tried to sound threatening while giving a soft slap against his head.

The man couldn't help but quietly laugh at that as he placed his hand on top of her head, bringing her in closer so she could lean on him more comfortably. ''Yes, I still own that charming side of me.'' Chuckling it off they both turned to concentrated on the movie.

* * *

It was uncomfortable to sleep. When I finally came out of my slumber I turned to the side to look at the beeping light of the clock. '' _three in the morning..'' _I mumbled a little while setting myself to sit on the bed to look across the room. ''_brother's still sleeping.. should I wake him.''_

I looked around the pitch black room, having only a small dim glow coming through the window.

It was a full moon night, '' uhhh.._not that dark, maybe I can go myself... ..''_

I rubbed my eyes and it still took a moment before removing the cover.

Again I had an uneasy feeling while looking at the door to our room. The thought of stepping a foot out of my bed still frightened me. I knew I shouldn't, there's nothing there. But something about this dim hue in the room just spooked me out.

''_Shouldn't I be old enough by now, there are no stupid monsters in the night..'' _That left me thinking and I automatically looked towards my brother, who was peacefully sleeping under the warm blanket. ''_I wish I was as brave as him. He's never scared of anything.''_

But my fear was overrun by the sudden need to go to the bathroom. Having realized that whether or not I wanted to leave our room, I will eventually have to go anyway. Because, unlike me, my bladder will definitely not wait so eagerly for the morning to come.

I stood next to my bed side quietly and moved towards the other bed. The thought of actually waking him up or not was coming to an end as I felt the pressure rise in my lower part.

I needed to go, and now.

By now I looked like some dancing puppet who was doing a really bad performance. Abandoning the plan of waking up my brother and running towards the door, was my top priority now.

I rushed out of the door as quietly as I could and ran down the hall to the bathroom, having closed the door a little too roughly.

In that second I panicked, wondering if I woke up the whole house with that loud bang, but threw that problem aside. Business had to be taken care of first.

As ever, the best feeling of having a release, filled my body and I finally felt like I could relax again. But that also brought along a problem of having to go back to our room in the abyss dark hallway, which didn't have any lighting shining in from anywhere. The idea of leaving the only area that was light up, didn't sound so pleasing anymore.

For a moment I looked at the door frame like a helpless puppy. I couldn't bring myself to move my legs from where I was standing.

I gripped on to the edge of my shirt and put on a sour face. '' Cmon you big baby. This is our home. There isn't anything here, never was and never will be.''

Taking slow steps towards the doorway, I somehow managed to bring up the courage and take slow steps into the never ending darkness. But now that I was actually venturing back in the shadows I couldn't help but feel my stomach turn and my walk turned into a speed walk. And as soon as I reached the bedroom door, I ran in, shut the door and sprinted back in the bed as if there was a raging mad dog behind me.

I covered my head under the blanket and waited a good couple of minutes before looking out form under the covers, seeing that everything was still quiet, my brother sleeping and the blue moonlight glowing in from behind the curtains.

I still felt the creepy shivers crawling on my skin. Having thoughts of all kinds of evil creatures lurking in the darkness, maybe even beings that I couldn't see.

After realizing the horrid thoughts I was coming up with I quickly shook my head and duck under the covers. And even though I had freaked myself out just a while ago, I somehow managed to close my eyes and turn to my side and drift to sleep.

I wasn't sure how long I was out for, but I could hear faint noises coming from down stairs. Someone was talking. Usually that meant that mom and dad were up, so I shifted around in my bed, removed the cover and opened my eyes slowly. Strangely enough, it was still dark outside.

I frowned and got confused. ''_ Why would dad be up so soon.''_ When I looked towards my brothers bed I also saw him getting up and rubbing his sleepy face with both hands.

'' What's all the noise..'' he said with a very tired voice while still rubbing his eyes.

'' I TOLD YOU! I don't want to go back there! I already declined that offer years ago!'' A loud voice could be heard again from the distance down stairs. It was dad. But who was he talking to in such a furious way and at this hour.

Me and my brother both looked at eachother, both trying to listen and see if there was anything else. There was faint mumbling, but it got quiet again.

We still both gazed at eachother, not really sure how to act in this situation. Should we go check, or was it better to stay here in our safe little room. Then we heard a loud crash and we jumped in our bed, having shocked and scared faces on our faces.

'' GET OUT! I don't want anything to do with you people! SWEETIE! Go ..nd t..ke .. .. ds .. '' As we tried to listen again the voice of our father, who was still down stairs, got quiet again.

It wasn't soon after when we heard a terrible screeching scream come from down stairs, followed by a loud thud, as if something hit the floor. We both immediately knew that it was our mother. My brother looked furious while I was on a peak of breaking into tears.

'' HUN! Keep it together! WE CAN FIX THIS! Just.. d..r ..od..'' The voices were going back and forth from weeping and screaming.

I was frozen in my spot and neither of us understood what was going on. My brother jumped out of the bed and sneaked towards the door to creak it open a little. I knew as much as he did, that going out of the room wasn't the smartest thing to do. So we waited. While we knew something was horribly wrong with our parents, dad always did say, if anything did happen, we were to stay in our room. This world was not filled with good people and one could be stronger than the other, like monsters.

Our silent trail of thought was disturbed when we heard footsteps running up from the stairs. Brother was still on the lookout when he heard a high pitch voice, that belonged to our mother, wail out in tears. '' Please don't! You already got him! Why do you need to do this to us! PLEASE! NO! WA..AAHHHH!''

As my brother looked out of the door, he was frozen in place. The sight of our mother in fear, running up the stairs, hoping to find safety, had a metallic sword like object pierced through her gut. My brothers eyes were wide from the cruel display.

Our mother dropped on the wooden ground with her back, the blood splatting against the surface and her skin. She had the crimson thick liquid ooze out of her mouth while she was trying to gasp for air. Her head was shot back from the pain, coughing out a large amount of blood in the process. Her eyes shot open at the hallway as she felt her life slipping, scratching and gripping the wooden ground below her. She then saw a darkening figure of her child by the door, my brother. She took all the strength she had left in her numb dying body and mimicked her lips in silence, trying to spell out: '' Run..''

My brother saw that effort; being frozen on the spot by fear and disbelief. He was shaking, tears running down his face in a silent sob.

That small request from the dying person who was laying in the pool of blood, who was our mother, made him paralyzed for such a long time, it felt like years had passed, still having to see the view of our own mother being slaughtered right in front of him.

He shot the door as fast as he could. He locked it and ran to the desk to grab a chair and pushed it against the door and under the door handle, so there was at least something to block the entrance.

'' What happened! What happened to mom!'' When I saw him keeping the door closed in such a way I couldn't help but get up and panic. '' Mom was there! Why did you close the door! Nii!'' But after I saw the burning anger in my brothers eyes I shut up, he ran my way and kept his hand over my mouth so I wouldn't make a sound.

'' There's someone bad there. And they...they hurt mom. She told us to run! We have to get out! NOW!'' He shouted in a whispering way, trying not to attract attention to who ever that person was outside of our door.

Both of our heads shot at the door when we heard the handle being rattled. I started panting and panicking. I grabbed my brothers hands and almost wanted to break into tears and cry. '' N-Nii, we're .. we're gonna d-die..'' I tried keeping my voice quiet, but it was hard enough to say anything.

'' NO! Listen! You remember when we went to that camp with uncle? And he taught us how to make rope knots?'' He held onto my arms while looking me in the eye. I nodded in return while still hiccuping from the rush of panic and fear.

'' Come here! '' he said, after pulling on my hand towards the closet. He then pulled out a very long thick rope. '' Uncle gave this to us if we ever wanted to keep practicing.'' He pulled it out completely and ran to the window and pushed it open. '' We can tie it around the table and climb down! Hurry! ''

After he had said that, I saw new hope, we can actually make it out of here. I nodded in approval and ran next to him to help him make a nice tight knot around the table so it wouldn't get loose when we had to climb down the second floor. Brother took the other end of it and threw it out of the window.

We both jumped when we hear the door being shot at. Both of us got cold feet and I could feel my heart speeding up from the fear that was coming back. I grabbed a hold of my brothers shirt and we both squatted down on the ground. I was desperatly trying to hold back my sobs, because I didn't want that monster to know we were in here.

Unfortunately, that small hope of them not finding us was crushed when we saw the door being kicked in. The chair broke and slid across the room against my bed. The handle was ripped off from the kick and the door was now wide open.

I dug my face in my brothers shirt and started trembling and sobbing out loud. ''_ I don't want to die.''_

_''_WHO ARE YOU?! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?'' I heard my brother yell out in terror, while wrapping his arms around me to keep me close.

There was no answer from the other side though. I could only hear light footsteps entering our room.

When I turned my distressed eyes, that were red from all the crying now, towards the doorway, I did not see a huge frightening man with a weapon. All I managed to see was a really short person. They had long shoulder lenght hair and the person was covered in black tight clothes. The person couldn't be much older than us. It was a kid.

I suddenly felt my brother pull me up and he shook me slightly; I snapped out of my thoughts.

'' We have to get out now! Go first!'' He pushed me towards the window. I didn't know what to do, my limbs weren't moving at all. Everything was happening so soon.

'' GO!'' He shouted at me. I then managed to climb on top of the table and reach my legs out of the window, holding onto the rope.

But as I was about to climb out entirely, turned to see if my brother was right behind me, I only saw him standing in the room. My eyes widened and I yelled out to him, : '' NII! COME ON, WHY ARE YOU STILL IN THERE!?''

'' This person won't let us go just like that, '' he told me, turning his head towards me, : '' I have to stay here and keep him back.'' He smiled after saying that.

My frown grew bigger as I realized what he was saying. He wasn't coming. '' WHAT ARE YOU SAYING! NII! COME ON WHILE YOU STILL CAN. NII!'' I was trembling and crying out to him, I reached out my hand to him while having tears streaming down my face. I felt hysterical and hopeless.

I was suddenly alarmed when I saw the stranger walking towards my brother. I shot my eyes wide and yelled out, : ''NII!''

Everything happened so fast. By the time I blinked again, the strange young person was gone from his spot. I tried eyeing around until I saw movement around my brother and focused on that spot. Dark crimson liquid could be see forming on my brothers back, having moonlight reflect on its slow dripping.

My brother hadn't made a sound, but he was just standing there, with a big sharp object thrust through his abdomen that came out of his back.

My mind was black and it was as if time had stopped. ''_This..can't be.''_

Everything was quiet. Only the soft sounds of the forest could be heard. The wind drifting by and the ice cold air that was hitting against my bare feet.

I was shocked and I couldn't move. The stranger was right against my brother, holding that thing inside of him. He got my brother. He hurt him.

It wasn't until then, when the person started pulling the object out from his gut, when my brother started coughing and screaming in pain.

He had waited for my brother to snap out of the shock of pain for him to feel it. It was sickening. There was blood seeping out from both side and all I could hear were the screams, pants and sobs of my only family left. His shirt was inked in red and it was dripping down on his legs.

When the kid started moving back away from my brother, I had movement return to my body and I quickly scattered back from the window and jumped back in the room, desperately screaming my brothers name.

He fell down on his knees and I could hear him coughing and panting, then falling flat against the floor on his stomach. It hurt to see him, my mind was dying and I felt as if everything good in this world had left me.

I managed to make it next to him, crawling on the side in the still warm blood. My legs, clothes and hands were covered in it.

I held out and turned him over. His eye were half lidded, his face was pale and he was barely breathing; coughing more than anything else. I couldn't hear anything else aside from my own sobs and cries for my brothers life.

His hazy eyes moved around and made their way to my face, he looked at me with that dead look in his eyes. I gritted my teeth and hugged him, still wailing in despair.

'' W-khh why ddn't, yo-u r-run,'' he managed to say inbetween his weak gasps for air and the coughing. His body was already shaking from the huge blood loss and it felt cold to the touch. My mind was clogged with hysteria and I didn't know what to do or say.

'' How was I going to leave you nii! HOW! Why ... '' I started crying more and I felt as if my heart was going to break. '' why did you not... why.'' I tried saying in a whispering tone. '' We could of.. c-could of made it.. .. nii..'' I looked at him in the eye, not even being able to see his face clearly because of the water that never stopped to fall from my eyes. Those tears ran down his face which cleaned up the trails of blood that were left on his face to dry.

For a moment there was no movement and I stared back at his blank face.

'' Nii? '' I waited.

There was no answer, not even a breath.

'' NII! Open your eyes nii!'' My voice was so out of it, that I didn't even know if I was breathing anymore. '' NII YOU CAN'T! PLEASE.. nii..'' my words were mixed in my sobs and I felt all sanity leave me. '' NIII! W-HA WHY.. NII.'' I shook him, wanting for him to get up so we could leave this horrible place. I buried my face in his chest and cried out.

* * *

'' Before I start explaining on how to actually work with Nen, I will tell you a few things that you don't know about your current body. This will effect your training extremely, so I won't have you half-assing this.''

The way he was explaining it sounded more like a threat than a warning. But since he started out this way, I couldn't help but feel a little curious as to what could be so troubling about my state.

'' Your Nen is unique. Almost as close to as Alluka's. After Alluka used a great amount of his powers, there appeared to be signs of others alike. There aren't many, but they still exist. These beings who's energy can't be measured, they are not from this place. Also to satisfy your curiosity in why I had to do that experiment, was because you saw the dome. Normal hunters aren't able to see it, because their Nen only stays at a limit. But people like Alluka and you, can. Even though you have not had any training to even be able to use Nen, the unlimited amount of energy that surrounds you is enough to let you see it. It's like a natural reflex to you. '' He sat there with his legs crossed,leaning his head on his hand, which was resting against his knee. His head was a little tilted so it gave him a bored look.

''_So that's why he's so keen on keeping me here under his watchful eye... he wants to test his little things on me..Great.''_ I was sad to know that I had to take lessons from this guy, rather from Killua who knew more about Alluka and the dangers.'' You mentioned that there were others alike? How did they come here if they're not from around here..'' I crossed my legs while sitting on the floor and leaned back on my arms a little.

'' That we haven't looked into.''

'' What about Alluka then? Wasn't he born into this world?''

'' He was, unfortunately, even I haven't been told why Alluka is possessed by another being. It would help me if I knew,'' he said waving his other hand in denial.

My expression didn't change for now, but this only made me have more questions. '' _Either he knows, and he just won't share that with me, or he actually doesn't. In any case, it has always bothered me how Alluka can be like this and who Nanika is exactly .''_

I figured, maybe if he wasn't going to tell me directly, he'd at least have a little more knowledge about this matter. ''_He's not that stupid for fucks sake_.''

'' But considering that you don't know. Haven't you tried to figure something out? Isn't it a little too weird for two beings to co-exist in one body? What if something went wrong or interfered while Alluka was born, something that made this being having to live in Alluka forcefully..''

'' You can have all the assumptions you want. If you think I haven't tried proving those theories, you're wrong. Father banned me from looking into it, so that's where I stopped. I wouldn't suggest for you to start digging things up. It's more than likely that you'd be fast to be exposed of, _if _you did find anything.''

Even though I still remained composed as before, my insides on the other hand were almost frozen and turning inside a blizzard. I didn't want to find out what would happen if I went snooping around for information that even Illumi wasn't allowed to know. I doubt that Milluki would care to know, and everyone else was too young to even know anything of this subject.

But trying to avoid that subject I went back to the matter at hand. '' Why would the amount of energy that I have be dangerous to my training though? Shouldn't it be a good thing?''

'' In most cases it would, but if you don't learn to master your own power or keep it under control, you might end up loosing yourself to it and self-destruct. That's why you can't be trained with a normal Nen teacher. People don't exactly see this every day and if dealt with wrong, you might just end up killing yourself and people around you.''

''_I guess studying Alluka gave you that privilege.'' _Even if I knew that it was the wrong thing to think about, I was rather grateful for the fact that they had Alluka to analyse in this department. For all that was good in this world, I deeply hoped that they hadn't done anything weird to him. But knowing that Killua looked after Alluka, made some doubts fade away.

But that reminded me, what time was I in. What was the current date of this world.

'' Illumi.''

The only response I got from him was him staring at me and cocking his head a little.

'' How old are you now?'' After I had asked that there was a small moment of silence before he answered me back.

'' You're not a very smooth talker, are you ?''

I irked a brow and balled up my fists on the ground, having to answer him back from annoyance. '' . .I.. wasn't going for that. Thank you very much.'' I looked back at him while getting that ridiculous idea out of my head that he had just asked me that. '' What I'm trying to know is! How many years has it passed since...the time I recall..''

'' Ahhh, that makes things simpler.'' He lifted a finger, pointing it out like he didn't have a clue.

''_What the hell were you thinking ...weirdo.''_

'' I'm currently 27.''

'' HA!? ...three years? _I thought it would be more.''_ I sighed out and lowered my head. ''_Hisoka must be pushing 30 by now... that is so old..'' _For a short moment I looked him over as if trying to look for any sign of aging. _''_ No wonder you don't look a day older ... still the same creepy look as ever._ Though I doubt that that will change much ...''_

'' Also it's because Nen doesn't let people age that fast.''

I looked away as he said that, having completely forgotten that small fact as well. ''_This isn't Earth anymore..people aren't meant to be normal here. But man..I've missed out three years ...What has everyone been up to..''_

'' Are you done analyzing me? '' was all he said and I almost choked on my own breath when he said that and started coughing.

'' Wha-t .. no.. .. I mean, '' I shook my head and tried to inhale slowly, '' I wasn't, I was just thinking. God. .. .. Who would..''

'' Hm.. .. how rude.'' He sat back up straight, still keeping a firm look on me.

For a moment I glared at him until I gave up and tilted my head back and sighed out. '' Anyway..Should there be anything else I need to know?''

'' You need to train constantly, even when you're asleep. If you don't want to end up without a limb, or maybe even a room or a ground, then I suggest you learn to keep your aura in, it can kill you. ''He lifted a lazy finger towards me. ''.. right now you're leaking from the back.''

I blinked my eyes wide open and shot my head over my shoulder, immediately seeing how my aura was evaporating from my upper back. Checking over other parts around me, I could confirm that it was only my back that had opened. I sat up straight, breathing in and out slowly to concentrate.

I only kept my eyes closed for a few seconds before opening them again. If I wanted to get used to this aura as a part of me, I needed to feel it as a natural thing. I knew that working with this was still going to be difficult, but sooner or later I had to see it work out somehow; to activate it, mend it, and form it into different shapes. After all, I wasn't Gon or Killua, who managed to work with their Nen so fast.

I tried taking the collapsed parts of the aura net and let it capture the small particles that were leaving me; like a bleeding wound healing itself. As soon as I noticed, it's as if nothing had happened. Though it bothered me that I was still able to see the purplish glow around my skin.

'' Is there any way for me to make my aura ...not this color? I don't want to be standing out.''

'' You won't have a problem after you've learned to conceal it perfectly. Don't think about useless things right now.''

'' Eehm.. ano.. what about finding out which nen class I belong to?'' I suddenly had remembered that I wouldn't be able to train towards something if I didn't know which were the best options for me.

'' You don't need that, you're a Specialist. Given your current situation it's not hard to tell. But you should still think about an ability.'' He turned around after saying that and took out a notebook, which he started writing in. ''Oh and, you can go and rest. That luxury ends when you get up.''

''_Why thank you..''_ I didn't say anything back though. I only managed to get myself up with a small struggle for balance, before opening the door. My head was dizzy for some reason.

'' Oh and,'' I had to look back to see that he turned his head towards me to say some final words, : ''For starters, since you like being busy and learning new things. I want you to keep activating your Nen, dissolving that barrier and making it appear again. Right now, even a fly can break it.''

After that I gave him an annoyed bored look and walked out of that depressing creepy place.

In that short time when I had stepped outside, I had suddenly grown tired. I felt stress and pressure leaving me, which was a pleasant feeling. ''_ I guess having to be near him and on guard can wear a person out.''_

'' Khm. Miss.'' I heard a voice say from the distance to my left, I turned towards that to see the red haired butler.

'' Ah, Katsu, Good morning!'' I turned towards him, giving a soft bow and keeping my hands together from the front. He lifted a brow at my politeness, but before getting lost in his thoughts he placed his right hand over his chest and bowed.

'' Good morning.'' He straightened his back and placed the hand behind his back again.

He seemed emotionless as ever, almost like Illumi, but this was on a different level. While Illumi only kept himself from showing anything, this person seemed simply empty, as if he didn't harness any emotion what so ever. But as always, I never let a persons looks bother me.

When most people would be disturbed even by the slightest little difference in someone, then I wouldn't pay much attention to that part. I kept the information to myself and only tried to conclude the reasons why a person might be like that. Growing up as a kid can do alot of harm to someones mental stability if not taken care of. So the only reason why I never bothered to question someone, was because I knew that everyone had a past which shapes a person into who they are.

But after my little trail of thought had passed I got snapped out of it when Katsu finally stepped forward.

'' You requested for a language study if there was free time, Miss? ''

His emotionless cold look never once left my eyes as he looked down at me. That alone left me a little uncomfortable, but I tried to reassure myself that since I haven't seen him act or look any differently, maybe he can't help but be this way. '' Ah, yes I did. .. .. But I don't want to bother you with anything that is not worth your time. I only bothered your brother with that because he said that he was asked to look after me at times.''

'' There won't be any trouble. It's breakfast time. If I may, I suggest to take something edible along, by the looks of it, you do not seem to be rested.''

'' Oh, no no, it's fine, really. I don't want to pass this moment, you already brought yourself here.''

Katsu then stepped aside, moving his hand towards the sidewalk, waiting for me to go first.

'' We will go through the dining room first. In two hours you will have training will Illumi, so I have prepared a short study program for today.''

I looked back at him with uncertainty. '' I will have training with him today? ... oh god. _There goes my sleep he so kindly offered._''

'' Yes. He said it is better to start sooner than wait around for you to get comfortable.'' He walked behind me in a pace I did not hear, but by now I knew which direction to go to.

''Sounds like him alright. _I did not expect this so soon...I'm gonna die.''_

* * *

**I thank all of you who have been putting up with this up until now. When winter came, i didn't know how to build up this chapter. I knew I had to put in some part so it wouldn't be just another day. So I hope this gives a small light in your path how ones past looked like. And yes I feel like a major d*ck for not uploading. SO I DEEPLY APOLOGIZE. *bows and hands out gingerbread cookies***


	14. Chapter 14 - Bloodlust test

**Bloodlust test**

After going through the dining area and bringing small easily digestible food items along with a drink, Katsu and I walked down a rather long hall way, turning here and there every now and then. It made me a little worried, because I knew I had limited time for studying.

Just as I was about to open my mouth and ask we entered a room. A rather dull wooden room to be exact. It had four walls, a big open window with dark blue curtains, a light desk with necessary items on it, a bed in the left corner and a closet. It looked like a room for a soldier rather than someone, well, living in the Zoldyk household. I wasn't going to complain though. It was a simple room.

'' You may sit at the desk. I'll prepare your material.'' Katsu said calmly as he walked towards a small drawer near the desk and started taking out paperwork.

I made my way to the chair and sat down, looking over the wooden surface. As Katsu put papers and other notes on the table, I searched for a pencil or a pen out of habit.

'' Here.'' I heard him say as I directed my gaze towards him. He held out a pen and I took it.

'' Thank you!'' I smiled and started looking through the paper material.

'' These sheets here are for you to practice. I had them printed out so it should be easy to follow on what you have to do. When ever you go on to a new letter I will pronounce it for you. You'll have a word as an example for the first main letter, later you'll have sentences. It won't be hard. Once you memorize the letters it should be easy since you can speak fluently.'' As he was explaining this I was looking at the papers at what exactly he was mentioning. Everything made sense. All I had to do was memorize and learn to write the letters properly. ''_This will help along with so many things. I'm so happy!''_

'' Thank you Katsu! I'll do my best since you're helping me so nicely.'' I smiled out of gratitude and started looking at the practice sheet.

Time went by and he guided me through all the letters. It was impossible for me to remember everything right now. I was still tired from before so my mind didn't process things that well. The alphabet wasn't much different from ours and Japanese. It was a little bit of both. Some letters just couldn't be individually because of how the words have been formed in this language throughout time. It would just take me time to memorize them.

I was done for now and had twenty minutes left before having to meet up with Illumi again. I took my practice sheets and had Katsu guide me back to my room. I put the papers on my table and ran in the bathroom, combing my hair and brushing my teeth. I quickly washed my face and went out of my room with the effort in getting the door open since Katsu had stuff to do and of course these doors don't stay open by themselves.

I walked in a fast pace towards the staircase when I suddenly stopped because someone appeared from the corner on top of the stairs. I was about to apologize when I noticed the tall figure being awfully familiar. I eyed him for a second before getting a responsive look from him.

'' .. H-hisoka?'' I mumbled out as I was still staring at him.

His eyes had that dangerous narrow look as he gave a held back smile and walked towards me.

'' Hm, my. You must be Illumis new toy. Aren't you a tiny fragile being.'' His smirk grew as he was standing in front of me. And as he said those last words it put a frown on my face.

'' What do you want.''

'' Awh, so hostile. No need to be so cold. I just thought I could help a little. You see,'' he said while leaning forward to speak more softly, :'' Illumi is really rough with his training, thought I think you know that by now, and since he asked me to give you a little training as well, I thought I might give you something that would make his hell-ish hours a little easier. Draining such an unprepared body can have a big toll on you later. Also you won't be feeling as bad when you have to do physical training with me.~ What do you say.'' He held out his hand as an initiative for a handshake. Though everything he said seemed too planned out and eerie.

'' Whats the catch..'' I asked in a cold tone before confirming to anything he said.

'' There is no catch. I'm all in for my own benefit,'' he smirked and stared right in my eyes,'' I don't wish to waste any more time if Illumi damages you. I'm a very busy man~''

I crossed my arms and glared back at him. '' So what is this thing you're gonna give me.''

His eyes narrowed and his smirk only grew more. '' It's a liquid that'll make your training way easier; your senses and reactions more sharper. You'll be able to control your Nen very easily with this~ '' He slowly reached for his pocket and pulled out a small glass bottle that contained some yellowish brown liquid. It didn't look appealing at all. And I was supposed to drink that?

'' .. Have you tested this on anyone, it looks horrible.''

'' Of course I have, I have regular customers coming after this stuff. No one likes being weak after all, so it's a good selling products.'' he waved the little bottle in front of me.

I hesitated a little. It seemed too innocent from this guy. But it sure did sound good. I haven't been able to do much with my Nen up 'til now. It got me really curious to what I could be able to do. Just a little wouldn't hurt right. And I doubt Hisoka would actually do something that would jeopardize his connection with Illumi. Since he is still allowed on the Zoldyk land I'm guessing he hasn't gone after Killua to trigger Illumi into fighting him. Such a battle wouldn't end in a positive way.

'' Fine. You have me interested. But if this shit does anything I'm sure you know what your chances are here.''

For a moment his expression changed like he was actually thinking about it, but it didn't last long. He stopped leaning in and lowered the bottle to me. At first I still looked at it. Was this really a good idea. I shook my head mentally. '' _There's too many reasons why Hisoka wouldn't do this for a hostile reason._'' I slowly took the bottle from him and took off the wooden cork that was closed with a metal strap. I smelled a sweet fragrance from the liquid. It upped my mood a little and I slowly took small tastes from it. Confirming that I didn't mind the taste, I drank it all. It wasn't bad at all. I felt like I had drunk some watery honey drink. Nor did I feel any different. I politely gave him the bottle back. He closed his eyes, accepting it and letting me pass as I wanted to go down the stairs.

I made my way down stairs when I heard music. I looked through the door to the waiting room. Milluki was there, going about his business with some speaker. It was playing a random rock song.

I kind of thought it was catchy and listened to it for a little. It somewhat made me feel better, the music was cheerie and it had a nice beat to it, I also felt like I had more energy than before. '' _Remind me to ask him if he knows the name of that song._ '' I then remembered why I was here and headed for the main door.

A butler had seen me so he came to open the door. I bowed and thanked the man for his service and ran outside.

As I remembered there was no specific spot that Illumi had mentioned for me to go to, so I figured I should go back to the dome.

When I made my way there I already saw him standing next to it, but he was on his phone. For some reason I had this sudden urge to prank him some way, like kids used to do when people were on their phones with their parents. I still had some sense not to do that. It wouldn't be proper. So I just quietly walked up, waiting for him to finish his business. I felt my energy completely restored.'' _Remind me to ask Hisoka more for this stuff. It works wonders. Is this why he's always so energetic.''_ I then cut off my thoughts as I saw Illumi finishing his talk on the phone and turned to me.

'' You look better than expected.''

I broadly smiled at him while nodding and said, : '' Yup, I has some sugar. I guess I was just that tired. It took effect faster than I thought.''

Illumi stood there, quiet, observing me with his dull lifeless face.

'' Hm? What is it.'' I smiled a little, :'' Are you jealous 'cuz I have so much energy and you don't? I know you work a lot.'' I swinged back and forth on my toes and heels. He didn't anwser me though.

After he hadn't returned the attention i wanted I had a rather hazy look in my eyes, but at the same time it seemed intimidating and dangerous. It sort of reflected a sertain desirable look in my face that I clearly didn't know of myself. I walked up to Illumi and stopped in front of him to look at him in the eye and smirked. '' Fight me.''

There was a long silence and I wasn't able to get a reply out of him. I shifted to lean on my other leg while crossing my arms and waiting.

'' Hmm... or are you hesitating to fight me.'' I knew that it was a bad idea to taunt him like that, but my mind was on a roll and I couldn't care less what would happen later. Plus everything seemed to skip and pass too fast for me to think about the consequences.

Time still passed and I didn't get an answer, so I just stepped back and turned around. '' Meh, what ever. I guess Hisoka was right about you.''

I didn't have any time to even take a step further when I already felt the cold touch of two sharp needles against my neck. I smiled at the idea that he actually had taken action.

'' Oh? What made you change your mind, Illu-nii~? '' The last part was sugar coated especially for him, and at that moment I felt the needles poke my skin further. If I taunted any more, he would actually cause damage.

'' What did he give you?'' His voice had no amusement in it, rather it reflected bitterness.

'' I'm not sure, but I feel great~ and did you know, this stuff makes you feel things even better than normal. Its like a whole brand new world.'' I turned around, not caring that I had needles pointed at my life line, having scraped my skin a little, which made small drops of blood slowly ooze out.

I only looked at him, narrowed my eyes and widened my smirk. '' Fight me, Illu-nii~''

The needles in his hand disappeared and his fingers then slowly made their way around my neck where the blood had formed. He glided his finger over the scarring line which smeared the blood across my neck.

He then tightened his grip around my neck, even though I didn't even flinch and just kept my eyes on his, he then removed his hand.

At that moment my face lightened up and my smirk had grown into a maniacal grin, my pupils had sharpened and the aura around me suddenly grew in a very short time.

I leaped back when two very sharp reaper blade like swords dashed towards Illumi in fast speed, but most certainly missed since he was gone before I knew it. For a moment I kept my ears open and eyes in front of me, without any disturbance.

I heard nor did I see anything, which was peculiar.

I suddenly felt fingers creep around my neck which kept a firm grip; I kept still. If usually I would feel shock, then right now it was replaced with annoyance and a glare.

Along that he had also grabbed my arms and pulled them behind my back in a swift pace, so I wouldn't be able to conjure anything. Since for now my abilities were limited.

By twisting my arms up above my head; I had to arch my back up as well for him to not break my bones though. The pain I felt was like passing wind, you knew it was there, but there was no real damage to receive from it.

He kept me in that pose along with his nails almost digging into my neck.

'' You have to be pretty stupid right now to challenge me, '' he said while leaning forward to whisper in my ear. '' Tell me, what was this miracle drug that also made you immune to pain and receive bloodlust instead? I doubt I've taught you this yet.''

'' HM. What will I receive in return for this information I wonder.'' I replied in an amused tone while gritting my teeth.

For a while I heard nothing from his side, nor did he move a muscle.

I suddenly saw my vision spin around and the next thing I noticed was my head and back hitting the ground. I had to cough once because the air was knocked out of me for a moment.

My arms were pinned over my head and Illumis hand was pressured against my neck.

'' You'll receive mercy, '' he answered in a toneless voice.

I frowned a little, but that frown slowly lifted when I started laughing out loud. I could then feel the pressure on my neck tighten so I limited how much I voiced it out, turning it down a little into a giggle. I then smiled and pouted out my words, : '' Sorry man, he didn't tell me what it was. He only mentioned that the liquid would make my body feel lighter for training.''

There was a long awkward silence until I felt his weight lifting away from my neck. He had his usually dumb empty look on his face again.

'' Ah. I see.'' Is all he replied before quickly throwing three long needles towards a tree, piercing it. A small rustle could be heard from the leaves, revealing a hiding Hisoka from behind the leaves and wood bark.

'' Aw, you noticed me, Illumi~ Though I am rather sad you didn't take notice of my presence before. Did my gift occupy your mind and senses that much?~ I'm pleased.'' He tried to act all proud while sliding away from the tree towards us.

'' Hisoka. Stop giving me more trouble with her.'' He answered pouting and a little pissed off in a childish way. I almost had to laugh at how he reacted to Hisokas presence, but tried keeping myself composed.

Illumi then lifted himself from me and faced Hisoka, still looking like a pissed little kid. From what I could see it was like a grown up dealing with a little cousin. Hisoka giving his usual grin and patting his eyes while Illumi was next to him nagging, having steam blow out of his ears. Maybe it seemed more amusing that it really was since the drug was still in effect.

After listening to them talk about some weird boring topics I couldn't follow, I felt myself get really tired all of a sudden. Its like the sandman had hit me with a bag of sleeping sand. Either way I couldn't keep myself awake; constantly feeling pressure on my eyelids. I curled onto my side and kept my hands tucked close to my chest, like a sleeping baby. Even though I knew I was laying outside on the ground, for some reason it still felt nice and soft, but I could of just been worn out from that weird drug.

* * *

'' Anyway I want you stop trespassing on my family's land, Hisoka.''

'' Hm, but if I hadn't come, I wouldn't of had so much fun observing this, '' Hisoka replied while grinning. '' Plus if it wasn't for yours-truly, Mou, you wouldn't of had witnessed her power. My little Sugar Rush drug works quite well, don't you think?~ ''

'' Even if it does, stop giving me more work. I do have other issues on my list to take care of.''

'' It's fine, it's fine~ '' he said while patting me on my back roughly, making me attempt to stab Hisoka in his chest. Hisoka of course fleeing to my other side in a blink of an eye and turning on his heel to face his ' test subject'. ''See she's out cold, no more trouble. That lasted roughly ten minutes anyway~. ''

I sighed, :'' That's not the point. Now all You did, was waste my time, '' I looked at my phone to check the time,'' I know who your clients are for the drug. If you don't want me to dispose of them, then you will repay me with your time.''

'' Ha~? That doesn't sound much fun, unless it's time I can spend on you that is.~''

'' Don't be gross. I wouldn't waste my time on you if it didn't profit me.'' I walked past him, punching his cheek, not to break it of course.

'' That's cruel~'' He whined while rubbing his cheek from so called ' pain '.

'' I don't care. Now. The next time you will be coming is in two days. And you will give her hand combat lessons. Boosting her bloodlust only for her Nen is not going to help. Her physical skills and condition need to improve.'' I walked towards the curled up girl and picked her up, then turning towards Hisoka. I emitted as much fear as I could towards him. I'm not here to fool around.

He obviously got the message when he made one of his disgusting grins and turned around, walking away.

I then proceeded to walk back to the house to deliver the luggage back to her room.

On my way through the corridors there was small squirming from her. She was probably dreaming, so I tried to pay little attention to it.

I reached her room and walked in, seeing from her window that the light yellow glow from the sun was around the corner. It gave the room a warm tone as the walls were a cold pink tone.

I proceeded to walk towards her bed to place the restless little human there so I could go back to my own business. As I leaned a little to put her on the mattress, I felt a tug on my clothing. I removed my eyes from the window and looked down at my hands where I held Aru.

She had a tight grip on my shirt.

...

'' Let go.'' I commanded, seeing that she was actually still asleep.

I tried removing her from my clothes as I pulled her away while still holding her. I tried moving her in every possible direction, shaking her off. I decided since it wasn't working, I'll just drop her.

I let her go so she fell on the bed, but one of her hands was still hooked to my shirt.

I stood straight and turned around, making one step, only to see that she was sliding along as she held on. '' _I give up .. This is annoying'' _I actually did have a deadline for a job, I didn't have any time to linger around in this house.

I continued to unbutton my shirt and leave it there.

As I was making my way to the door, I looked back to see that she was still holding the shirt with her arm tangling next to the bed. '' _She won't be going anywhere._''

Leaving the room with half my body covered I walked past Alluka, who was staring at me as if he was seeing something completely intriguing.

'' Illu-nii, why are you without your shirt? '' He asked while still looking while I passed him.

'' Someone took it.'' I went down stairs to escape incoming questions. Going around the stairs I made a left turn towards a painting and stepped on a certain tile behind a post, which then opened a door that the painting was covering.

Walking down the narrow hall I made it to a room which had my work equipment. I changed my clothes and dialed for a private plane to come and pick me up.

* * *

I woken up by a loud bang in the room.

I opened my eyes in shock and turned around to see Illumi leaning against the window frame, hands folded against his chest. He turned his gaze towards me and waited for me to get up.

I got up and walked towards the closet, putting on my warm fluffy jacket I managed to get from Alluka.

'' I didn't expect to see you so soon already. It must be important if you came to talk to me personally, Illumi.'' I didn't turn around while talking to him, I was still tiding up the closet as I saw that I had been careless with it, and didn't want to cause the maids extra work with this.

'' With your aura piercing through the walls, it's hard to miss. Only moments ago you had no stamina. So what refreshed you this much.''

When he began talking, I knew this wasn't going to lead to anything good, it never did. But now I was completely stunned. I didn't know how to explain from what my stamina returned from, possibly the drug effect. But telling that to him, it would just lead to more troublesome comments from him. And I had to mentally beat myself up, because I still don't have full control over my aura, so at times I tend to activate it without realizing. And now was the worst time possible.

I slowly closed the closet doors and turned around to face him with a serious expression, while his didn't change an inch, like always.

'' I sort of, wanted to ask you something.''

He didn't react to it, but by now I could tell when he was interested in something. He'd have that long blank stare while not blinking for several minutes and waiting on the other to continue.

Personally I thought it was creepy as hell, but for someone who doesn't show emotions, it was a good point to hold on to.

'' I want to learn about survival. And I know I don't have physical stability nor the stamina to back it up, but... But I intend to learn until I can handle things by myself in a sufficient manner. I need more than just exercises, I need experience in the actual nature. I want to get accustomed to how things actually are.'' The whole time while I was presenting that small report I had not moved any part of my body, and kept my focus on Illumi, to see any small sign of, well, anything.

There was non. For a long time in the matter of fact.

I grew a soft frown, knowing that he was thinking the possibilities over. My chances were.. well there basically are non. But since he asked. I had to bring out an idea sooner or later. And aside from what I was actually doing before or thinking, this was as close to what I wanted eventually. ''_If he declines this then I'm going to ask Zeno for extra lessons.. though.. I think I have even less chance with him since he's not obliged to look after me.''_

_''_ Very well. I'll take up your offer, but it will be grandfather who picks the spot for the training. Since Kil was trained only on the surrounding property, he will know better to choose a spot more.. convenient, for someone like you.'' He then pushed himself off from the window frame and started to walk across the room, approaching me.

'' But since this a favor from you, and taking more time from me than needed, you will give something back in return,'' he said that after stopping in front of me. I had to look up a little and worry over what he was going to ask. Even though my expression showed no fear and I managed to keep a firm glare, I couldn't help but feel those little nerves prickling under my skin, making me feel uncomfortable.

Time passed and he was only staring at me. ''_Is he testing to see if I'm actually serious enough to take on his request? ''_ More moments passed and I started to get anxious of the idea what he was actually planning on asking me that took him so much time to pressure me.

'' I wan't you to call me the way Alluka does.''

In that moment time stopped and I kept rewinding his sentence in my head.

From a glare to a poker face, I didn't know if he was serious or not. I only stared back at him with a ridiculous awe.

When I came to, seeing that he didn't say anything after that, I blinked a few times before opening my mouth and saying a quiet : '' Huh.''

He only kept looking down at me with no other comment.

'' ...I'm sorry what?'' I still stared at him in awe, unable to think of anything at this point.

'' I said, I want you to call me the way Alluka does, do I need to repeat again?'' He still had his hands crossed and kept that blank look on his face while repeating that sentence.

My mouth was slightly open, being completely baffled that he's actually being serious about this. '' You... what? What kind of a request is that?!'' I tried to recall a moment when Alluka would call out to Illumi. ''_He'd say ...Illu-nii.. does he not? ... oh god... is this because I said that when I was under the drug effect? Is he trying to embarrass me more now ..''_

When my mind had come to that conclusion I exclaimed in confusion and backed against the closet. '' WAIT...you want me to do what? ... that is just stupid. Why would I do that!?'' My face was flustered from that thought of calling him so informally and it seemed too weird to begin with. ''_ I know I said that before, but.. but I wasn't myself then .. this is so wrong.''_ I felt my heart beating faster as I grew more nervous.

He took a step closer and leaned down to stare at me more intensely.

'' If you expect to gain experience and self control, then you're doing a really poor job at it, Aru.''

For some reason that idea hadn't come to me. I let my emotion and reflex run wild again without even trying to hold back. Was I really that relaxed around him that I didn't care anymore?

That upset me and I had to sulk on that idea. But the thought of calling him that still made me nervous. I didn't have an explanation for it, but it seemed wrong to do so, or my pride was just getting in my way and I was being a coward.

When I noticed that he was still staring at me I turned my eyes away and my embarrassment only grew more. ''_He's actually expecting me to do this... this is just..''_

I got startled when he roughly hit his hand against the closer door next to my head and kept his hand in place. '' Do it. Or do you want me to believe that you actually don't have the guts to even do this. How do you expect to live through actual training.''

I looked back at him, still having a faint blush across my cheeks. '' IT'S NOT THAT! ..I just.. This seems too weird coming from you.''

'' Weird? You think you know me because of some knowledge you gained from some source or how I am around Hisoka. You think that my personality can be one sided like you imagine it to be? '' His eyes narrowed only a bit, but that look alone made him seem more terrifying than usual and I took back my voice after having half-way shouted at him.

He was right though. How could I possibly know what he truly does and thinks. I can't assume he would do something just because I know a little bit of information. ''_ I've set myself too high..and he's going easy on me with this...and making me pay for it.''_

I felt miserable all of a sudden, and i couldn't face the reality. I didn't know anything. I let myself feel mighty just because I knew a little background, but I can't expect to know the actual details to these people. I need to observe and study people with my own skills, without relying on other things.

I turned away from embarrassment and lowered my head. I knew that if I couldn't even do this, then how was I supposed to face even bigger events. ''_ I have to learn to set down my stupid pride for just this..''_

I suddenly felt something disturbing and arched my shoulders from the weird sensation that was coming from my left side. My eyes widened when I saw that Illumi had gotten so close to me that I was only able to see his hair that was curtaining before my sight, and the indescribable feeling that I had, was him biting down on my ear.

I lost all sanity when I saw this happening and I wanted to escape, but he moved his hand next to my head on the right side as well and trapped me.

I was probably a thousand red shades by now and I couldn't help but shriek when I felt him bite in more. It didn't hurt, but the touch alone felt unbelievably weird and new, I had no idea how to react to this.

From the shock alone, and from the temperature that my face was getting to, my eyes had automatically watered up. I wasn't going to cry, but they were moist enough to see.

He backed away only to look at me and I felt even more nervous when I saw his face.

His eyes were half narrowed and he looked serious.

My heart was already pounding so loud that I could hear it all the way up to my ears and my head was becoming dizzy from the thought of what just had happened.

'' You're slow. Are you gonna say it? Or do you need more experience to be able to talk in words.''

My mouth was half-slitted and I thought I felt my lips quiver, but I couldn't pay attention to most of the things anymore. My pride acted up again and I had to fight him back on this one. This sudden change from his normal self was completely off and I had no idea what to do or say to him.

'' Y-you expect me t-to say something like that all of a sudden? And after doing that?! WHAT WAS THAT. This isn't like you!''

'' Ho? And what do you know how I'm like. Do you think I'm built up like a program and acting only on one certain line? ''

'' ..no. That's..''

'' Then say it already.'' He still had both arms locking me in his view and I felt like running, but I knew I had no chance in that. No matter how much he would hold himself back in keeping me from escaping, there is no way for me to get out without a scratch.

''_ I just have to fucking say one thing, why is this so much harder than when I'm thinking.. he's right. I have no control over my body at all.. I can't even say one thing.'' _My frown grew bigger as I closed my eyes, trying to have that one thing escape my mouth. '' _I act all tough, but I can't even back up my words, I'm just barking..''_

I had my mouth shut and I gritted my teeth together.

When I felt his hair touch my shoulder again was the moment when I felt something flicker along my ear again, but this time it was much softer and strangely sleek and wet. Along when that happened a soft high voice escaped my throat. This body was reacting by itself and that along screwed with my mind, because what this body felt was way too sensitive.

My whole body stiffened and my eyes popped open from that sensation. I could slowly feel my whole body getting shaky as I couldn't control it properly.

'' STOP! '' I then somehow managed to bring myself out of it and I shifted aside to the right as much as there was room to do so and shoved my hands against his chest to make him move away. Non of that had any effect on him though and he kept himself in place while still having that mesmerizing narrowed look in his eyes.

I was scared and confused, but at the same time my heart was completely out of control.

I was already panting and the blush wasn't growing any less duller on my face either.

'' Are you gonna say it? '' This time he leaned a bit back, but still close to keep me in place. My hands were still on his chest and I felt how calm his pulse was. On the other hand mine was beating rapidly.

I lowered my head to compose myself and tried to even out my rhythm. It took me a few minutes before I raised my head a little to look at him, but instantly looking to the right to avoid eye contact while still feeling the hotness on my face. There was no way to hide this.

'' Illu... -nii'' I muttered in a soft voice while keeping my eyes to the ground.

Even if that did sound more like a whisper, I saw no more movement from his side so I looked up to see that, even though his eyes were still narrowed, he looked more normal than before.

* * *

The way she looked at me just seemed so much different than a moment ago.''_ I guess she really does want to learn self control that badly to go through with this.''_

But how was I supposed to leave this just like that. With that flustered face and those worrisome foggy eyes that reflected fear and fortitude at the same, somehow it seemed harder to leave her alone. ''_ I want to make her quiver in fear from my control. The type I could never achieve with Kil.''_

I moved my hand from her right side and slid my fingers to the back of her neck and pushed her chin up with my thumb to face me directly. I could already see the growing fear in her eyes as I leaned in closer to her neck and slid my tongue up from her pounding artery.

* * *

All of my muscle movement stopped at that point and I grew stiff as a board. My eyes widened from shock and I felt my legs shaking slightly.

The way he kept his hand on my neck clearly said that, if I moved, I would regret it greatly. But the soft sensation I was getting from him just made my whole body react totally differently than what I was actually feeling.

As he continued up my neck to my ear I felt as if my legs were going to give in to the gravity, making me grab a hold of his shirt to keep myself up. ''_ ..why..he's still...even when I said what I had to.''_

_''_Why are you still.. .. when I did what you asked of me! '' I managed to bring out in a louder voice. For now he stopped his action, but still kept himself close to my ear.

He then proceeded to talk in a low voice, almost close to a whisper in my ear. '' Your letting your body take a natural course. You should resent me, feel hate. Not let yourself be toyed by such feeble feelings and get flustered. If you expect to learn, then start taking steps. There are no excuses, only that you're weak. And I will break you, if you don't make progress.'' With that he moved away and since I lost contact with him, I felt a huge rush of relief find its way to my body and I collapsed on the floor, having my nerves give in from the pressure.

He only looked down at me and smiled while cocking his head a little. '' Or perhaps you're taken in by me that you can't deny my actions? ''  
I could still feel myself shacking and my heart pounding. That comment irked me and I shouted at him, :'' FUCK OFF. You freaking Hisoka wannabe.'' Without much thought I had just said something completely dumb and I already regretted it, giving myself a mental slap.

A small smile appeared on his face, with that he walked out of my room and closed the door with a loud bang.

I then woke up in my bed, again. I was on my back, and when my vision came to, I realized, : '' _It was a dream ...Gesus Aru..what on earth.'' _I rubbed my eyes and blinked a few time, looking to my left I saw Illumi standing there.

I could of sworn I got a mini heart attack there. I sat up as fast as I could and stared at him. '' You.. you're here, but, you left and.. I was..''

He only stared at me, not knowing what I was on about.

I still felt my heart pounding and all of the stuff I had seen in my vivid dream came back to me. I removed my sight from his and turned to look out of the window. It was night time.

'' You've been asleep this whole time after that drug incident.'' Illumi pointed out while taking a seat next to my bed. I automatically shifted a little further, cuz parts of the dream was still going through my head as it had just happened.

'' Ah...I see... and. Why are you here..'' I managed to ask with a normal voice.

'' I came to get my shirt.'' When he mentioned that I was a little puzzled.

'' Your..shirt ?''

''Yes. My shirt. In your hand.'' After him saying that I looked at my right hand and noticed that I was indeed holding onto a shirt.

'' You refused to release me when I brought you back here, so I had to depart with it. I came to retrieve it, but as I was trying to take it back you screamed stop and shoved me away. After that your muscles were too cramped. It would be a bother if I had to break your fingers for it.''

My mind was shocked. And I probably had the dumbest expression on my face, having acted like that in my sleep, because of a certain dream.

I reached out my hand and gave him the shirt back. '' s-sorry for that..'' I paused a little, then continued: '' I don't think I'll be accepting anything from Hisoka in the near future. It had some.. very disturbing side effect..'' I turned my head away from him and cried to myself in my head. '' _Yeah side effects causing you to have lustful dreams of someone ... and not on a normal level.''_

'' I see. I will tell him that.'' Illumi stood up and left the room.

I sighted and took a deep breath before composing my thoughts. '' So the reason I saw that dream was cuz of that shirt.. his scent..and then him coming here physically .. .. UGH. I sound like some sick old fat perv. EW ARU.'' I flopped on my stomach and buried my face in the pillow. '' _So embarrassing.. I had such a dream excite me.''_ As I lifted my head my face had grown red. '' This is why I hate teenaged bodies..I already lived through this. It reacts to everything. Even if my mind says other things.''

* * *

**Ok so I know I haven't posted in FOREVER. My job has kept me out of line. But I'm honestly sad I havent been able to write. Now that I had bits and pieces of ideas. I put this together. Hopefully I'll have more time to create some more! I AM SO SOWWIE. I hate myself cuz i know if i was a reader I'd want this to continue so badly.**


	15. Chapter 15 - Testing,testing,123

**Testing, testing, 1 2 3**

The night went by so slowly.

I couldn't forget that dream I had. And every time I would think of it my mind would wonder further with the action; wondering what could of happened if he didn't stop. When ever I realized that I was thinking of it again I couldn't help but get flustered.

''_ It's not like I'm expecting anything! .. I just can't help but wonder.. what he would really be like..''_

My eyes popped open as I found myself picturing things again.

'' AHHHH... stop it! Stupid brain. AND YOU! HEART! I know you're a fucking rebel and think it's ok to just beat to anything that happens, BUT THIS! IS NOT COOL. You hear me! The moment I see that guy I will beat him up!'' I was probably out of my mind talking to myself in the middle of the night.

Scratch that.

Yelling, yelling at myself in the middle of the night, in the house of assassins.

Great job Aru, great job.. Not like anyone would hear that. There's just highly trained butlers and deadly assassins in this house who can hear a dust drop from the basement.

I facepalmed myself and got out of bed.

Before leaving my bed side I took the water glass that was set on the nightstand in case I would get thirsty.

The moonlight was bright enough to light my way to the bathroom, so I had no need to turn on the light. Plus with these marvelous windows inside the bathroom there was no need for a light in the first place.

I was too scared to wake up in a completely dark room, in comparison to my old life where I loved the dark, and without a question couldn't possibly sleep with any light shining in from anywhere.

The bathroom door was open so I walked in and towards the sink. I looked at my pale complexion before turning on the water and refilling my glass.

'' Fuck, my muscles hurt from today .. Annoying,'' I stated to myself quietly.

Obviously from that drug, I had over extended my muscle movement. Without any proper warm-up or training I went and acted so stupidly.

'' I can't imagine anyone but Hisoka-like people to be after his drug.. Though I'm pretty certain that there are more mental people out there than him or these guys.

I straightened my hair a little and walked back to my bed. Before laying down I took a sip of the water, stretched myself and tucked myself back under the covers.

No thought was running through my head and I was enjoying the quiet, occasionally hearing the sounds of nature from outside.

'' Ahh. I'm a real wreck. I don't even know what my real personality even is anymore. What I'm thinking.. or feeling. Are they what I want or .. is it this bodys will.''

My own words and thoughts confused me since I still didn't understand the body and soul system.

I knew very well how and why a physical body worked. It was well taught in school. But a spiritual soul? How could we humans, possibly know about something like that. We don't have powers or any way to detect a different kind of energy source other than our heat.

I know I felt my Nen. It became more natural to me as time went by, but I still didn't understand the full concept of it.

Where is the source? How does it work? What are the smallest details that these people know of that could be shown as visual proof on how and what Nen is inside ones body.

There was no such answers in my head and I wasn't even sure if I was ever going to find out.

''_ These people are born with this power. Those who are brought up in Nen families know of this since birth. Even if they don't understand it technically they still see it as a natural thing to develop._'' I covered my face with my arm as I was thinking of this and took a deep breath. ''_We're used to learning things from a book and following a stupid routine for 18 years, but these people get different kinds of experiences since they're kids. Of course here too, people have hardships in life.. but .. it's still different, isn't it ?_''

I was jealous. My chest ached as I was thinking of the fact that I had to waste my most precious years on that dumb planet and missed out on what I could only call a Dream.

A dream; a mere fantasy that we will only keep in our heads for the rest of our life until the day we die.

I sighed again. This time I knew I was getting too depressed. Depression never led me on a good road. It was full of these horrible creatures that most people would call demons if they were demented enough in the old days.

But for me they were different parts of me. I knew they were there, waiting for their time when they can stand on the stage and act it all out. Of course I wouldn't let that happen unless I was alone. This house.. was not where I could do that. I had to hold myself back and act as I did around most normal people back home.

I was in another world, a dimension. Heck if I even knew what it was called or if this was even real. I could just be dead and imagining it all. Then again that wouldn't be possible if I was dead.

I frowned at my own ideas. I had no clue what was real or fake anymore. I was confused to the point where I could think that my own hair would start talking to me. ''_ Man I feel like I'm demented.. Maybe I'm just crazy and imagining this all.. .. AHH, fuck this all. I need to sleep. This is making my head hurt._''

I woke up with sharp pain on my forehead. My eyes shot wide open as I felt my heart race from panic. I wasn't sure for how long I had been asleep, but it was fairly light in the room to see clearly.

'' ! WHAT THE, '' I exclaimed in a high pitch voice when I saw a metal needle pressed against my forehead.

Out of reflex I smacked it away and sat up as quickly as I could to get off the bed, opposite to a certain someone.

'' WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING, ILLUMI! '' I pressed my hand against my head to feel if there was a hole or blood. But there was nothing.

I repeatedly went over the same place with my fingers where I felt pain from, but nothing.

I was giving Illumi a death glare as I still felt my heart beating rapidly.

'' Oh. Good morning, '' he casually answered as he lifted a hand and waved.

My eyes narrowed at his weird greeting and behavior, waiting for an answer. For some reason his aura felt different than the other days. It felt ... kind.

''_ No no no, that's not right. I'm just sleepy,''_ I told myself as I rubbed my temples to calm down.

I took a deep breath and once again looked towards him. I felt no bad intention from him, nor did he look suspicious. I gave him an annoyed look as I saw him do nothing.

'' Illumi.''

'' Yes.''

'' What were you doing.''

'' Fixing your nerves.''

'' ..''

'' ...''

'' What's wrong with my nerves..'' I said awkwardly as I approached to sit on my bed, still avoiding him.

'' Your nerves were signaling muscle tension in your sleep. It was from the drug. I had to threaten Hisoka to tell me the side-effects. So I decided to fix it before his work got in my way again.''

As plainly as that, he explained it without hesitation. There was no catch, no pause. He just explained without expecting me to go through a thousand ideas to know what he was talking about.

It was odd.

I was hesitant for a short moment. Thinking over if I should say it or not.

'' Th..'' I paused, realizing that my voice was too quiet.

'' What?'' Illumi asked while peering his gaze through me.

'' _Why are you acting so open ... did you get surprise butt sex from Hisoka or something ?'' _I couldn't help but ask myself, but then again that alone seemed wrong as Illumi wouldn't let that happen.

But maybe ..

'' I mean to say.. thanks. Illumi.'' I said in a normal tone as I turned my head away and ran my fingers through my hair to avoid eye contact. ''_ Ugh, it seems too weird to look at him with these recent events..''_

'' Don't thank me yet. You broke my needle contact so the connection got lost half way.''

'' Connection?''

'' Yes with your nerves. I need to be connected to your brain in order to fix it..'' He explained as he held up a new needle.

'' .. You mean to tell me you were going around in my brain.. ?!'' I didn't know why but that made me feel EXTREMELY uncomfortable and nervous.

I mean come on. I didn't know what he was doing or how he did his stuff. Maybe he was going through my memories or parts I wouldn't show other people.

''_ THIS BASTARD. Oh no.. what if.. WHAT IF HE SAW MY DREAM.. OH GOD. no no no no no no... no..that's too much. I wouldn't even be able to face myself if that got out of my head.'' _I was running about in my head as I felt my face burning up from all the tension and nervousness that I was creating myself.

'' I was indeed. I can't do anything if I'm not fully connected to the nerves.'' For some reason he had a light grin on his face as he was still holding up the needle.

I felt my eyes froze on his gaze as he mentioned that and I could only feel how much more nervous I grew.

'' ..Are you planning on continuing with that?'' I asked as I pointed towards his needle.

'' Of course,'' he said without his grin fading.

My expression froze along with my eyes fixed on him.

I gulped slowly.

He stood up and approached to walk around the bed towards me.

My gaze was still fixed on the spot where he was sitting before, but my eyes widened as I noticed his movement. ''_He knows ... I don't know what to do.. this is horrible. He knows..''_

I was scared of the outcome. I didn't know what to expect so I sat there with a frozen shocked face as he got closer to me.

He stopped and towered right in front of me, blocking the window in front as I turned my head to look at him.

* * *

''_ Ahh, moments like this. They are worth it all. That expression. The worry and fear. It's wonderful. It turns my insides to mush.''_ I relished the sight and my ideas as I brushed her bangs away from her forehead and prepared to place the needle in the center with my other hand.

''_ She's so cute. Frozen with fear. So fragile.''_

I noticed that I was staring her and had a slight urge in my hand to do more with that needle than what I came here for.

'' _Ah. I can't lose control just because of this.''_ I turned my eyes away for a moment before continuing my action.

* * *

I was surprised by his sudden action when he moved his palm against my forehead to remove my bangs away from my vision.

There was a slight feeling of panic and excitement.

But more over I was worried.

His sudden actions scared me and because of my stupid thoughts I was even more nervous than I usually would be.

The fact that he held a needle against my head clearly told my instincts not to move. I wasn't sure if that thing would pierce anything, but I wasn't going to be the test subject for that.

When I noticed that he removed his eyes I couldn't help but wonder what he was thinking.

As I was about to open my mouth to ask him he interrupted me : '' Close your eyes.''

'' Huh? ..'' I was confused.

'' Eyes pick up too much information from the environment. If your brain signals are too active it will be a bother to connect with the rest of the main nerves.'' As he explained I did as he asked. Fully understanding what he was talking about. After all, I didn't want him to fuck up if I accidentally mingled with his business.

It wasn't as if I didn't know how a brain functioned, but I had no idea how his Nen powers worked and if it was even safe to let him continue. Then again I couldn't find the possibility to fight back when _that _person was holding a damn needle to my head.

The next thing I felt was an indescribable feeling. It was the same kind of tingling feeling as when your leg or hand would die because the blood pressure was cut off and suddenly released.

It was unbelievably unpleasant and I arched my shoulders, having my body tell me to move.

Illumi placed his hands on my shoulders to keep me in place. '' Don't move, Aru.''

'' But... This.. It feels horrible.'' I couldn't help but fidget in place.

'' I know. Stay still.''

The last words I heard from him seemed really close in distance. My heart jumped for a moment.

I slowly opened my eyes a little to take a peek. They shot wide open when I saw Illumi only inches away from my face.

'' HEE...'' I exclaimed out loud, getting the sudden urge to move, only to notice that he was holding me in place with an iron grip.

'' Shut up,'' Illumi ordered as he opened his eyes only a little.

His gaze. It was mesmerizing and I stopped immediately.

When my mind was more calm. I noticed that the ends of the needle was against both of our foreheads. I was puzzled by this because I knew he did not need direct contact with someone in order for him to use his Nen on them. So why..

''_ Is he trying to annoy me..''_

_''_ Yosh! All done!'' He said suddenly, kicking me off track of my own thoughts.

He removed himself from in front of me and also took the needle away.

As I came too from the horrible stinging feeling I blinked and rubbed my forehead.

'' Ah.. uh.. Thank you, Illumi.'' I said awkwardly.

'' I get it now. Why I wasn't able to before.'' Illumi minded his own business and calmly walked to the other side of the room, discussing something by himself.

'' Huh.. wasn't able to what? ..Illumi?'' I followed his movement with my eyes, having a puzzled look on my face.

'' This is more effort than I thought,'' he continued to talk to himself.

'' What is?'' I tried asking again, slowly starting to feel irritated.

'' I guess there is no choice..'' He turned around and looked at me before continuing, '' you will fight me.''

Silence fell.

I was staring at him, waiting for him to say ' _just kidding '. _But there was no such answer.

'' Excuse me ?'' I asked dumbfounded, blinking my eyes in confusion.

'' Put on your clothes and lets go. I will fight you.''

I stared at him as if he was stupid.

'' HUH?! Did you get brain damaged while doing some weird shit just now?'' I asked boldly while pointing a finger against the side of my head.

'' Not at all. I fixed your muscle tension. You should be quite agile now. Not curious?'' He turned to face me and kept looking at me with those wide creepy eyes.

'' ... F-fine. You wouldn't leave me with any other option anyway, would you ?'' I got up and turned to face my closet and walked up to it.

'' Not really.'' He calmly said while leaning against the door.

I stopped when I noticed he wasn't getting out of the room.

I waited.

And waited.

.. ''_ This guy.. he is a simpleton isn't he..''_

For a second I glared at him and proceeded to walk up to him. For about five seconds I stared at him, waiting for him to get out. He just continued to stare as if nothing was wrong.

I opened the door and forcefully pushed him out. ''GET OUT,'' I yelled after shutting the door with brute force.

'' Chya. I got rejected.'' I heard him murmur outside.

Marching back to the closet I felt my face getting hotter. I was blushing.

'' Punk-ass control freak.'' I muttered under my breath quietly as I was changing my clothes. ''_What did he think. That I would just let him stick around ? ''_

When I was done changing I went and took a black ribbon from my nightstand. I combed up my hair with my hands to tie it up because it would only get in my way. ''_ i really need to cut it.. maybe I can ask someone. I'm not too confident with my hairdressing skills with this body.''_

I didn't feel the need to do anything else so I walked and exited my room.

Illumi was leaning against the opposite wall, waiting. I just continued to walk down the hallway because I knew he would go outside anyway. Creating a commotion this early in the morning in the house would be a problem, at least for me.

Even though I didn't hear him walk, I felt him following, so I had no need to look back. ''_ Isn't he concealing his energy? Or maybe he actually did do something to me..''_

As we quietly moved downstairs I noticed that I was able to, with much effort, open the front door. I blinked many times in amazement. '' _Wow.. how did I.. I mean I just wanted to try .. but to actually be able to move this door.. What did he do.''_ From the corner of my eye I looked towards Illumi, who of course, showed no emotion to all of this.

I proceeded to walk out of the house and towards the dome area.

'' Here is fine,'' said Illumi.

'' So. How do we do this?'' I turned around to face him.

'' Go,'' he said, dashing forward and giving me no time to react.

'' EH?.. W-wait..no. WHAT?'' I panicked and out of reflex stumbled to the side, trying to jump away while covering my face and falling on my ass.

This was so sudden. I tried to quickly look back to where he planned to aim and yelled at him:'' WHAT ARE YOU DOING! I don't know anything about fighting! BAKA!''

Illumi stood back up from his leap and turned to me: '' I believe the best way to learn is from experience. As for now, try and land a hit on me,'' with that said he started walking towards me with his hand lifted up as if it was a sword.

I panicked more and quickly got up on my feet. I didn't run though. I waited, waited for him to get closer.

He quickly leaped forward again with his arm stretched out. It was still too fast for me to calculate the time I needed to dodge out of the way, but I managed to do it, with a slight delay.

I clenched my brows as I felt a stinging feeling go through my limb.

''_Would there really be a way for me to even touch Illumi. Any part. Even a hair. If I don't come up with a plan, then I'll just use up all my energy and I won't get to accomplish shit. All the effort I'd put in this would just be useless and I would be dragged back to the starting point. Nothing would be achieved.'' _I sighed out, realizing how hard this was going to be.

I held my upper arm for a moment, trying to push back the aching feeling I got from the pulsing wound that Illumi had inflicted on me only a minute ago. ''_This is bothersome. It doesn't even hurt, it's just getting in the way now.''_

My legs were spread wide to keep my stance in case there would be an attack and I would have the possibility to at least leap away if needed.

Even if I felt my legs quiver a little I tried my best not to give in to my instincts.

I noticed my arm getting wet and warm.

There was blood.

The blood was still escaping from the wound and I could only frown at that. '' _If I don't do something to distract this pain then it will start to hurt a lot. I'm not used to pain like these guys. I think my body is still in shock.''_

Illumi on the other hand did nothing else but stare back at me. He lowered his hand and stood up normally. That only made me more alert and I whipped my wounded hand next to me to throw the blood off.

Splatters of blood hit the ground and I saw Illumis expression change from stoic to what it seemed, a little interested.

'' You don't seem to care for your blood loss much? It _will_ become worse later, you know that right?''

I looked at my arm and had a bored expression as if it didn't matter at all. ''Shut up! I will worry about that later. This will just get in my way. If I don't take risks then I won't learn to react better. Besides..'' I looked back at him as I took my stance once again, lowering myself closer to the ground this time and spreading my wounded arm besides me for balance and the other on the ground for support.'' If I won't get used to these things, then everything I'm trying to learn would be useless,'' I answered as I glared at him.

With my final word I leaped in front of him, trying to go head on to see his reaction.

Illumi disappeared without me noticing. And I knew I couldn't leave any spot open to be hit, I stopped in my track and rolled to the side to at least track him before continuing.

I didn't spot him anywhere, and that bothered me, a lot!

Though I did keep myself calm and steady, I tried to focus all I could on my surroundings. But it wasn't enough. I heard and saw nothing. Was he playing with me? This is not what I came to do.

As I felt a small breeze behind me, my eyes widened in shock, but my reaction was too slow and my back was hit by a huge force. The air got knocked out of me and I fell forward on to the ground, but I had managed to keep my hands in front of my face so I wouldn't roll down and get a bloody nose.

I did slide along the rough rocky ground, but still found the second to push myself aside from the current track. As much as I saw, he was still behind me and was going for another attack.

I managed to dodge this time and scooched over from my track before seeing his palm hit the ground where I fell a second ago.

When he lifted his hand, a small crack on the dusty ground could be seen. I couldn't help but feel my eye twitch to that and I had to protest.

'' Are you actually trying to kill me? If I hadn't dodged you would of broken my back!''

'' Exactly. IF you hadn't, you would of gotten major injuries from that, but as you said, if you don't take a risk, you wont know. Right?''

I grind my teeth hearing his response. ''_He's playing around...but then again he's dead serious in his attacks. This psychotic bastard.''_

Just when I had regained my breathing he disappeared and I could feel heat next to me. Shock ran through me and in reflex I wanted to jump forward and duck to avoid an attack from above. But I soon learned that that was merely a decoy.

I noticed another presence behind me and felt him sweep my legs and again I fell again with my elbows crashing against the rock hard ground. I held my breath not to shout and had my whole body under pressure from the amount of pain I received in this short amount of time, 'cuz hitting my bones against the ground actually did hurt.

_''Great, more bleeding.''_ I somehow managed to keep my head up and I rolled to the side on my back to get back up right away. My movements were getting more sloppier by every hit he was giving me, or if not even a hit, but just a move.

Illumi was casually standing there. ''_This a fucking child's game for him, it's like playing tag.''_ He stood there, folding his arms and waiting for me to regain my composure.

'' I thought you would be more composed in such a situation.''

'' Shut up! I don't know a thing about fighting. I'm only irritated 'cuz I hate losing, and this isn't the best thing I would be good at! I thought you'd at least teach me how to defend myself.''

'' You don't need to learn that if there's a fast way to dispose of your enemy.''

'' In case you haven't noticed, I'm not an assassin! Nor am I trying to be one. I'm not planning on going around killing people in one swift move like you or Killua.''

'' Ah! That is a fair point. In that case,'' he said after taking out his phone and typing something on the screen.'' We will cut this practice short. I'll tell Hisoka to deal with physical training.''

When I saw that there actually was no more fighting interest in him, I sat down taking a break, looking over my bleeding arm and the bruised elbows. ''_This is gonna hurt like hell later..''_ I couldn't help but glare at him. ''_ And what makes him think that Hisoka will be any better. These guys are both monsters.''_

As silence fell over us and the only thing I did hear was him typing, I started to feel sad. '' _I expected so much of myself. I sometimes hate the way I am,''_ I thought while leaning my head against my palm, '' _I'm all talk, but I know very well I can't back myself up when it comes to real action.''_ My face turned sour of these thoughts as my expression went completely dull, full of disappointment for myself.

I couldn't even enjoy my peaceful misery because my injuries were aching from this short ' battle' .

My attention was completely on the wound on my arm as I tried to rub away the dirty blood and keep the wound covered up.

Because I was so occupied with the cut on my arm I hadn't noticed that Illumi had approached me silently. He crouched down in front of me and I got startled, backing away a little with my unwounded arms elbow placed forward for protection.

I stared at him, waiting for him to do something.

'' W-what is it.. You still wanna go at me? '' I hesitantly asked, putting up a brave front. As always, trying to act big.

'' No.'' He took a hold of my arm that was still bloody. '' I'll treat it.''

It seemed weird and unreal to hear something like that from him.

'' I-its fine. Aren't there butlers for this stuff..'' I didn't feel like letting him look me over, he's done enough.

He stood, pulling me up as well by my arm and saw him heading towards the dome.

'' Hei! I said it's fine!''

He didn't listen.

We entered the abyss dark dome and he dragged me in, making me take a seat on a wooden chair.

I eyed his movement: he grabbed a white towel and soaked it in ice cold water that was held in a giant glass bowl.

He walked back towards me and as I still held my palm against the wound he forcefully pulled my hand away, placing the cold towel against my arm. It felt great, but was soon replaced with more pain because the wound was cleaned off. He pressed it against roughly which made me cringe.

'' Tsk,'' I said softly and frowned.

'' You've been doing that a lot lately,'' I heard him comment suddenly.

'' What?''

'' Frowning. You'll look like an old man if you keep doing that.'' He tried imitating my expression and I couldn't help but find that funny.

I mean really. Illumi making expressions. It would look weird no matter how you imagine it.

'' Khm..'' I tried holding back my laugh and looked away. ''_ I don't get him.. he's so weird.''_

As I ignored eye contact with him, I could tell from the corner of my eye that he was staring.

I suddenly felt that from aside the pain, he was still holding my wrist which palm was covered in blood.

I didn't pay much attention to it and just ran my eyes over the items in the dome once again. I still had no idea what half of these liquids were for.. or tools.

Still though, I felt his gaze on me. That expressionless poker face.

The hand he was holding, he moved it up and brought it closer to his face. I couldn't ignore what he was doing so I slightly turned my face towards his. ''_ The hell..''_

He kept looking at my blooded palm. I didn't get what was so interesting until I saw him leaning towards it slowly and licking it.

'' H...K..Hiaa! No!'' My soft high voice escaped from my mouth as I tried to pull my hand away from him. But it was like before, his iron grip held my wounded arm and my other arm in place. Goosebumps ran down my arm to my whole body and I tensed up immediately.

He trailed his warm tongue all the way from the center of my palm to the end of a finger tip.

My heart rate automatically raced up and I got flustered. '' THE HELL ARE YOU DOING! ..STOP.''

That felt so strange and I didn't know how to react to this. All I wanted was to get away, but that option was taken away from me.

As he didn't continue, I saw him swallow and run his tongue over his lips, his eyes narrowed and they looked at me.

'' Amazing.''

Something was off. His expression. The way he talked. It creeped me out.

I didn't want to be near him. But I couldn't move. My body didn't move at all.

He moved in again to lick my palm.

'' S-top..'' I managed to squeak out.

I must of looked scared. Paralyzed on the spot. He was enjoying that.

He then stopped and lowered my arm, leaning in close to my ear that gave me chills down my entire body.

'' I know how to control you, Aru.''


	16. Chapter 16 - Useless teacher

Useless teacher

I could feel my throat dry up as my mouth was gaping open in shock of his sudden, very disturbing and unusual action. I didn't know how to react.

The sudden feeling of being cornered came in my mind.

My embarrassment grew bigger and I only grew angry that he was toying around with my emotional state. I fucking didn't know how to control this sensitive teen body.

I was flustered because of how he was acting; angry at how he treated me; sad that I was unable to act.

The frustration that was building up because of so many mixed feelings all at once made me irritated and I grabbed my leftover courage to stand up a little. Without much thought put into my actions I suddenly felt my own fist hitting Illumis cheek; it was fairly easy for me to approach him since he was leaning in.

'' ..DON'T JOKE WITH ME, ILLUMI!'' I screamed at him, feeling my fury only grow as I saw that my hit barely even made him blink. ''_ Of course it wouldn't do anything..''_

Since I had suddenly acted, I felt sharp pain go through my arm and I noticed that the wound was bleeding again. I flinched and tried backing my fist away from him, but he grabbed it, dropping the blood stained towel to the ground.

He restrained both of my hands and still had that narrow look in his eyes.

'' You're very stubborn, you know that?'' He forced me to sit back down by my hands and continued to tower over me. He stared and it only made me feel uneasy, afraid to know what he will do next.

After all, I just punched him; I punched a Zoldyk.

I was already overwhelmed by his presence so when I saw him slowly moving his hand towards my head I shut my eyes and shifted my head to the side, as if trying to avoid any unwanted danger. ''_This is the stupidest reaction, but I can't look.. I don't want to..''_

My trail of thought was cut when I noticed the soft patting sensation on my head. The tension in my body lowered and I opened my eyes to see Illumi patting me.

'' You got a hit on me. Good job,'' he replayed with his natural face and with a rather enthusiastic voice. ''_ Hit? ... I can't call that even being a fair trial..''_

'' So.. you mean.. you're not gonna do anything strange ..?'' I was still careful incase he tried to pull something again.

'' Do you want me to?'' He looked at me as he tilted his head to the side a little.

I immediately shook my head and hands in denial: '' NO! I'll pass!'' answering sharply right back at him.  
'' You seem to look better now, '' he commented and released my hands.

'' Huh..'' I raised a brow and looked at him, confused.

'' You were really pitiful a while ago. I thought I was going to have to break an arm or two.''

I gulped, looking at him pick up the blooded towel. He then walked over to the table and soaked the towel with some liquid that was giving off a horrible smell. ''_He was joking right..''_

My face turned sour and I covered my nose.

He set the towel on fire with a match.

As I watched the towel burn with the tint of lavender, it just disintegrated into nothing.

'' Hoo.. it disappeared!'' I watched in awe as if I was seeing a magic show. '' Does that work on people?''

Illumi turned around by my sudden, out of place question. '' Why?''

'' What do you mean why. I'm asking if that stuff works on human flesh.''

'' ..''

There was silence before he decided to answer: '' Yes, it does work on people. As long as it has oxygen, the poison will activate and disintegrate anything it touches, but only when combined with fire.''

My face showed clear surprise. '' Heh, that's pretty cool. Scary.. but cool.''

In my head I was desperately trying to find things to think about rather than on what had happened some moments ago. '' _Why did he go and burn that towel though.. is my blood that horrible? .. E.. No.. he just licked it..''_ I frowned again, remembering the sensation he left on my hand with that action.

I got goosepumps and shook my head, trying to forget the happening.

On the other side I noticed that Illumi was staring. ''_ Ah.. crap. I'm acting strange again.''_

I shifted my eyes away and ticked my finger against my leg unconsciously.

For several minutes there was heavy silence.

I don't think any outside noise made it in this dome. It made me restless, being in the same room with Illumi for so long.

'' Aru.''

'' HAI!'' I got startled by his sudden call and turned my head towards him, straightening my back and becoming stiff.

He kept his eyes on me and I stared right back.

'' You're weird,'' he commented, leaving me baffled.

'' HAH!?'' That was so random and I found myself barking back,'' .. You're plenty weird yourself! Don't go calling people weird, 'cuz you're in the same boat!'' I roughly pointed my finger at him. ''_I just see no point in hanging on to useless topics..even though, everything that has happened is pretty fucked up in my point of view. I can't imagine seeing normal people deal with this kind of crap.. But he's right, I'm too carefree about all of this. I wonder why nothing is bothering me.. It's too strange. Hm. Or maybe I'm the strange one.''_

He approached me and I immediately shut my mouth and snapping out of my thoughts.

'' I know my family is a special case, but you're just strange. Even when you're frightened to death, you still push it aside and act normal later. Why?'' He was in front of me again and gazed with an intense look.

'' Why..you ask..'' I mumbled beneath my breath, '' that's just how I am.. I guess. And most likely the fact that I lived a normal life where I was able to observe people in peace. I didn't grow up with some weird complexes..'' I turned my head to the side, still keeping my eyes on him and muttered quietly: '' unlike you people.''

''_That's not entirely true.. growing up in my family- people that hardly pay attention or keep in contact. I can't possibly know what normal is. Even if my life was plenty boring, I can't exactly say that my psychological state is that of a normal person..''_

*BRRRRR* I suddenly heard something vibrate so I looked towards the table. Illumi's phone was ringing.

He casually walked over and picked it up without saying a word.

As minutes passed, he still hadn't said a word. Instead he took a band-aid roll while listening to the person on the other side of the phone and came back towards me. As he was concentrating on the call he nimbly wrapped the roll around my upper shoulder to stop the bleeding.

He was rather rough with it so I made a low growl, trying not to shout, all for the fact of being polite while he was calling.

When he finished tending me he turned around.

I kept myself busy with untangling parts of my hair and looking over my bony arms. ''_I really hope I can start eating good things soon. I can't stand these stick limbs.''_

''Yes, father, I understand. Yes. No, not an issue,'' he finally spoke and hung up. He was typing something on his phone before turning back and walking over to the door.

'' Come.''

I was confused for a moment, but quickly got up and followed him out of the dome.

Fresh air; I felt the soft summer breeze glide along the grass and past my feet. I'm guessing they had been mowing the lawn somewhere, because I could smell the freshly cut grass blowing along with the wind.

It felt relaxing. I closed my eyes for a short moment to relish the summer air.

It felt so nice. That dome really felt like nothing entered it. It felt like a separated place from this whole planet, something very lonely and empty.

'' Hisoka, you're late.''

I snapped back to reality as I heard Illumi comment on the read head, who was walking out from the forest lazily, with both hands in his pocket.

'' Eh?~ I'm pretty sure I'm right on time,'' he answered back, looking down at his phone that he slid out of his pocket slightly.

For some reason my heart raced and I felt anxious. ''_That bastard gave me those dreams.. Fuck you Hisoka.. You knew fucking well what your ' product' does. Cheap ass little di-''_

'' No. You're thirty seconds late. Compensate it.''

Hisoka gave a lazy surprised face and whined : '' Aw~ c'mon, Illumi. Give me a break. It was effort getting here from the gate already.''

I watched their little act, still feeling irritated because of that embarrassing thing that happened to me.

'' That's not my concern. Compensate it.'' Illumi held out his hand, as if asking for money.

Hisoka looked at him with pleading eyes, but noticing that it had no effect on the assassin, he shifted his eyes towards me.'' How about I just stay here longer with her.''

As he finished his sentence a light grin appeared on his face, giving him his usual charming appearance.

''_ T-the hell do you want..''_

He must of noticed a spike in my aura because his eyes only narrowed in amusement and he continued to grin.

'' Fine with me, Father wants me to take care of something so I'll be gone for a while. Don't bother our butlers with your useless pranks, you're still in our domain,'' Illumi said calmly while walking off towards the house.

My eyes widened as I finally realized that I will be left alone with an even more horrible person. At least Illumi, in his normal times, had rational thinking. As smart and cunning as Hisoka was, he was a fucking clown. Everything was a game to him. If there was non, he would create one.

I noticed my hands getting sweaty just from the those thoughts alone. ''_He wouldn't do anything.. would he. I mean, he can't! This is a job for him, right?''_

Hisoka held is back straight, still having one hand in his pocket while waving at Illumi with the other.

'' Come back soon~,'' as he finished waving he turned his eyes towards me: '' Now then, since we haven't properly introduced ourselves.. '' he calmly walked forward and held out his right hand for a greeting, '' Hisoka.'' He purred out as he leaned in along with his hand, introducing himself all so charmingly.

'' _He's huge ... was he always this big? .. wait never mind. I'm a little brat, it's only normal.''_

I frowned at him, refusing to shake his hand.

'' You already know who I am, Hisoka.'' I folded my arms and stared up at him. ''_ Even when he's leaning his still too tall.. why am I some midget..''_

'' Oh?~ But I couldn't possibly spar with a person I haven't been properly introduced to. It would be a huge honor~'' His eyes narrowed.

I honeslty didn't feel like getting in contact with him. I knew his Nen so I didn't want him pulling some prank on me. But then again, wasn't he only super interested in people who actually were strong. ''_ There shouldn't be any harm in shaking his hand.. I'm pretty sure he's only doing this for some weird purpose for Illumi, but he wouldn't actually have any interest to pull a prank on me. So I'm safe.''_

I was still frowning but took his hand and gave it a hard ''manly'' squeeze. Back home it was very rude to greet someone with a weak, sloppy handshake. Or more like it just left a bad impression of yourself to the other.

Even though I still felt my muscles being rather weak, I still had to admire the speed I was recovering in. It's pretty obvious that in normal circumstances this kind of body recovery would take people months. What ever Alluka did to me is doing wonders. .. I mean Nanika.. AH what ever.

Hisoka smiled and chuckled a little. '' I don't know why you're a specialist, but it's rather remarkable. You'd do well as an enhancer.''

As he said the last part I glared at him. ''_Is he calling me dumb and simple minded ? You fucking shithea..''_

'' There there,'' he murmured in a low voice, '' there's no need to get upset, Aru~'' He pronounced my name slowly and in a whisper.

Suddenly he pulled on my hand and it made me step forward to not lose balance, with that I ended up being too close to him and had to look up in shock; I was only an inch away from his chest.

I hadn't expected it. In shock I snatched my hand away from him and hurriedly took three steps back.

There was a deep frown on my face as I was completely on guard, to what Hisoka only smirked at.

'' Very nice reactions. I guess you're not all that simple-minded.''

'' Shut up. I swear if you pull one more prank on me I'll make sure that pretty face of yours can never be fixed.''

For a moment Hisoka's face fell dull, then smirked again. '' Ah, you mean that. Care to share on what happened?''

My face flushed in an instant: '' AS IF! WHAT KIND OF POTENTIAL CUSTOMERS DO YOU HAVE AFTER THAT STUFF ANYWAY,'' I replied back, angrily.

'' You'd be surprised,'' he answered with an amused tone, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

My face only reflected disgust, as I could only imagine images that some sick people would use it for. ''Never mind, I don't want to know. You're probably among them.'' I turned my face and shook my head to get those ideas out of my mind.

'' Hmph!'' He chuckled and observed in silence. '' Alright, enough rest. If we don't get to work then Illumi will scold you.'' He loosened his pose and rested a hand on his hip.

'' Me? Aren't you my teacher.''

'' Oh that I am~ And I'll teach you good,'' he said with a satisfied smirk, his eyes scanning me.

I couldn't help but shiver at those words and held my breath. ''_ I know how he fights.. and it's not pretty. Plus he's a fucking perv... An attractive perv.'' _As I thought of that I couldn't help but cry a river in my head and sulk. '' Anyway.. Why would I get scolded because of you..''

'' Because you would be the one who hasn't progressed. Illumi is a very busy man, you see. What do you think he'd do if he saw you with no new skills, hmm~?'' he asked with a mocking tone, but smiled wickedly.

'' Tsk.'' I hissed under my breath while gritting my teeth, crossing my own arms.

'' Fine! I'll follow what you'll say. I don't like this any more than you do.'' I barked at him a little with annoyance.

Hisoka as always, kept his signature grin and stood there, eyes peering into mine.

'' Stop staring! And tell me how we're gonna do this shit.''

'' My, what rash words you have. I could just begin in helping you fix that tongue of yours~'' He finished that sentence with gliding the tip of his tongue between his teeth and biting into it a little when reaching the corner of his mouth.

That sudden action disturbed me a little, but not in a bad way. The way he looked, was ''_fucking hot..''_ at my own thought, when I finally realized, I blushed. ''_ FUCK. ARU! shut up! STOP STARING AT HIM. HE KILLS PEOPLE REMEMBER. Hello! Earth calling brain! He's a battle nerd. Get it together you teen-hormoned-crazed-sicko.''_

'' I d-don't need anything else from you. Just teach me how to fight and don't waste my time with your weird ideas.'' I tried acting as tough as I could think of.

The fact that he was around thirty years old didn't bother me one bit. Maybe if I actually was a fifteen year old little girl, I wouldn't have weird ideas about him, or about his selective words for sentences. In my case for now, there was no way I couldn't sexualize what ever he said or did. That's Hisoka were talking about, and my brain and body do not cope right now.

'' Very well. By the looks of it, I am free to guess that, you have not had any training that surrounds fighting or any other physical activity,'' he casually declared his little thought to me and for a fact, I wasn't sure myself. I didn't know who this girl was or what she did when she was alive. But by the look of this body I could easily tell, too, that this person hasn't done any physical activities.

'' Mh. Most probably, yes,'' as I said this, I was still thinking over the possibilities of this dead girls life. ''_ Wait, was my answer too weird? Does Hisoka know I'm an experiment... saying most probably, is like saying that I don't know myself. AGH, YOU IDIOT ILLUMI. Why didn't you tell me what I'm allowed to tell and not. Will I get punished if I mention anything to this creep? I can't count on the fact, that just because they know each other, that Illumi actually is allowed to tell him any information. For all I know, Hisoka could just be doing this to kill time.. then again..''_

'' Hm? You don't know?''

I was snapped out of my thoughts by his words, and I was a little taken aback.

''_ Fuck, he doesn't know.. I'm so dead. What will I do.''_ I must of looked anxious, because I wasn't sure what to tell him. Should I lie? Should I give an around the corner answer?

'' I mean.. that since I'm like this, I don't know my ability to fight. _CAN I REALLY CALL THAT AN ANSWER. IT'S OBVIOUSLY A LIE.'' _I sarcastically yelled at myself in my head after having answered Hisoka awkwardly.

'' Ah I see. Well then, off to rule nr.1~,'' he pointed his finger up while leaning his other arm around his waist, '' never doubt when you fight. Let your body move at will and don't doubt, not even for a second. But that doesn't mean you should neglect tactics. Understand~?'' A smile was still plastered on his lips as he waited for a reply.

'' Uhm.. yes? _Why is he making a gay looking number one with his aura..''_

'' Good~''

Just when he finished saying that one word, I saw him bend his finger over and, in surprise, I saw his Nen flying towards my face. Of course I automatically stepped aside and bent back a little to make sure I saw where it was going to.

'' Ohh~? You can see my Bungee Gum?'' He sounded amused and grinned widely, pulling back the rubbery Nen after asking.

''Of course I can, you idiot! And aren't you supposed to teach me hand combat? I told you I'd wreck that pretty face of yours if you tried any more pranks... Hisoka.'' My eyes narrowed in annoyance as I glared right at him, trying to not sound completely pissed off.

'' It was a little test~ A test! I won't do anything, honest~ But to be called pretty, I don't know about that. I would much rather prefer handsome.'' He held up his hands as if showing empty palms to a cop and making that comment as sugar coated as possible.

His grin didn't fade for once so I found it hard to believe him, but I guess it couldn't be helped, because, obviously, it's Hisoka.

'' Test, my ass. Just go on with the lesson.'' I spat out my words while staring back at him.

'' Hai, hai~'' answering he closed his eyes and took a pose where he squat down to a sitting position and lifted his arms fully in front of himself. '' Hold this position until I say it's good to relax, then we'll move on,'' he said in a relaxed tone while holding that position himself.

'' Are you pulling my leg? I have to do that?''

'' Mhmh~ It's a good strain on the muscles.''

'' Ugh..'' It felt humiliating doing something so stupid, but it couldn't be helped. I had no other options. Plus this was rather safe, compared to what I had imagined him doing.

When I finally managed to settle my own mind, I took the pose. It was more sloppy than his, because obviously it was hard to maintain a sitting position with no actual support.

It was no surprise to me, however, that he was able to do it easily.

'' Also~ You can't use your Nen to help you,'' Hisoka pointed out softly.

'' .. I wouldn't know how to do that anyway.'' I replied back simply, a little confused.

'' Ah. But those scythes you emitted before seemed quite helpful~ if you already managed that, I could only guess that you could use Ryu to help with this training.'' A smirk formed on his lips, while explaining.

I was at a loss.

Scythes? When? Ryu? I don't remember anything.

I continued to stare at Hisoka, trying to understand what he was talking about.

Now I was more worried over the fact if Illumi had told him nothing at all. Or was it that Hisoka was actually THIS bored to just fuck around with me.

'' Listen, Hisoka. I don't know what Illumi has told you or not, but I don't know anything about controlling Nen. I take it you're not that stupid to not be able to figure it out. And also.. HOW LONG AM I SUPPOSED TO STAY LIKE THIS WITHOUT ANY HELP!'' I finally shout at him out of irritation, feeling my legs slowly giving in to the strain.

'' .. Just a little bit more~,'' he calmly answered, completely ignoring my tantrum a few seconds ago.

I gritted my teeth and purposely emitted hate towards him, to at least annoy him a little. In this short time I was able to notice, at least, that I was able to spike up my aura with emotions. Apparently anger was easy to emit towards someone.

Of course I knew it did no actual harm.

''_ This good for nothing, little two-faced, smiling clown bastard. Even though I fancy him ... I can't help but feel annoyed with his face! . . . .I'm so gonna punch it one day. You're fucking asking for it, I know it.''_

As I was yapping away in my head, with all kinds of colorful thought, my stare only got more intense- I was clearly trying to burn a hole in his head.

The next second I got cut out of my thoughts as I saw him standing up straight and stretching his arms and back backwards; He bent all the way to the ground and then flipped his legs in the air to the back, standing up neatly.

He pointed out a finger towards me: '' Alright~ You can stop. But you have to copy what I did, or you'll have to do this pose again~'' he explained in a calm, cheery voice, as if giving a show.

'' .. I..WHAT? ..You're joking...''

'' Hm~ ? You don't want to do it?'' He narrowed his eyes extremely and stared in pure amusement.

'' _Creepy. But at the same time that dangerous look is ..exciting. Wait! NO... this isn't the time to be admiring him..'' _I mentally slapped myself and stood up straight, bending over a little to rub my sore thigh muscles.

Glaring up at him: '' How do you expect me to do it.''

'' Just bend back and flip~''

My brow twitched as I stared at him.

'' ..Just... .. MY ASS! I'm gonna break my back doing that!''

'' Oh~? You won't know until you try~ .. or.. perhaps you want my help?'' He crouched down on the ground and placed his index finger over his lips while tilting his head to the side, looking towards me calculatingly.

'' EH? no.. I don't need anything .. You've done plenty ..'' I returned a hateful look while crossing my arms over my chest.

'' Oh, but there really is nothing wrong with asking for help, y'know~'' Hisoka stood back up, pocketing his hands and started slowly walking towards me.

Panic ran through my chest and I started taking the same amount of steps backwards.

The look in his eyes was that of a fox who just found a nice fat rabbit to gobble down.

Even though I was scared shitless I still tried my best to give the toughest glare I could.  
NICE TRY.

It wouldn't work DUH.

The look in his eyes didn't change and even though I felt like I had to get away from him right away, since he made me do that retarded work-out pose, my leg muscles completely just denied me the possibility to run. Walking already made my legs protest, but I wasn't about to let him get close.

At least that's what I thought.

The minute I thought about running, he was gone.

There was no after shadow. No sudden slow-mo effect to make me see which direction he took.

He was just gone in a blink.

I stopped in my track and waited. I scanned the area. I tried to feel if there was a trace of his aura.

In- he had covered his track with In. I couldn't sense him. ''_Wait.. did I try to search his aura? .. But I .. I HAVE NO SKILLS.. was it just a spur of moment? YAY, I guess I'm not that useless. Good job, Aru!''_

My heart grew more restless in that moment.

Badump.

Badump-dump.

Badu- ..

My heart froze. I froze.

I had cold sweat running down my back.

There was a hand.. a fucking hand on my shoulder.

My eyes peered to the right, seeing that big hand of his there, casually resting on my shoulder.

My eyes grew wide and I automatically spinned on my heel, wanting to back away without loosing sight of him. ''You fucking piece of sh- ...! ''

Unfortunately the sudden action in my weak legs made me lose balance and I felt a rapid sting go through my heart. I was gonna hit the ground..

It happened so fast, but before I fell I had managed to turn my body a little and when my mind was finally able to register my moves, I had perfectly just landed on my hands and pushed myself back up on my feet.

The small amount of adrenaline made my hands shake and I could feel my heart almost beating out of my chest. ''_Whoa..how the fuck did I just do that..''_

I then noticed that I was breathing heavily and my legs were shaking too. '' Tsk! ..''

As I returned my eyes towards Hisoka - Bungee gum was flying towards me.

'' _He wont give me any time to rest! ''_ I dodged it of course, because I simply saw it coming, but he's obviously just playing around. I could easily be dead if he wanted that.

I noticed that the Nen wasn't returning to him so I eyed the rubbery line to the back of my head and saw it already going around my other side.

Hisoka simply yanked his finger back and Bungee Gum made a loop around my shoulders, pulling me along as Hisoka commanded it to return.

With in a second I was dragged in front of him, still bound by the Nen.

In desperation I tried to have my aura pierce through his Nen, but it was no use. I didn't know how to use the different aura techniques. Even if Illumi mentioned that my aura was remarkable and powerful, what's the use if I didn't know how to use it.

Hisoka chuckled softly to himself.

'' It's so sad to think that he can have all the fun~'' His eyes narrowed and a grin formed on his lips at his own words. That look peered into my eyes. '' but I guess I can't hate him for sharing...''

'' Ne. Aru~..'' he said quietly, leaning in to my ear and asking in a husky voice: '' Do you think Illumi would get mad at me .. if I were to break his toys?'' His words were odd.. and cold. They terrified me.

My stomach turned and I started to struggle against the annoying Nen that was keeping me hostage.

'' I wonder how he'd react~'' As Hisoka said this, he ran one of his long fingers down my arm and took a hold of my wrist, then the other.

I felt my breathing stop as anxiety grew bigger in my chest.

'' THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!? GET THE FUCK OFF! HISOKA!?'' I lost my cool and just spurred out what came in my head.

The grip of his hands didn't let me move, not to mention the Nen. He was so close.

My heart was beating nervously.

Hisoka calmly chuckled next to my ear.

In all this chaos that my head was in, I couldn't help but blush at his voice that echoed in my ear.

He was too close. I could feel his body heat towering all over me.

There was a specific smell to him.

It was sweet but I couldn't make out what it was.

A shiver ran down my back.

'' Ack!''

I was brought out of my thoughts when I felt a slick feeling run over my ear.

My eyes shot to my left side as I noticed what Hisoka was doing.

'' AH! W-WG-WHAT ARE YOU DOING!''

'' Mmm~? You were ignoring me. So I thought I'd wake you up,'' he answered with a wide smirk on his face.

'' How did you like it~?

As I was thinking back to his action, he had.. ''_ HE..H-HE LICKED MY EAR?... WHAT THE FUCK..''_

Shivers ran down my whole body and I could feel my face growing more red as I was still looking at him.

'' The hell do you mean ' How'd I like it!' A-as if!'' I replied nervously, wanting to get some distance in. And I hadn't exactly been in this sort of situation before, so everything that I said seemed completely lame to, even, myself.

Hisoka then moved his fingers over my wrists and took a good grip on them.

He leaned in to my ear once again and whispered: '' Let me mold your veins, Aru~''

That part left me cold all over.

My mind couldn't register much. It felt as if my breathing stopped with everything else.

I felt him softly kneading his nails into my skin and I couldn't help but shiver over that feeling.

Fear ran straight through my gut.

My vision froze in front of me and all I could feel was his breath against my skin and his nails.

I was scared.

The sensation of his nails was disturbing and his closeness made it even worse.

It was all too fucking creepy to take in.

''_ WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO..''_

I could feel my vision trembling. It's not that the ground or the world was out of order, it was my vision.

I felt stress building up as he continued to do that.

I mentally slapped myself to stop!

'' LET GO! Get the fuck away, Hisoka!'' I growled at him.

His smirk didn't fade for not even once! It made me angry.

I had no power over these people.

I couldn't shake them.

In that moment I felt a pulse..

I felt relief.

I looked over myself and saw that Hisoka's Nen had shattered.

As I noticed the opportunity, I didn't hesitate even for a moment.

I snapped my wrists away from him and backed away, stumbling back and hitting the ground with my ass.

When I shot a glance at Hisoka, he was dumbfound.

The only reason he loosened his grip was because he didn't catch on to the situation, just like me.

He looked confused and kept looking at me.

'' Hoo~ so that's it.. interesting~'' His smirk was back right away. '' Now I see, why Illumi is so keen on keeping you to himself.''

That small comment made me frown and I couldn't help but be curious. Just what on earth is so god damn special about my Nen. They knew it, but neither of them said anything..

Up until now, while Illumi has done these weird experiments on me, I haven't been able to figure out what they're aiming at. I get it that they're trying to bring out my power.. but .. what are their goals for it. I could just use it against them, but here they are, so fixed on wanting me to use it.

Well.. Hisoka more than Illumi.

He was supposed to teach me hand combat..but so far I've only seen him fucking around with Nen. ''_ That little shit. He want's to piss off Illumi just for amusement. 'Cuz after all.. he's just a fighting maniac. He lives for it..and I'm guessing, would die for it as well.''_

I let out a deep sigh and dropped my head to the back. ''_ Man, he had me so riled up for a moment that I forgot myself in the progress.. He sure has a way with messing with people.''_

I then stood up slowly and and sighed again, giving Hisoka a soft smile, as if understanding his plan.

'' Ahh.. this won't do. My body really is useless after all. But I have to commend on your effort for stirring up my emotions.'' I dusted off my backside, then returned my gaze at Hisoka. '' But you know, I don't need a useless teacher.. and with the way you'd continue, I doubt you'll even receive Illumi's attention.''

I could feel myself being me. I didn't have any hesitation. I didn't feel weird or off the line.

It felt like my head was in control for once. I had no more fear.

Hisokas was taken aback a little and stared at me with wide eyes.

'' You may be skillful enough to fool, trick and disturb your target,'' my eyes narrowed as I lowered my voice and told him off in a cold tone: '' but you will never break me, Hisoka.''

I saw Hisoka's brows rise and for a moment he was completely silent.

At least he was easier to read than Illumi, thank god for that. I knew that my message got through to him and I turned to walk away towards the house. ''_ I'll go look for Retsu or Katsu. Instead of wasting my time with this clown, I can go and do something more productive.''_


End file.
